This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears to be authentic. There are no serious red flags indicating it is a bot or an inauthentic user.
The user's story is highly detailed, emotionally complex, and internally consistent over a significant period (2019-2021). They describe a nuanced personal journey from a feminine gay man to a MtF transition and then to detransition (MtFtM), including specific medical procedures (HRT, breast implants, mastectomy, testosterone injections), psychological motivations (social pressure, bullying, internalized homophobia), and the long-term physical and social consequences. The language is personal, passionate, and contains the kind of anger and stigma mentioned in the prompt, which aligns with a genuine detransitioner's experience. The account does not exhibit the patterns of a scripted bot.
About me
I was a feminine boy who was bullied and thought becoming a woman would make life easier. I transitioned at 17, had surgeries, and became obsessed with passing, which only made me more depressed and isolated. After my bottom surgery, I was shaken awake and realized it was all a terrible mistake for me. I detransitioned at 22, had my implants removed, and started a low dose of testosterone. I'm a gay man now, finally at peace, learning to love my own mix of masculine and feminine traits.
My detransition story
My whole journey started because I was a feminine boy and I got bullied a lot for it in middle school. I felt like being a feminine guy was gross and not okay. I started to think that life would be so much easier if I were a woman. I thought I could actually become one. I had this idea that becoming a girl was like switching to the "good guys" side; I put women on a pedestal and thought men were bad. I didn't understand then that just because I was different from most boys didn't mean I wasn't one.
When I was 17, I told my family I was trans just days after I started thinking about it. My mom was very supportive and told the whole family. I started on hormones and eventually had surgeries, including breast implants and bottom surgery. I wanted to pass as a cis woman so badly that I became obsessed with my appearance. It was an unhealthy obsession, like an ego trip trying to be someone others would be impressed by. I was living in a fantasy, and I even lied to the clinic to get what I wanted, which scares me now to see how easy that was.
During my transition, I was deeply depressed. I lived like a hermit, only leaving my house every three months to go to the gender clinic. I was socially awkward and put so much pressure on myself to look a certain way. I thought transitioning was the answer to my social problems, but it just replaced one set of pressures with another.
Around a year into hormones, I started to have doubts. I would look in the mirror and wonder what I’d look like as a boy again. I even found myself thinking I looked sexy as a male, but I ignored those feelings because I was so obsessed with the idea of being a woman. The real wake-up call for me was after my bottom surgery. It shook me out of the hypnosis I was in and made me realize this was all wrong.
I decided to detransition when I was 22. Telling my family was okay; they have always been supportive, though some feel guilty for not stopping me. The first few days after realizing my mistake, I was devastated and stayed in bed for three days. But since detransitioning, my life has gotten so much better. I’m not scared to go out anymore. I feel free. I had a mastectomy to remove my breast implants, and waking up from that surgery was the first time I felt happy about a surgery. I knew I’d done the right thing.
I started testosterone injections again, but on a low dose because I was worried about side effects like acne and hair loss. It’s been good for me. I have more muscle without even trying, my libido came back, and I feel more peaceful and socially confident. I’ve even started to appreciate my masculinity, which I never thought would happen. I’m a gay man, and I’ve learned to love maleness in myself the way I always loved it in others.
I’ve had some health issues I believe were caused by being on estrogen for five years. I had wrist and back pains, my teeth had problems, and my eyesight got worse. I think a body built with testosterone needs testosterone to stay healthy.
I’ve learned a lot from this. I learned to follow my instincts and that if I like what I see in the mirror, I shouldn’t change it for social acceptance. I’ve reconnected with nature and spirituality, which promotes self-love instead of the self-hate I felt during transition. My biggest regret is not accepting myself sooner. I don’t regret detransitioning at all. It allowed me to be authentic.
I still have long hair and an androgynous face, and sometimes people still call me "ma'am," but that’s okay. I’m just me, with my own mix of feminine and masculine energy. I’m working on changing my legal documents back to male, and then I want to start living fully in the real world. I wasted enough time already.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
Age | Event |
---|---|
17 | Started to identify as transgender and came out to family. Began hormone replacement therapy (HRT). |
17-22 | Lived full-time as a woman. Underwent breast augmentation and bottom surgery. |
22 | Realized transition was a mistake and began social detransition. |
22 | Underwent mastectomy to remove breast implants. Started low-dose testosterone injections. |
23 (Present) | Living as a male again. Managing health and working on legal name/gender marker change. |
Top Comments by /u/-MtFtM-:
Yes, after like 1 year of HRT, I started to wonder what I would look like if I was a boy again, because with transition I started to take care of my appearance much more, so I was wondering what would I look like as a boy with this more aesthetic appearance.
Also, I was enjoying looking at myself at the mirror while being topless, seeing a male and thinking "I'm sexy", but I ignored that and still got the breast implants because I had this crazy obsession of looking like a woman as much as possible and make sure no one knows that I'm trans. I wanted to be seen and live like a cis woman.
So my advice would be, if you ever wonder what you would look like as your birth gender and/or are able to find yourself attractive the way you are, you should stop transition, you don't have much to loose by stopping it for a while but you could loose a lot if you persist.
I would say know your ideals, I remember I had male ideals but I thought that I couldn't reach it because I was too feminine, so I went for females ideals instead thinking I'd have more chance of success, even tho my favorite ideal was male.
Don't transition just because you feel like you're not feminine/masculine enough to be the person you want to be.
Hello,
Osteoroposis, eyesight quality diminution, teeth problems, this is what might happen when you remove testosterone from a testosterone made body for too long.
I'm talking from personal experience since I've been on feminine HRT for 5 years from 17 to 22 and I heard other detrans man say the same. Hapilly for me I was an early bloomer, at 14 people said I looked like 20, so I'm pretty sure I didn't have bones change. But even if you had bones change I think testosterone is the best fit.
Don't worry for your muscles, they will naturally grow back once you get back on testosterone, after some weeks of musculation and almost a year on T I was able to do 19 Pull-Ups, while on HRT I bet I wouldn't have been able to do 1, I couldn't carry my body at all.
For your breasts you might have to do mastectomy or maybe they will disappear as you get back testosterone I'm not sure, I personally had to do mastectomy since I had breast implants.
I recommend you to don't do bottom surgery, I've done it myself before I even turn 20 and the surgery was considered a success, but still it triggered some problems that I didn't expect, and in the meantime I learnt to accept and love my original body so I actually didn't need to do SRS.
Know that you can be as feminine as you want even if you decide to stop HRT, give yourself the freedom to be free. You're as worthy as anyone else the way you are and will always be.
The way to self-acceptance and most importantly self-love is the best way to go, it may be harder to do as a teenager but as you age up and become wiser you'll know that's true.
For me SRS has been a wake up call, it's like it made me move out of this hypnosis/sleepwalking state I was in and I slowly but surely started to realize that all of that was so wrong.
Then I started to get into spiritualy/esoterism and it so much helped to be more at peace, this ideology of love and understanding that you are so much more than just your physical body is the key in my opinion. It's so refreshing from the transgender ideology that makes you hate yourself, your body, everyone...
It's so sad when you think that people feel forced to do a transition because of the way society is, things really need to change, I'm pride I broke free from the old system, I hope many more does.
Good luck to you OP and to anyone who reads this, remember to listen to your heart, may you find inner peace. 💜
Hello,
It's funny how often I see MtFtM people saying that after reflexion they figured out that they mainly transitioned because of school bullying that made them feel inadequate and uncomfortable as a boy.
I'm also MtFtM and I transitioned for the same reasons, social pressure and the desire to fit it seems to really be a thing among us.
What you could do is reducing your estrogen dosage each week until you completely stop and of course also stop the anti testosterone medication, then your body should most likely get back to it's normal hormonal system. Do blood tests to check if your testosterone is getting back to normal and also to check if you're overall healthy.
If you can, find a doctor who could help you through this detransition process, because I'm not a doctor I'm just talking by personal experience.
If you have very small breasts, wait at least some months after being back on normal testosterone to see if they vanish. If they don't or if you already have prominent boobs, and if it's a big deal for you then you might consider doing a mastectomy. I highly recommend you to choose a surgeon that is specifically competent in doing mastectomies, to make sure that you end up with a good looking torso.
I'm 22 and I started to medically detransition a year ago, after being on HRT for almost 5 years. Last year I had a mastectomy to remove my fake boobs and get back a flat man-looking chest, and I'm very happy about it. I also feel much better since testosterone is back in me.
Good luck to you and remember that it's okay to be feminine even if you choose to live as a boy, don't imprison yourself once again, just be yourself and be free ! ;)
I'm there if you need support !
Even tho I did a MtF transition I relate so much to pretty much everything you said, I also have a big imagination and like to imagine myself as someone else, I lied to the clinic too (so scary to see how easy it can be...) and I was supported by my family.
"The whole thing was an ego-trip, an attempt to be someone that others were impressed by." Exactly, so true !
Nowadays I still have that big imagination and I live a lot in my mind but I understood that trying to achieve a dream/phantasm by going through drugs and/or surgeries isn't a good idea, especially if you're young because your way of thinking can change so easily and so does your ideal.
Besides, I started my detransiton socially and medically and I don't regret it, I wish you good luck with yours.
I'm sorry, I understand your frustration. But in my opinion you still sing well, and except maybe for the lowest, all your notes sounded like a woman singing.
I enjoyed hearing you, could you tell me what the song is? It kind of sounded familiar to me but I can't remember. 🤔
Hello, I'm sorry for all of that and I want you to know that you're not alone.
I've done pretty much the same things as what you've done and it didn't prevent me from detransitioning, and I don't regret it, being authentic is very important, at least it is for me.
I had a mastectomy last year to remove my fake boobs and the small growth I had with hrt, it was the biggest problem for me since I couldn't really hide them, I feel so relieved to don't have those boobs anymore, it so much didn't fit me. However, I'm sad that I lost the perfect torso I used to have pre transition but it's still way better than having boobs so I don't regret it a second, it was actually the first time I would wake up from a surgery and feel like I'm happy about it, I knew for sure I did the right thing, for once ! I can't wait to be able to go back to the sea !
I also started testosterone injections last year, it feels good knowing you've got the appropriate hormones back in your body and it's healthier that way too.
I'm working on a letter to change my documentations back to my original male identity, I should have done it months ago already but since I'm a lazy ass I still didn't finish it, I should really get it over with since it's the main thing preventing me from looking for a job or starting something in the real world.
I didn't do anything to fix my bottom, it has been a very hard experience and I kind of needed a rest, after being so obsessed with that for so long I wanted to just forget for a while. After I'm done with legal documents change I'm gonna look more deeply into it but I won't let it hold me back from doing what I want in life, I wasted enough time already.
The possible ways I heard of to fix it would be genitals transplantation from another men, stem cell regeneration or getting the same kind of surgery FtM gets. Stem cell regeneration is still in development so it will probably not be an option for us before at least 5 years if it ever becomes an option. So far, full genitals transplantation (without testicles) has already been made but only like once or twice and when you do it you have to take a lot of medication to prevent the new body part from being rejected. And FtM surgery is a fake penis with a piece of your arm skin.
Personally, I'm trying to accept myself the way I am so that in case I never get any surgery to fix it I won't be too devastated, but that doesn't mean that I gave up on doing something if I have the opportunity to.
So my advice would be try to accept yourself and be in peace and feel free to change/fix what you feel like you need to. Don't think that you can't detransition because you've done bottom surgery, just look at me, it didn't stop me, and I think that it shouldn't stop anyone or make people suicide, stop valuating that so much.
Know your worth. Don't think that you worth less because of what you've done. What makes people valuable or not is how they act as persons, not their bottom.
Try to get a passion, hobbies, see the world from the bright side, learn to enjoy what's positive and be grateful of what you still have. Reconnect with nature.
I personally started to get into spirituality last year and it helped me a lot, some people say that it's fake and I can't really prove that it's not but what I know is that it's an unharmful ideology, it's basically promoting self love, love to others and being positive, resilient, which is very important in our case. Unless the transgender ideology that promote self hate, illusions and superficiality.
I wish you good luck.
If you need someone to text chat or voice chat with I'm there and available very often so don't hesitate ! We're all in this together.
With all my love.
Because I thought that my life was going to be better as a feminine straight women than as a feminine gay man, mainly because of what I've been through in middle school, all the bullying I got for being a feminine boy.
My goal was to pass as a cis women, don't tell people that I'm trans, I really thought I could become a women.
I can relate to so many things you said, such as the easy mode part.
But unlike you I've never seen myself as inferior or wanted to be seen as inferior, for me being a feminine girl was the best so for me it was mostly about becoming even more superior.
I learnt that I should follow my instincts, my intuitions, that if I like what I see in the mirror I shouldn't change it, even if I think it would make me more comfortable socially, because then it would mean that I do it for others and not truly for me.
I also learnt that accepting my true self is the best thing ever, because then it even led me to love things about me that I really didn't imagine I could only accept before detransition.
Detransition also taught me to be more aware of the beauty of nature, I got back the kind of connection I used to have as a child.
I try to focus on the positive, on what I'm grateful of, I realized that the negative that is part of my life is actually not that much of a big deal compared to all the positive that I still have.