This is the thing I noticed about transitioning lately. I feel like it’s becoming less of a solution to a medical condition (dysphoria) and more of a way to just express yourself. Which isnt bad, but to transition you need to take hormones and possibly surgery which can leave permanent effects that can make you regret expressing yourself in this way.

I realised that I realistically couldn’t achieve what I wanted. I could get my chest chopped off, take testosterone, grow a beard and everything like that, but my sex would never realistically match a male at birth. Sure I could get surgery, but I would have to go through a year or more of surgery and in’s and outs of hospital. I would have to go through 4 years to become fully transitioned overall.

Then there’s the social issues. it still isn’t largely accepted by the world. I could get hatecrimed just for transitioning. The whole reason I wanted to transition was to be accepted as male. So what’s the point if people won’t accept me in the first place, no matter what I do?

I wasn’t entirely “out” as a trans man but I presented that way where people would actually think I’m male (till they heard my voice). I only told my friends about wanting to transition. I had a male name for myself and all.

After a year of just deciding on whether I should actually go through and get on T, I suddenly just decided to “tone down” the whole androgyny/masculinity and basically socially detransition when I came to the conclusion in the first 2 paragraphs. I also saw other girls, fem and masc, just enjoying their life as a female with no worries.

I still sometimes get the urge of wanting to be a male, but I just can’t do it because I know I will never get the results I truly want, atleast not in these current times.

i only slightly resent it but i haven’t “stopped believing” trans people. I definitely wish I could’ve realised i was just a girl earlier and stopped trying to force myself to be male but I wouldn’t blame the trans community entirely for it. It’s the environment i was raised in and society in general that made me think i wasnt good enough to be a girl in the first place.

Man I felt the same, just opposite genders lol. I used to scroll the media and think I was trans because I didn’t like typical girly stuff, wanted a body like a man and stuff like that. Even people would “confirm” I was trans because of those feelings. I began to desperately want hormones to transition. It wasn’t until I took a break from social media and trans media, and literally the “dysphoria” went away.

I still enjoy expressing myself as a male through cosplay and online avatars, but now, I wouldn’t say I’m trans. I’m more so just a Gender Non-conforming woman. Maybe take a break from Trans stuff on reddit and whatnot, go out and do things as you normally would, and see how you feel afterwards. At the end of the day it’s best to get a therapist and just explain your feelings to get to the root of all of it.

Wow.. quite a journey… I’m happy for you that you were able to overcome all that and heal now. I hope you can finally find comfort within yourself after all this. And I definitely agree so much on your point with self expression - it should be less connected to gender. Just because a guy likes to be feminine and even express himself as a girl doesn’t mean he’s trans.

A bit of an off-rant now but it’s why I really dislike egg culture. You post something like “I’m a guy but I like wearing skirts and playing as female characters - what does that mean?”. And all the comments say you’re 100% trans. The whole r/egg_irl sub just seems like a mentally unhealthy place to scroll through on a daily basis.

this is exactly how i feel! i used to get bad gender dysphoria and believed the only way to fix it was to transition. I was well on my way to going to therapists and discussing transitioning but i missed the appointments as i had to travel to my hometown. I reconnected with old friends and i believed they helped me just accept myself for who i am and alleviate that dysphoria. I still get dysphoria but very rarely now. It’s weird, I don’t consider myself trans but I would 100% “transition” if i could be a CIS male. but sadly it’s just not possible.

Take your mind off yourself and do things. Try and get busy with stuff. Start some hobbies, hang out with friends, get busy working. I find that taking my mind off my body and becoming busy with other things in life gets rid of those thoughts.

Not only that, but stop scrolling through trans subreddits. Transitioning is very idealised in those spaces when in reality it’s a struggle having to go through with getting hormones, changing offical documents, having to cope with never being cis, being unaccepted in many spaces, being hatecrimed, etc. Life will be so much easier just staying as your AGAB.

i had a really similar experience to you. had more in common with boys, felt like an outsider to girls, etc etc. however i began to just try and accept myself as a woman - it took a while but now i realised i don’t mind being one. i love my body and long hair now. i may not fit in with other girls still but it doesn’t mean i’m a man. not only that - i’ve accepted that no matter how much i transition i won’t ever be comfortable with the end results. i wanted to be a cis man, not a trans man.

if you continue hating yourself and feeling dysphoric i think you should just try out presenting as a woman, maybe you feel dysphoric/self-hatred because you put yourself into this box of trying to be a man ever since you were 14. but at the end of the day it’s up to you. hope you can find your true self.

Idk. I definitely still wish I was male from time to time but I’ve accepted I realistically can’t reach the results I want through transitioning. I don’t conform to society’s usual standards for women but for the sake of simplicity I’d just consider myself cis female.