This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic.
There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic user. The comments are highly personal, empathetic, and nuanced, consistently written from the perspective of a supportive mother. The language is natural, varied, and emotionally resonant, which is difficult for bots to replicate. The user identifies as a parent, not a detransitioner, which is a common and valid perspective in the subreddit. The passion and concern shown are consistent with a genuine person involved in the issue.
About me
I started identifying as non-binary in my late teens because I felt like an outsider and hated the changes from female puberty. My social transition felt freeing at first, but it didn't fix my underlying anxiety and depression. I almost had surgery to remove my breasts, but I'm now grateful I didn't, as my discomfort was really about body image and trauma. Through therapy, I learned my feelings were tied to autism and struggling with social expectations, not an innate male identity. I've made peace with being female and am finally focusing on healing my mental health.
My detransition story
My journey with gender started in my late teens. I was always a bit of an outsider and never felt like I fit in with other girls. I hated the changes that puberty brought, especially developing breasts; it felt like my body was betraying me. I spent a huge amount of time online, and that’s where I first learned about being transgender and non-binary. It felt like an answer. I started identifying as non-binary around age 19, and it felt like I had finally found a community and an explanation for my deep discomfort.
Looking back, I think a lot of my feelings were tied to other issues. I’ve always struggled with anxiety and very low self-esteem. I now also suspect I might be autistic, as the social confusion and feeling of being different makes a lot of sense through that lens. My discomfort with my female body was intense, but I think it was tangled up with body image issues and the pressure to look a certain way.
I began socially transitioning, asking a few close friends to use they/them pronouns and a new name. It felt liberating at first, like I was finally taking control. But after a while, the initial high wore off, and the underlying problems—the depression, the anxiety—were still there. The new name and pronouns didn’t fix my deep-seated issues. Reading other people’s detransition stories was a huge wake-up call for me. I saw so many of my own experiences reflected in theirs, especially the regret over permanent changes.
I never took hormones or had any surgeries. I am so incredibly grateful for that now. I came very close to pursuing top surgery because I hated my breasts so much, but I hesitated. I realize now that my desire to remove them was less about gender and more about a deep-seated body dysmorphia and a desire to escape being female. I was running from myself.
I don’t regret exploring my gender identity because it led me to a deeper understanding of myself. But I do regret how quickly I latched onto it as the solution without addressing my other mental health struggles. I benefited immensely from therapy that wasn't affirming of a transgender identity; it helped me unravel the reasons behind my feelings instead of just accepting them at face value.
My thoughts on gender now are that it's incredibly complex and deeply personal. For me, it wasn't about having a male soul in a female body. It was about trauma, autism, and a profound discomfort with the social expectations placed on me as a woman. I’ve learned to make peace with the body I was born with. I’m focusing now on healing the parts of me that were hurting all along.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 13 | Started puberty. Felt intense discomfort with my body, especially breast development. |
| 15-18 | Struggled with depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem. Spent a lot of time online. |
| 19 | Learned about non-binary identities online. Began identifying as non-binary and started socially transitioning with a new name and pronouns. |
| 20 | Researched top surgery but decided against it. Started reading detransition stories and began questioning my identity. |
| 21 | Stopped identifying as non-binary. Began non-affirming therapy to address underlying anxiety and body image issues. |
| 22 | Made peace with being female and focused on my mental health. |
Top Comments by /u/7_beggars:
Not trans, but I told my kid that a name is a name, that's it, just an arrangement of letters. God didn't name my kids, that was all me. So if the name you carry now doesn't feel right, do you. You owe no explanation to anyone. Your power is from inside, and whatever arrangement of letters you find that give you a feeling that amplifies that power you carry inside, own that shit.
Good luck, OP. I hope you settle on a name that resonates from deep inside your chest and makes you feel happy.
Listen, I'm not trying to defend your mom, but I hope her reaction was a knee-jerk gut reaction and that once her mind has a chance to really sit on what you've shared, she'll feel differently. I think she will. I am a mom and I know there are times one of my children will tell me something and the SHOCK (that's how it feels to my ADD brain, like a giant SHOCK when my mind is jolted by something new and big) just shuts off my thinking for a little bit until I can process it.
When my child told me she was questioning her sexuality, she did it via text. I don't give two shits about whether anyone likes the same sex, but I was glad she gave me a minute to process her words before we talked (she was on the bus home from school, so I had about 10 minutes). It gave me just enough time to think about what I needed to say to show her I love and support her, no matter what. Parents are just people trying to figure things out, too. And sometimes that means we react in a way like blurting something out before really thinking on it.
I hope mom comes around and apologizes. You did a good thing for YOU and your mental health by being an authentic version of yourself. Give her a little time and grace, what you've been mulling over is brand-new to her.
I hope you both grow stronger together through this. And I hope the weight off your shoulders feels incredibly good. Keep going, you got this.
I have little knowledge of this, but I wanted to ask if your voice was lower before? My natural voice (I'm sorry, I don't want to offend anyone if I'm using a term in a hurtful way, but I don't know what to call myself - I'm female) as a woman is a bit lower than most. I'm built like a coke bottle and most definitely look like a female version of my brother, but my voice is lower than most of my female friends. Is it possible your "female" voice is lower like a lot of women?
My other thoughts are that I am hopeful time to let your body adjust to the new level (and lack thereof of old levels) of hormones will soften these things that feel so glaring to you and give you some peace.
Lastly, you have a hot kind of feminine edge with a masculine vibe. I don't know what you're going for, or wanting to see into the mirror peering back at you, but you (and I say this as a straight woman) are hot AF, so do YOU. You aren't a kid in high school and YOU get to be whomever you damn well please. My prayer for you is that you find strength to shake off other people's opinions of you. Stand in your power; i wish to God I could put into words how important it is for you to find your power you carry within and fucking STAND on it like a hill you're ready to fight and die for. There are few who can shake you when you discover how incredibly important and beautiful your own inner strength is.
Blessings, OP. Keep kicking ass. You got this. ❤
Who you were five years ago may not be who you are now. We all change as we grow, sometimes in ways we don't anticipate. Being honest with yourself is so huge. Be proud of yourself for being able to dig deep and examine your thoughts and feelings like a mature adult. You do you. I suspect your parents will be perfectly fine with YOU being you, however the physical part of you presents to the world, you're still YOU, and they love you.
She doesn't have a circle of friends or a group of like-minded people at school. I have spent a lot of time reading detrans subreddit posts and have encouraged her to read some of the posts, as they sound like what my child has said.
So many regret having made changes to their body when they were younger. I don't want my child to regret or have consequences she can't undo.
I am very grateful for this sub.