This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic user.
The comments demonstrate:
- Personal, detailed experience with detransition (e.g., specific timelines, physical changes, laser hair removal, voice changes).
- Consistent empathy and support for other users, offering practical advice and emotional encouragement.
- Nuanced views that acknowledge the complexity of the issue, including support for transgender autonomy despite personal regret.
- A natural writing style with varied sentence structure, personal anecdotes, and emotional tone that aligns with a passionate, genuine individual.
About me
I was born female and started transitioning in my early twenties, hoping it would solve my lifelong depression and anxiety. I took testosterone for over four years and had top surgery, but my underlying mental health struggles never went away. I realized I was just pretending to be someone else and stopped everything when I was 27. Now, I'm learning to accept myself as a woman again, which is a difficult but freeing process. My biggest regret is not understanding my own mental health before making such permanent changes.
My detransition story
My name isn't important, but my story is. I’m sharing this in the hope that it might help someone else feel less alone.
I was born female, and my journey into transitioning started when I was a teenager. I struggled with deep depression and anxiety for as long as I can remember, well before I ever thought about gender. I now see that a lot of my desire to transition was tied to my neurodivergence and other mental health struggles; it felt like an escape from myself and the discomfort I felt during puberty. I really hated the changes my body was going through, especially developing breasts. I think I was also influenced a lot by what I saw online; it felt like this was the solution everyone was talking about.
I started identifying as non-binary first, but that quickly shifted to wanting to fully transition to male. I began testosterone when I was 22 and was on it for over four years. At the start, it did make me feel less miserable. There was a real sense of euphoria, like I was finally doing something I had wanted for so long. I got top surgery during that time, and I was convinced it was the right path for me.
But that feeling didn't last. The underlying depression and suicidal thoughts I’d had since high school never went away; they were just humming in the background the entire time. Eventually, I realized that transitioning wasn't solving my core problems. I was just living as a different person, and it felt like I was pretending. I made the decision to detransition and stop testosterone cold turkey when I was about 27. It was a scary step, but I was desperate to stop.
Detransitioning has been its own long journey. My body has changed a lot since going off T. My face has softened, my voice has slowly gotten higher and softer with a little bit of conscious effort, and I’ve had to deal with the permanent changes, like my flat chest from top surgery and some broader shoulders. I had a lot of anxiety about my appearance and how people, especially potential partners, would perceive me. I used to think no man would ever want a woman with a flat chest, but I’ve been working to challenge and unlearn those thoughts.
The hardest part hasn’t been the physical changes, but the mental shift. I’ve had to learn to stop obsessing over my appearance and how I “pass” as a woman now. I’m trying to just live my life without the constant pressure of a hormone regimen or fitting into a specific gender box. It’s freeing, but it’s a daily practice. Therapy has been crucial for me in processing everything I’ve been through.
I don’t regret that I had the autonomy to make these choices for myself. I still strongly believe adults should have the right to choose what to do with their bodies. My journey being wrong for me doesn’t mean it’s wrong for everyone. But I do have regrets. I regret not understanding my own mental health better before making such permanent decisions. I regret the years I spent living as someone I wasn't.
These days, I just see myself as a woman. It feels strange to say that after over a decade of having such an unstable sense of gender, but it feels right. The waters have finally settled. I’m focused on healing and moving forward with my life.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Teen Years | Struggled with depression, anxiety, and discomfort during puberty. Hated developing breasts. |
| Early 20s | Heavily influenced by online communities. Began identifying as non-binary. |
| 22 | Started testosterone therapy. |
| 23-26 | Underwent top surgery. Lived as a male. |
| 27 | Stopped testosterone cold turkey and began social detransition. |
| 27-29 (Present) | Navigating physical and mental changes of detransition. Focusing on therapy and self-acceptance. |
Top Comments by /u/1nternetpersonas:
That’s just not true tbh. Plenty of men won’t mind a flat chest. I know it’s hard, but these kinds of generalisations are thoughts that you need to challenge and unlearn over time. You can have a flat chest and still be attractive and desirable, sometimes it just takes a bit of work to get to the point where you really believe it and understand that it’s true <3
You are feminising really quickly and you look so good! That’s pretty amazing for only being a few months off. I was on T for 4 years too and it’s taken me a lot longer to noticeably change, but I’m getting there. You’ll continue to progress too- you’re going to be okay :)
Tbh the best thing you can do for yourself is to actively work on not obsessing over your appearance and how others perceive you and making comparisons. It's hard, but it's a huge barrier to happiness as a detrans person. The beauty of detransitioning is that you just get to live your life now. You can free yourself from worrying about the concept of passing, you don't have a strict hormone regime anymore, you can just settle into your existence. But to do that you need to let yourself live. Unlearning the fixation on gender and appearance is hard, but it's something I'm personally working on and think it's worth doing.
I know it's easier said than done, but seeking out validation truly doesn't get us anywhere. So I thought I'd offer some food for thought instead. Wishing you all the best! I know the journey is rough and full of ups and downs but keep your chin up :)
Ok so I am supportive of trans people and a detransitioner myself (ftmtf). I don't at all believe that trans women or detrans men are sick perverts, nor do I assign any other negative traits to the group. So with that in mind, I really tried to be sympathetic reading this post but it's so... Cruel almost?
Women don't build their entire identity around victimhood and it's quite degrading to insinuate that we do. The reality is that A LOT of us are victims, there's no building necessary. That's just a very common reality of womanhood. We are far more than that though, and our identities and experiences are rich and complex.
Excuse me if I misunderstood what you were saying, but that's how I interpreted your words?
Also being male isn't a deformity or an inherently bad thing at all. But denying the violent misogyny present in the world is a huge problem.
I don't know if it was life saving but I do know that it made me feel less miserable initially. I felt like I was finally doing something that I had wanted for so long, and it was quite euphoric. It's hard to speak on the life saving element though, as I have struggled with suicidality since the start of high school- well before any gender issues started. So that's always been something that hums away in the background and did continue to hum in the background through transition and would've continued humming without transition.
To be fair, you are still criticising women here? You are still saying that a subset of women build their identity around victimhood and are envious of another victimised group because of that?
I just think that attitude isn't great, and may be a part of any poor responses you get in spaces like this one. I hope you can find what you're looking for in terms of support, but this isn't going to be received well.
There is hope, and detransition is always an option. You don’t have to stay on a path that isn’t serving you anymore. If these feelings are haunting you, they’re trying to tell you something very important.
Could you maybe open up a conversation with your partner about it? You said she’s very supportive so that seems like a great place to start talking through what’s going on with someone who loves you and who will want to help and support you. It helps to feel like someone has your back, and to just tell someone what’s going on.
There’s no shame in these feelings, in wanting things to be different. You deserve to express what’s going on, you don’t have to suffer in silence. If you do decide to detransition, the journey won’t be easy- but there is always hope and it is a valid option to pursue. You don’t have to think about reversal surgeries straight away, or ever. You can start with much smaller things you might be able to do to feel happier in yourself.
I’m really sorry you’ve found yourself in this position. I never had bottom surgery, only top. I’ve found that in itself very challenging and can imagine that having had both only amplifies the difficulty and regret. Sending loads of love your way, I hope you find some healing and support.
Anecdotally, these things can reverse (at least somewhat). My face has changed a bunch since being off T, including my jaw. I still have pretty broad shoulders, but tbh I also had broad shoulders for a woman pre-T. If I lost some weight I think the broadness would probably dissipate a little.
I’m really worried about this too. In a year’s time I’ll be done with my master’s and applying for jobs and idk I just wish I didn’t have to think about this on top of the regular stress of job seeking. I hope you can find somewhere that’s a good fit soon. I’m sure there are plenty of workplaces who couldn’t care less, just have to persevere until we find them!
I'd keep it quite basic. Assert that your birth sex is female, that you previously transitioned and have since ceased transition to revert back to living as your birth sex/gender. State that you never got a gender recognition certificate whilst being transitioned, and thus your sex always has been documented as female, and continues to be documented as female. Imo it doesn't need anything more than that :)