if these people were abandoned on a desert island with a “detransitioner” they would be eventually become friends over our shared humanity. this hatred only happens because these people have insecurities of their own, and are elevating themselves by participating in derogatory language. that and the fact that they’re seeing things im black and white when it comes to an incredibly complex and nuanced topic. shame on them!!

if anyone is actually being effected negatively by these horrible viewpoints PLEASE reach out for help. you are not alone and you are worthy of love and life. if anything, your experience in this field is priceless, and you contribute to the advancement of society as a whole by having the insider knowledge you do.

it sounds like you’d be much happier detransitioning, and you’re not copying your friend. it doesn’t matter that your mother has told people about what you’re going through. what matters it that they only want the best for you, and this stuff is scaring them. THIS is what makes people commit suicide, the feelings you’re having right now, and they know that.

your body hair? totally erase-able. your body fat? you can also get rid of that. i guarantee that you’re lovable and i guarantee that you need to detransition before it kills you. my inbox is always open if you want to reach out. everything will be okay as long as you keep asking for help, please don’t isolate yourself in these feelings!!

sending love from canada

you can train your voice to sound feminine again, you’re not unloveable because you were on T. a lot of cis women who have PCOS go through similar hormonal changes. i was on T for 8 years, i trained my voice to sound 100% feminine again. you’d be surprised how well vocal training works. if you really want to refeminize yourself further and if your adams apple is really prominent i would save up to get a tracheal shave surgery, but again, my mother has a noticeable adams apple and its really not a huge deal.

truly though, there are cis women with adams apples. there are cis women with larger-than-average clitoruses. is it the size of your thumb? no? then you’re good. being detrans isn’t bad, and you’re not “less-than” other people because of it.

you need to get out of this negative mindset. genuinely, it will kill you. it’s not healthy to be feeling this way, and i guarantee if you were stuck on a desert island with the nastiest of the transphobes you’d become friends over your shared humanity.

beauty pageants and bodybuilding shows make even cis people who have never questioned their gender jealous. pride is a sin for a reason. you are YOU and you are beautiful. and trust me, going off T will really make a huge difference. whatever hair you lost will come back, your body hair will go away, your beard will soften and grow very slowly making it easy to shave. if you really want to you can get laser hair removal on your beard, a couple sessions and it will be gone forever.

detrans women are genuinely miracles, a couple years off T and you can’t even tell they were on it. and contrary to what anyone says, you don’t have to tell people you were trans. it can be a private matter and nobody would blame you for keeping it private, not even a partner.

sending love from canada.

if your period comes back you’ll lose your mind? it already sounds like the male secondary sex characteristics are driving you insane. you say you like having body hair and a deep voice… until you don’t. when you don’t like your body, you hate it. you hate it so much you’ll stand in front of a mirror and cry.

i was going to say, just stay on T until you’re more mentally stable and then make a decision to go off; i even wrote out and published a comment saying just that. but honestly, after reading and re-reading it, that’s bad advice. i deleted it. i’ll stick to the guns i brought out in the first comment i posted here: you need to detransition before these feelings ultimately kill you.

you WILL be passable as female if you do detransition. you’re not going to be stuck in this in between phase forever, and your family and friends will understand. it will be much easier and come much more naturally than you think. they only want what’s best for you, what will make you happy and healthy.

it will get easier. your “junk” (lol) will function better and better the longer your body is producing it’s natural hormones, and there are lots of treatments (topical DHT, pumping, etc) which can help. as for your breasts, i know lots of guys with gynocomastia and they just don’t care. someone says something? they deserved to get punched in the face.

i think it’s important to acknowledge that even cis people who didn’t get trans brainworms experience feelings of jealousy when they see a male or female who is gorgeous and fits into society’s standards of femininity or masculinity. there is a reason why pride is considered a sin in many religions. beauty pageants and bodybuilding competitions have always been harmful.

if you meet a woman who loves you, she will not think your previous struggles with gender and transition is gross or unattractive, she will love you MORE because of it. you are not unattractive because your body was exposed to synthetic hormones, your experiences shape who you are today and make you all the more lovable. i have noticed that cis people who are able to discuss these topics with detransitioners are quite elated and it is like a breath of fresh air to them to be able to talk with someone so knowledgeable in such a complex and nuanced subject.

you are not “less than” someone who is cisgender. you are not “damaged” by what has happened to you. and you are DEFINITELY not unloveable.

hope this helps. sending love from canada

yes go see a vocal coach immediately, your voice is in dire need of training. you may find that once you gain more control of your vocal chords you’ll like how developed they are. my range is far better and my singing far more impressive after my voice dropped/ subsequent training.

i think that you should tell her, it will bring you closer together and if you do it right it will give you something to talk about. you’d be surprised how understanding a loving partner can be. and trust me, if shes a girl and you’re a guy she’s going to see you as manly, she’s not comparing you to other dudes she’s comparing you to herself.

sounds like you’re a healthy young male having healthy young male feelings about women. you want to live vicariously through a female partner the same way she would want to live vicariously through you. as for your sexuality, you very well could be demi-sexual, which means you only experience a sexual attraction to people whom you are in love with.

hope this helps.

yes i agree, i am a singer too. i was on T for 8 years, i can make my voice sound like a man or a woman’s, and people say when i talk with my upper register they can’t tell my voice ever dropped. vocal training REALLY works wonders, theres a reason why mezzo sopranos (male sopranos) exist; the voice is a seriously wonderful and amazing tool. even if your vocal chords thicken, you can still sound like a female. when in doubt: SING.

you could honestly be genderqueer, i have been in a similar boat. i want to be pretty and delicate but at the same time i want to look mean and tough. at the end of the day we have xx chromosomes and we have to accept that we have female genitalia and female sex hormones, and we have to accept that cross sex hormones could really mess up our bodies natural functions; that being said, it is totally okay to be queer. and i mean TOTALLY OKAY. you can identify as a guy and use he/him pronouns, you can enjoy a more masculine role in the bedroom and more masculine clothes, you can learn martial arts and absolute scare people with how your body is also a weapon, and while you do all of that you can also be delicate and beautiful and have female hormones.

i would say the biggest difference between you and i would be the fact that you don’t have a partner to tell you you’re desirable. seriously, you deserve love. even if it’s queer love, it’s still love. you don’t have to be an asshole ballerina marrying an asshole lumberjack. you can be deeper than that, and it doesn’t make you defective, it makes you REAL.