This story is from the comments by /u/5nine8 that are listed below, summarised with AI.
User Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user's narrative is highly detailed, internally consistent, and emotionally complex. They describe a very specific and difficult personal journey involving trauma, mental health struggles, the physical and emotional effects of HRT, and the social repercussions of transitioning and detransitioning. The language is natural, with personal reflections, self-corrections, and a mix of anger, pain, and peace that aligns with the stated reality of a detransitioner's experience.
About me
I started transitioning at 29, trying to escape a traumatic past and my own self-loathing. My 16 months on hormones were physically and mentally devastating, leading to hospitalizations and abuse from within the community. I realized it wasn't right for me when I kept delaying surgery and found myself forcing a femininity that felt inauthentic. Detransitioning was a painful process, but it finally brought me peace. I'm now a bisexual man who has learned to embrace a healthy masculinity and focus on living my life.
My detransition story
My whole journey with transition and detransition was, in the end, about trying to escape myself. I had a really horrible childhood filled with abuse, and my way of coping was to always try to run away from my past and my problems. Transitioning felt like the ultimate way to do that—to become someone completely new and leave the person I was behind.
I was born male, but I never felt like I fit in with other boys. I desperately wanted to be a regular kid, to do things like Boy Scouts and taekwondo, but I had an overbearing mother who wouldn't allow it. I grew up surrounded by women who had been deeply traumatized by men, and that gave me a very negative view of masculinity. I also struggled with my bisexuality and had been sexually abused by older women, which made me deeply uncomfortable in my own skin. All of this combined made me believe that being a man was something shameful.
I started identifying as a transgender woman when I was 29. I was on hormone replacement therapy (HRT), estrogen and anti-androgens, for about 16 months. At the time, I genuinely believed it was the right path for me. The trans community I was in was overwhelmingly positive and supportive, always cheering me on. But that positivity was a problem; no one ever questioned if it was truly right for me, even when my mental health was clearly falling apart.
Being a non-passing trans woman was a traumatic experience. I was harassed, threatened, and ostracized. I was terrified to use public bathrooms because I didn't feel safe in either the men's or the women's. I was hospitalized three times and in a crisis center four times after suicide attempts. The hormones made my pre-existing brain injury much worse, giving me crippling weekly migraines, vertigo, and dizziness. I lost so much muscle mass that I developed severe joint pain. My physical health deteriorated, and I became anorexic, though no one believed me because I was obese. I practically starved.
I also experienced abuse within the trans community itself. I dated a trans man who was an emotionally abusive alcoholic, and I let an unstable, manipulative trans woman stay with me until I had to kick her out. The community never addressed these toxic and dangerous people; it was all about constant, uncritical positivity.
I started to realize it wasn't right for me when I kept delaying an orchiectomy (surgery to remove my testicles). I believed I wanted it because everyone else was doing it, but something in me kept putting it off. I also found that I was constantly doubting my transition. I was obsessed with traditionally masculine things like beard grooming and men's fashion, and trying to train my voice to sound feminine felt awkward and wrong. I was trying to force myself to be super feminine, but it never felt authentic.
I detransitioned at 31. Stopping estrogen was hell. My body went through a lot of changes. My chest atrophied, which was painful, and it shrank about half a cup size. My face and body remasculinized. My body fat shifted back to a male pattern, my body hair came back, my skin got oilier, and I started to smell like a man again. It took about six months for my testosterone levels to start building back up, and I still get hot flashes and worry that HRT may have permanently damaged my body’s ability to produce testosterone normally.
Since detransitioning, I’ve found a sense of peace I never had before. I no longer have to constantly worry about my gender or identity. I’m simply a bisexual man. My gender and sexuality are the most boring things about me now; I’d rather talk about my other hobbies and interests. I’ve learned to accept my body and embrace masculinity in a healthy way. I understand that being a man doesn’t make me an abuser and that it’s okay to be protective or emotional. I’ve reconnected with male friendships and really appreciate the camaraderie of ‘bro-ing’ out with other guys.
I have serious regrets about transitioning. It was a misguided attempt to solve deeper issues like PTSD, body dysmorphia, an eating disorder, and low self-esteem. The physical and mental health complications were severe, and the trauma from that time still affects me. I feel like I was failed by a system and a community that encouraged me to medicalize my problems instead of dealing with their root causes.
I don't think being transgender is a mental illness, but I am very critical of the current trans movement. I believe it can be a harmful echo chamber that doesn’t allow for critical thought and ignores the serious, permanent health consequences of medical transition. I also believe it often fails to protect vulnerable people from abuse within its own communities.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 29 | Started identifying as a transgender woman and began HRT (estrogen and anti-androgens). |
| 30 | Experienced severe mental and physical health decline, including hospitalizations for suicide attempts. |
| 31 | Stopped HRT and began detransitioning back to living as a male. |
Top Reddit Comments by /u/5nine8:
male detransitioner here I felt the same, my future seemed bleak and the percieved trans community wasnt really a community, O felt more alone and isolated then I ever had before.
I hope your doing well you looked great both ways, but if your healthier and happier now thats all that matters physical apperance only matters so much in terms of a persions well being
it was what I was born as and assigned at birth, I tried to escape that reality but it turns out estrogen, can make you deeply unstable mentally, and its just better to accept myself for who I am.
since detransitioning I have learned that being a male does not automatically mean you will be an abuser, and it is not something I should apologize for, I have learned to embrace masculinity and accept that it is okey to be attracted to women, and also feel protective of younger women as well, its simply in my nature to protect those who I see more as more vulnerable, now does it mean they are ? probably not and i keep that in mine, but still I am learning to embrace being a man.
In the end, embracing who I am and learning to accept my body, was what I really needed, I needed help with my past trauma and perception of being a man, I didnt have a positive male role, so perhaps in the future, I can be one to another boy who doesnt have that.
he is dead wrong.
there is life after detransitioning, and its all about finding yourself, for me it was learning to think for myself and form an identity away from what people thought was best for me, I needed to grow confident enought to say I am my own man and I will be who I want, and to hell what everyone felt was best for me
I did the opposite I went around saying how super feminine and girly I was despite really liking tradionally masculine things.
I started out trying to be super feminine but as time went on I became more futch until when I detransitioned and got of hormones I dropped all that and just accepted that Im a typical dude who likes typical male things.
its kinda been a bit of a shock to my freinds as I really did go around acting girly. its also rather embarressing, I really wasn't mentally stable then
its kind true with transwomen, especially the young ones, who can on one hand be really sweet and freindly, also be catty and frankly bitchy. I tried to be freinds with a some young transwomen and they just wouldn't have it.
I found transmen to be a lot freindler althought some can just be cold and aloof.
I'm in a similer situation, the group think is a real problem, and I refuse to get involved with the local lgbt group because of how bad my experiance was with them. like you a I have had a lot of trauma, and had major issues with my identity as a man and with masculinity. I also really struggled with being bisexual.
its unfortunate that detrans women are labeled as terfs- in my case, people will say I never actually was trans and that I am a bigoted white male. (no really I had a few people tell me that I don't actually know what being trans is like these people were women btw). its really annoying.
others call me a traitor or tell me I am an asshole, for criticizing the trans community.
this is probably the hardest part, I tried detransitioning twice, the first time I stopped because I was dating a trans man, who said he couldnt date a cis man, the second and final time, I found many of them distancing themeselves from me, Im treated as though I was never trans and a part of the local group, many of them avoid me or are aloof.
Ive also realized that many of them dont really want to hear about my detransition as it makes them uncomfortable, it frustrates me as it was recent and a signficant event but they dont want to hear it. those that do I have to be careful of what I say.
I mean Im not going to be incencitive its just I thought we were freinds or acquientences, and now its like I don't exist
dude, I know, I used to do muay tai and was going for persional training, however now I have a brain injury and have mobility issues and right now I have been on antibiotics for a week do to a broken tooth.
when I feel better I will start exercising but at this moment I'm healing and trying to take care of myself
yes thats tragically common and unsurprising
I was headed down that path with an orichectamy, lucikly I kept delaying it only to realize I actually did not want to do that to my body.
glad I did, because I was able to detransition back with my body naturally producing testosterone, there is also a good chance I am still fertile and can be a dad one day , which is what I really want now.
all that would have been taken away from me had i kept listiening to transpeople telling me how great it is to free from being " testosterone poisoned"
well I grew with around living with women that were sexually abused, I was also sexually abused and treated as an object of attraction by older women. keep in mind this was all before social media.
then in the last ten years feminism has started becoming increasingly misandrist, and its become populer to shame men for being men, or least it was pointed to hetersexual men...at first, although I am bi I only realized I was attracted to men when I was 26, and so I came out as gay, that label helped me to excape the idea that being a man= bad, its very funny how hostile women can be to me now, despite that fact that I was a real mysognist for a time, this all changed once I had my first serious relationship with a women.
the current enviroment for being a male, is just toxic, and its also gotten political, if you have conservative views, suddenly women, will treat you with great disdain, I've had women avoid me watch me suspiously or refuse to go on an elevator with me because Im wearing a patriotic shirt.
anyways this wasnt meant to be an antifeminist or anti women rant, but these were major reasions why I transitioned, I believed being a man was shameful, I had no healthy male relationships in my family, I needed to learn that being a guy is okey, hell it can even be fun especially when you bro out with other men.