This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears to be authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic user.
The comments demonstrate:
- Personal, nuanced, and emotionally intelligent responses that are context-specific.
- Consistent personal history, referencing a detrans journey, internalized misogyny, and living in a conservative Eastern European country.
- Complex and evolving viewpoints on gender, which is consistent with the stated experiences of detransitioners and desisters.
- Normal human behavior, such as admitting to phrasing things poorly, sharing personal art habits, and discussing triggers.
About me
I started my transition at 19, believing I was a man because I felt I didn't fit in as a woman and was deeply uncomfortable with my female body. I had top surgery at 22, but the relief was temporary and I soon realized it didn't fix my deeper issues with self-esteem and anxiety. I began to detransition last year after leaving online echo chambers and finding inspiration from confident women who helped me overcome my internalized shame. I now see my desire to transition was an escape from societal pressures and my own unresolved trauma. I am learning to accept myself as a female person, and that my body doesn't have to define who I am.
My detransition story
My whole journey with transition started when I was around 19. I was born female, but I never felt like I fit in with other girls. Looking back, a lot of my feelings were tangled up with internalized homophobia and a deep discomfort with the changes my body went through during puberty. I hated my breasts and felt incredibly uncomfortable in my own skin. I think a lot of this was also connected to growing up in a conservative, homophobic country, which made it hard to accept being a lesbian.
I started identifying as non-binary first, and then later as a trans man. It felt like an escape from all the pressures and expectations that came with being a woman. A huge part of my decision to transition was influenced by what I saw online and by my friends, who were also exploring their gender identities. We were all in this bubble where transitioning was presented as the only solution to our discomfort.
I ended up getting top surgery when I was 22. At the time, I thought it was what I needed to finally be happy and feel comfortable. For a little while, I did feel a sense of relief. But that feeling didn't last. After the surgery, I started to realize that my problems weren't really about my body. Removing my breasts didn't fix my low self-esteem, my depression, or my anxiety. It just gave me a new set of issues to deal with.
I began to detransition last year, when I was 24. What really helped me was stepping away from the online echo chambers and starting to befriend women who were unapologetically themselves. Seeing them embrace their femaleness without shame helped me dismantle a lot of my own internalized misogyny. I started to understand that my discomfort wasn't with being female, but with the rigid stereotypes society forces on women. I just wanted to exist peacefully without having to think about gender at all.
I don't regret my transition in the sense that it was a path I had to walk to get to where I am now, but I do have regrets. I regret not questioning things more deeply before making permanent changes to my body. I regret that I was influenced so heavily by my environment and didn't get non-affirming therapy to really explore my feelings. I now see that a lot of my desire to transition was a form of escapism from dealing with my trauma and other underlying issues.
Now, I see gender as a set of social stereotypes that box people in. I don't really believe in it anymore. I just am a female person, and that's okay. My body is just my body; it doesn't have to mean anything more than that. I'm trying to learn to accept myself as I am.
Here is a timeline of my transition and detransition events:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 19 | Began to socially transition, first identifying as non-binary. |
| 22 | Underwent top surgery. |
| 24 | Began my detransition journey. |
Top Comments by /u/0_0_u:
I'm not familiar with your current friend circle obviously, but if this is not the case yet I think you could benefit a lot from surrounding yourself with women you genuinely think are cool and interesting. To me it helped to get rid of a ton of internalized misogyny once I befriended women that were unapologetically themselves and embraced their femaleness and I could see them as people with complex personalities, not as abstract stereotypes.
I think the issue is more that society in general is hostile towards anyone slightly not conforming to strict gender expectations and has been since the dawn of time. Although it's true that transgenderism has never had this much visibility, which definitely complicates things, "transphobia" is basically just this exact same hostility towards GNC people. No matter how we identify, to them it doesn't make a difference, because we do not fit into their neat little boxes.
i'm definitely more bothered by this too recently, but it felt uncomfortable even in the beginning of my transition, if i remember well. it IS patronizing for sure, and something you wouldn't ever say to people who are identifying with their birth sex. almost like they are singling out, making fun of you for being trans, or something.
but to be fair, i'd hate to receive affirmations no matter masculine or feminine, because they always just feel like reinforcement of sexist stereotypes. hell, as a female it would probably make me want to jump off a cliff even more if people started pointing out my feminine traits. i just want to peacefully exist without thinking about gender at all.
Despite having fallen out of the Drag Race loop since around 2019, I was aware of Gottmik as the first contestant who's an out and proud trans man. From what I've seen, her aesthetic is imho very cool and fashion-forward, but I had no idea about this top surgery runway look until I just looked it up as per your mention and...wow. I'm a huge fan of dark humor and the macabre in art, but the removed breast tissues in a biohazard bag is fucked up in a deeply unsettling way. I saw her post on IG and of course, the background music is "Off with her tits" by Allie X...I just KNEW the first time I heard that song that trans identified females are going to reclaim it big time. And the way everybody is just cheering this on in the comments, people I've looked up to for a very long time...
One of them for sure has some neurodivergence, but I don't know if she was officially diagnosed with anything. The other person I have never suspected to be on the spectrum, so idk. In the first few years of our friendship, they were still both hyperfeminine gay males and we are all from a homophobic conservative shithole country in Eastern Europe so I'm worried it's more like some self-hatred and shame due to that (I know for me it played a huge part).
Yes, you have very round and soft facial features and a feminine hairline. It would never cross my mind that you were born as anything other than female. But I understand that insecurities/dysmorphia can warp how we perceive ourselves to extreme degrees, especially with society's narrow ideal of what a woman should look like. Please always remember that it's all in your head. :)
While I also cannot give a definite answer to any of these questions besides what you just said, I think in a lot of cases it highly depends on the individual's environment. I suppose it's much more difficult to question oneself and think of things through a critical lens when everyone else around is super affirming. I doubt people stop "living the lie" when they are knee-deep in a trans echo chamber.
Hey, thanks for the notice. I've been considering watching that film too, despite having a feeling based on what I read that it is indeed going to be triggering. I'm still curious tho, so I will probably watch it anyway. At least that way I can explain to people why I didn't like it lol
Personally, when I was trying to play with more fem presentation but had short hair, I tied a silk scarf around my head, something like this: https://www.beautycrew.com.au/media/53561/silk-hair-scarf-trend-p.png?width=490
It's a very specific vibe tho, so I'm not sure it's matching with your style.
I'm not from Germany, but I know that one of the founders of Post Trans is, so maybe it would be nice to get in touch with her. Since she is working on this bigger project, it is possible she already has more connections with local detrans people.