This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears to be authentic.
There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic user. The comments display a consistent, nuanced, and introspective personal narrative about questioning gender identity, which is characteristic of a real person's lived experience. The user identifies as a desister (someone who considered but did not medically transition) and their passionate, detailed, and sometimes conflicted perspective aligns with the expected discourse on the subreddit.
About me
I started thinking about becoming a woman a few years ago, drawn to the idea of looking feminine and being seen as female. I explored this socially with clothes and makeup, but through therapy, I learned to practice radical self-acceptance as a man with feminine interests. I realized my desire to transition was an escape from feeling like I had failed as a man and from my anxieties about dating. I now see that medically changing my body would have been a layer of performance, not a reflection of a true female identity. I'm grateful I didn't take hormones and am now on a path of learning to accept myself as I am.
My detransition story
My whole journey with thinking about transition has been confusing, and I’m still figuring it out. It started a few years ago with this persistent idea that I wanted to be a woman. It wasn't a life-or-death feeling, but more like a deep want, similar to how a kid might fixate on a future career.
For a long time, I believed that transitioning would solve things for me. I liked the idea of looking feminine, wearing makeup and wigs, and being seen as a woman in public. I enjoyed the thought of being called "she" and "her." I also had this romantic and sexual fantasy where I imagined myself as a woman in a loving relationship. I even had some laser hair removal and built up a huge wardrobe of women's clothes.
But through talking to a therapist, I started to dig deeper. She introduced me to the idea of "radical acceptance." For me, that meant repeatedly telling myself, "I am a man, I have feminine interests, and that's ok." I’d say it when I was relaxed, and it helped me feel calmer. It made me question if I wanted to transition because I actually had a female identity, or if it was about other issues.
I began to realize that a lot of my feelings were tied to feeling like I had failed as a man. I don't earn a lot of money, and I've always found it really hard to flirt with women I genuinely like. I think I started to adore them so much that I wanted to be them instead. There was also a sexual component; when I masturbated, I’d fantasize about being a woman, and that sometimes included curiosity about men, but only in the context of me imagining myself as female. My everyday interests, besides the makeup and clothes, are actually more common among men.
So, my view on gender now is that I was born male. I think if I had medically transitioned, it would have been like putting on a layer of femininity for my own happiness, not because I was fundamentally changing who I am. I don't regret exploring these feelings, and I don't regret the social aspects like dressing up, because they helped me understand myself better. But I am grateful I didn't start hormones or have surgery. I think I was using the idea of transition as an escape from my low self-esteem and anxiety about not measuring up as a man. For me, learning to accept myself as a man with feminine traits has been a more truthful path.
| Age | Year | Event |
|---|---|---|
| (Age not specified) | 2020 | First started seriously considering taking hormones. |
| (Age not specified) | 2022 | Was actively dressing in women's clothes, using wigs and makeup, and exploring presenting female in public. Began therapy and started practicing radical acceptance. |
| (Age not specified) | 2023 | Realized a primary motivation was a feeling of failing as a man and a desire to escape through fantasy. Confirmed no medical interventions were taken, only social exploration. |
Top Comments by /u/Aannanymous:
Transition is a tempting mistress to me. When I was talking to my therapist, she actually mentioned radical acceptance. As far as our sessions went, it's repeatedly telling yourself something. My phrase is " I am a man, I have feminine interests, and that's ok" and she told me to relax and tell myself that repeatedly.
Now idk if it works because I put myself in a calm state or if it helps me realign my life.
Just wanted to hear you elaborate more about what radical acceptance means and how it works for you.
Hi I'm also born male. I have been questioning if I should transition myself but I only dress up feminine and put on wigs n makeup.
First of all, people tend to know if they want something if they take action. Crying before you sleep wont help with that unfortunately, so maybe before you sleep or even throughout the day write down what you think being a woman means to you.
For me, it's being feminine looking feminine and such. So I worked on attaining things that can help me with my goal so I bought regular women's clothes, makeup and a nice wig so that I can go out and about.
Second, you won't be a girl....sorry but I just find it funny for trans people who are 20+ still refer to themselves as girls....like y'all are grown women lol
So yeah, try to boil down what it means for you. It could be superficial like me, it could be sexual, it could be you repressing yourself in some way...I don't know. I hope you can share here or even better, with a therapist.
I'm a questioning male who is considering taking hormones, not so much because of ideation of suicide, but it's been something I've wanted for a long time. Kinda similar to how kids have an idea of what career they want to pursue.
What can you share your transition had solved/ didn't solve?
Yes I can sense there's no hate from you, just a person trying to see what's best for someone else.
No I have not received medical intervention so no HRT or surgeries. Just some laser sessions and a full closet or two full of women's clothes 🤣
Apart from makeup and window shopping, most of my interests lean where it's mostly men who participate.
I kinda feel like I failed as a man because I don't earn much, Ive also found it hard to flirt with women who I genuinely adore. Maybe adore so much that I would rather be one. I have had some curiosity with men, mostly when I'm masturbating and romanticizing being a female so I look straight and what I prefer my outer self to look like.
I kinda think the same way as the person you're replying to, but I don't necessarily always do it for kinks. I more so do it because I like imagining that I am the female in a loving relationship romantically and sexually. I like presenting as female in public and being called sheer/her/woman. I would want to have the physical features of a woman.
Despite this, I fully accept that I am born male and if I did transition I would effectively be putting on a layer of femininity for my own happiness and not necessarily change how I am born as.