This story is from the comments by /u/974713privacyname that are listed below, summarised with AI.
User Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the comments provided, the account appears authentic. The user shares detailed, personal experiences with dysphoria, transition, detransition, and the associated social and medical challenges. Their writing is nuanced, emotionally complex, and internally consistent over time, reflecting the passionate and often angry perspective common among many detransitioners. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic account.
About me
I was a very masculine girl who thought my body was wrong because I didn't fit society's idea of a woman. I transitioned to male for over a decade, taking testosterone and having surgery, but my underlying distress never really went away. A sudden realization that I could just be a masculine woman completely changed my perspective, and I detransitioned earlier this year. I now understand that my body was never the problem; the problem was the narrow box I was forced into as a female. I'm finally at peace, living as the same masculine person I've always been, but now I know I'm a woman.
My detransition story
My whole journey started with a deep discomfort that I thought was about being born in the wrong body. From a very young age, I was extremely masculine. I rejected dresses, loved getting dirty, and got into fights. My first word was “truck.” For a girl, this behavior was seen as wrong, but for a boy, it would have been perfectly normal. It felt natural to conclude that I was meant to be a boy, that I had a “boy brain” in a girl’s body. Puberty made everything worse. When my body started developing, I felt betrayed. It felt like my breasts and hips weren’t for me, but for some future baby. I saw boys getting stronger and freer, their bodies existing just for them, and I wanted that more than anything. I hated the idea of being seen as female because it came with so many negative expectations—being weak, docile, or just a baby-maker.
I started identifying as a trans man around 18. I was put on testosterone gel and, after a few years, I had top surgery to remove my breasts. I didn’t regret the surgery at the time; it felt like removing a huge barrier. But the dysphoria didn't go away. Right after the surgery, I developed an eating disorder, obsessively doing squats while I was still healing. The focus of my discomfort just shifted. The surgery also left me with serious nerve damage in my chest. For years, it was painful every day. Even now, the only sensation I have there is either nothing or pain.
For a decade, I lived as a trans man. But the entire time, there was a thought simmering under the surface: "Are we all just lying to ourselves?" I’d always shut it down because I believed that if trans women were real women, then I must be a real man. I deferred to that belief, trusting it more than my own doubts. Everything changed for me in less than an hour when I dared to seriously question if trans women were actually women. From that perspective, every argument I had used to prop up my own identity collapsed. I realized I wasn't a man. I was just a very masculine woman. I detransitioned socially earlier this year.
I don’t regret transitioning. I had severe dysphoria, and medical intervention did help alleviate it, even if it was an extreme and invasive solution. But I now see that the problem wasn’t my body; it was the rigid rules society has for what a woman can be. I was never a failed girl; I was just a masculine woman. We are meant to exist. My body exists for me, not for anyone else. Nothing about me is a mistake.
I never felt attracted to men in a way that felt right, and I confused my attraction to women for something else. I used to think that watching certain videos of women meant nothing, that I was just sexualizing them because society does. I now understand I’m bisexual, leaning towards women. I also struggled with feeling like my high-pitched voice was silly and unserious, but I see now that was because of bullying and misogyny, not because there’s anything wrong with how I sound.
Detransitioning didn’t change who I am. I still have a buzz cut, wear men’s clothes, and don’t wear makeup. The only difference is that I no longer think these things make me a man. I am a woman. I’m comfortable with that now. The jealousy I used to feel towards men has faded, especially as I see them start to bald and I feel proud of the strengths that come with being female. I overcame my self-hatred by accepting my limits and realizing that I was never the problem.
Here is a timeline of the major events:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Early Childhood | Extremely masculine behavior; rejected dresses and feminine things. |
| 13 | Shaved my head and was relentlessly bullied for it. |
| 15-16 | Applied for transgender healthcare. |
| 18 | Started testosterone gel after waiting due to bureaucratic delays. |
| Around 21 | Had top surgery (double mastectomy). Developed an eating disorder immediately after. |
| Around 24-25 | Stopped testosterone cold turkey. |
| 25 (Early 2024) | Socially detransitioned, telling friends and family I was no longer trans. |
Top Reddit Comments by /u/974713privacyname:
They need to see this as a minority of idiots, and not for what it is, which is the start of a wave. I think within 10-20 years this detrans demographic will swell like crazy. Straight women will realize gay men aren't actually going to marry them, that they want kids and have fucked up their ability to do so. Straight men are going to realize all the lesbians went underground and they are flock of sheep that's all wolves. Many people will be faced with the dilemma of either continuing on a path that won't ever make them happy to avoid the shame of "turning around", or quietly leave, hoping no one remembers what they did to detransitioners and vulnerable gnc children.
We're not a minority, we're just a start. Like if those 5000 bad reviews were all from the last week...
I don't think anyone is really trans, but the notion is very seductive in a society as rigid as ours. You're punished for being masculine as a girl... I shaved my head at 13 or so and was bullied RELENTLESSLY over it. I wore boy's clothes. No makeup. I only wanted to dance with the other girls when we had practice waltzing for prom. All of this was "wrong" for a girl to do. But... it was "right" for a boy! Boys DID do these things and it was OK. It was expected. Boys got into fights, I got into fights. Boys were dirty, I was dirty. Boys were hard to control, I was a god damn demon. Everything about me just MADE SENSE for a boy! For a girl, however, it was the wrong behaviour. I was some sort of failed girl child. It was very natural to draw the conclusion that I was MEANT to be a boy, somehow. That I actually was one, that I had a misplaced boy-brain. You COULDN'T be an unfeminine girl! Oh heavens no! A misplaced boy-brain, however, somehow more believable. And more conformist, too; I think transgenderism is entertained because you take nonconforming girls and turn them into conformist boys. You take nonconforming boys and turn them into conforming girls. Everything looks good on the surface! Masculine "men" and feminine "women". And we don't address why girls aren't free to run around and kick trees. Why boys can't wear lipstick. Why these are such horrible things that it's easier to believe a brain was misplaced than that girls can be violent and covered in mud. I ate sticks. Like....
Then also, if you're female, your whole life you're watched and weighed like meat. Hips tits ass. Boys leer at you and pinch you and you can't fight back because "girls don't do that". What was worst for me, more than anything, was hitting puberty and being told that all this was happening "for a baby". It was a disgusting idea, and I felt betrayed by my body... suddenly it wasn't mine, it belonged to some future baby. I was now a second class citized inside it. I grew detached from it, resented that it now existed for babies, not for me.
When boys had flat chests, made to feed no one. Slim hips made to run fast. They only got stronger, their bodies seemed to exist entirely for THEM, to serve them. Of course I wanted that freedom, being male, your body existing only for yourself. Being told breasts weren't for me, and hips weren't for me, I wanted a body that WAS. A male one.
None of that shit is true. Females can be rowdy and violent and shave their heads. Our bodies exist for us, not anyone else. They tell you breasts are for "attracting mates" but breasts are for you. They don't mean anything. They help regulate your hormone levels, maybe. Nothing about you is "meant" to be anything but what you are. You're not a mistake, a boy soul in a girl body. You're meant to be a masc girl. I am. I'm meant to be the girl I am, that beat the shit out of the boys that snapped our bras in grade 6. I used to bite them. Drew blood a couple times. That wasn't because I was a boy. I'm a girl that likes to fight. My first word was "truck" for christ's sake lmao.
I actually developed anorexia AFTER my top surgery, too. Like, the very week after. I started obsessively doing squats while i still couldn't lift my arms... the dysphoria doesn't go away, it's deeper. It shifts location. You will likely hate something else the moment the object of focus is gone. I also ended up with severe nerve damage in my chest. It feels like a black hole, 7 years later. For 4 years it was painful every single day. I couldn't even graze my nipples. While it doesn't always hurt now, the only sensation *available* in them is still pain. Either no pain, or pain.
Masculine women are meant to exist. We are not a mistake. We feel like we're not female, we don't WANT to be female, only because "being female" means being Not Ourselves. But nothing about you is at odds with who you are. You don't have to cut off parts of your personality to "be a girl". You don't have to cut off parts of your body to "be a boy". You will never be what society says a girl should be, and you will never be a boy because you aren't male. But being female, a girl, woman, doesn't actually prevent you from being anything. I will never wear a fucking bra. Why should I? It doesn't change who I am and it doesn't define me. I don't want to. Fuck that shit.
You can do whatever you want. You don't have to "be a man" to do it.
I would HEAVILY advise that you do not continue looking at this tumblr tag. Tumblr in general is sort of a wild west space, there is MUCH worse than this on there! You're way too young to go into this, like Indiana Jonesing it. I'm not going to mention some of the stuff you could see but be advised that many of these people's creepy ass fetishes started exactly this way: just browsing in horror. Don't psyop yourself
My original comment got removed for... offensive language? I'll try to rephrase it...
It's possible this is a fetishist. It looks mostly like someone on a power trip BUT. The detrans tag on tumblr is unusable for fetish content. "D*kebreaking" fetishists have overlap with detrans fetishists. Not uncommon. Probably block this person purely for that. Could be an edgelord could also be a guy getting off on the idea of detransition or surgery regret. I've seen them get off to worse...
I'll preface this by saying I don't believe in trans at all. Imo, your liking to dress fem now, means... nothing. It doesn't mean you're not trans. Neither did your liking masculine presentation mean you were a man. These are fully neutral characteristics, truly. A human being can like many things across their lifetime, many different types of clothes, sports, makeup, hobbies, modes of presentation. The core human being does not change. You do not have to "change" to enjoy these things that you now begin to enjoy.
I transitioned because the way I am, inherently, "made sense" if I was a boy. They did not "make sense" if I was a girl... I'm extremely masc, I had to be sewn into a dress for my kindergarten photo shoots. I've rejected femininity since early, early childhood. I still reject it, even after detransitioning; I still wear a buzzcut and men's clothes. Those things say nothing about me. I was always a masculine woman, I will always BE a masculine woman! If I decided to start wearing dresses and long hair tomorrow, it wouldn't change me. It wouldn't necessitate my changing *myself*, or my questioning who I was.
You enjoying femininity doesn't make you a woman. You enjoying masculinity doesn't make you a man. You don't have to be the gender where your presentation most "fits"; you're just YOU. If you are female, this is what you will always be, and you can be anything beyond that. Being "cis" isn't about conformity. It's just... I am detrans, I don't think it's accurate to call me "cis". But if I did, I'd say, being "cis" doesn't mean I have to be anything. Nothing about me dictates that I must wear those clothes or "be" that thing.
I just am. Just.... what I am.
You don't have to change, you never had to, really, all this is just... performance. Aren't you tired of performing" trying to decipher every trait of yourself for "the truth" of what you are?
You just.... are what you are. Nothing more to it. You're free. You can do whatever you want.
Yeah for real. They are hostile even to detransitioners who still believe in their genders! You could be the nicest detrans person who respects bun/bunself pronouns but you would still be hounded by some of them because YOU think YOU made a fucking mistake
Any group like that in practice exists for men. The purpose of the group, the moment a man enters, becomes to provide him with a context. Lesbian groups are lesbian until a male joins; then they are a group of lesbians that serve to validate and prop up this man's Identity. It is no longer a lesbian group.
Groups "for women" become centered around providing for transwomen the moment they change their rules to include them. Ffs the RADFEM sub on reddit doesn't allow Gender Critical/ "terf" thought. That is a co-opt if I EVER saw one. Women's spaces DO NOT survive male inclusion. They just don't.
To stay on topic for this sub: I think we have decent sex relations here. It's a mixed sex group that doesn't/hasn't yet coalesced a minority male leadership. If we're conscious of the future we can prevent this and give ourselves something like a 50/50 or proportional representation. But in the end as long as we allow right-wing platforms to choose from amongst us who they host to tell our stories, instead of platforming ourselves, we can't really control it.
We absolutely cannot let the trans community overtake our politics. The moment we do we have lost our right to dissect our own experience; we will be handed a Narrative that we MUST stick to or face apostacy. In a way that's already what happens in the other subs; a trans-controlled and approved story. "I was confused, and it just wasn't for me, but I'm SO rare I don't even matter and there should be no safeguards implemented because everyone but me is valid 100%". That's the only story permitted beneath the arm of the trans community. It would certainly not protect us to take such a shit deal lmao.
There is a version of yourself, invisible in the future, that is happy that you did not kill yourself. There is no version of yourself that is happy that you did. Do not snuff out all that could be because it hurts. It will not hurt forever.
This is survivable. This is surmountable. Listen more to the others than to me, I don't feel qualified to give good advice here, but I do not want you to be met with silence when you've reached out so I will speak. Attempting will just make... everything worse. Someone I know recently did and she's in renal failure now. There is only brutal suffering in that direction.
Do anything but that. Take care of something else if you don't want to take care of yourself. A pet, a houseplant? My dog saved my life.
Is there an ideal life you'd like to live? You don't have to work towards it, if it's too much. Just picture it, steal some happiness. I used to picture winning the swimming Olympic Gold when I was at my worst. I never will, but I stole happiness from that imagined moment when I needed it. Perhaps imagine publishing a book to huge success, or having 15 poodles. I don't know. But try to imagine things are good and see if that idea of a future isn't worth possibly living for. Take my Olympic Golds if you like.
I can relate to some of this. I never finished school and I never will; my application for "more time" was denied because I wasn't evaluated as "able to finish". Because, from age 16 to 19, all I could think about was my chest being Wrong.
I was completely inverted, like you, laser focused. I used to be an extremely sporty kid, I was second fastest swimmer in my class in grade 8; this INCLUDES competition with the males. Only one boy was faster than me. At 15. But chest dysphoria took all of that... no more sports, no more swimming no wrestling no gymnastics no track and field. Only chest. Only chest. Only chest. I needed that to go away, and THEN I could go back to who I used to be! If only I got the damn tits off. Then I'd be free and then I could LIVE. After I got rid of my breasts.
So my whole schooling, 16 to 19, I sat at my desk and ripped the pages of my notebooks into 1x1 cm paper squares. Packaged them in origami boxes made from notebooks. Stacked the boxes. I was so incapable of seeing anything but the barrier of MY CHEST that I spent what should have been my final, most important years of education: making fucking confetti.
Then I got the surgery and I did feel better immediately (though I developed an eating disorder the very week after the surgery lol). I started trying at school. But there wasn't any time left, I couldn't do 3 years of courses in one year. I didn't get to graduate and my application for more time was rejected. So, that was that. Lost out on so, so much.... because I could only see, feel, think about my chest. Never mind relationships, damn! I had one online friend at a time during this whole thing. Only one. No real life ones. Hated my voice too much to speak to people. Was convinced no one wanted to hear what I had to say, anyway; I'd been taught that by bullying in grade school. Transition, or more, dysphoria alleviation, was the ONLY goal I had. I suspended everything for that. Then I got it and it was too late for school, graduation, further education. I'm set aside now for a lifetime of being a societal outsider, because I didn't graduate... the equivalent of high school/college (I don't know which, my country doesn't use the same system). My job prospects are reduced to manual labour you don't need a degree for.
Because it was... impossible to do transition at the same time as other things. I think, this is a consequence of framing transition as "becoming your true self". Why do stuff as THIS person when you're going to become someone different anyways? What's it matter what Amy does, when the rest of your life will be Andrew? Like that. We're misled to believe we "pause" our lives, in a sense. Or we are so mentally ill it feels that way. Then you reach the goal, and realize, it wasn't paused, and i've lost all that time.
Also, I forgot: I never regretted anything either. I don't regret surgery or hormones. I just realized, one day, none of this made me a man. I'm a woman. And I'm still just the same as I was while I was trans. Detransition doesn't have to mean regret.