A lot of detransitioners and desisters are radical feminists, because the radical feminist understanding of gender roles, misogyny, and homophobia can be really helpful for figuring out where your dysphoria comes from.

I’m a woman with dysphoria. I thought I was trans and had a “male brain” early in my recovery from heroin addiction, because I was looking for any kind of escape from the mess I made of my life. I’ve always had traditionally masculine interests (I’m an engineer), I’m socially awkward, and I’ve had dysphoria related to my breasts since I hit puberty, largely thanks to my Muslim upbringing. Reading up on radical feminism made me realize that my reasoning for thinking that I was a man was due to internalized misogyny.

Transgender ideology tells you that your body is wrong, radical feminism tells you that society is wrong.

I do view gender and sex as separate.

So, I’m a communist. I think gender is bourgeois ideology that exists to exploits women’s reproductive labor, and to enforce a sexed division of labor between men and women.

People are raised from birth to think that men are supposed to be dominant breadwinners, and that women are supposed to be sexy and submissive.

I thought I was trans when I was going through a really bad point in my life, early in recovery from addiction and an abusive relationship while unemployed. I saw it as the one piece that would finally fix me and make me normal. When I thought I was trans, I saw all my GNC behaviors as more proof that I had a male brain - I’m an engineer, have always had more guy friends, and not very feminine. I have very strong dysphoria around my breasts, thanks to being raised by Muslim parents. More recently I realized that part of the reason I wanted to be a man is because I wanted a real, emotional relationship with my dad.

Gradually I lost interest in transitioning when my mental health improved and I got a job.

I think most people who think they’re trans or nb are just GNC, neurodivergent, and have trauma. I think encouraging people to transition instead of figuring out where their mental health problems and dysphoria comes from is dangerous, especially now that the number of people transitioning has exploded. I see it as a form of escapism - shouldn’t we critically examine where these feelings are coming from, and how they’ve been shaped by patriarchy? The focus is on fixing individual bodies to fit society, rather than ending gender roles all together.

Honestly i don’t really see it heading this direction. I think all the trans charities with huge amounts of funding will keep detransition stories out of the news for the most part, then it will blow up into something they can’t keep quiet anymore and become a huge scandal.

Just look at how pharmaceutical companies that manufacture opiates managed to keep addiction quiet until the last couple years.

Oh hello! It was actually an article you wrote that sparked this post. Lol. You mentioned something about women who've desisted identifying as femme, butch, or actively being repulsed by the idea of identifying as anything at all.

It's funny, I feel like I can't even convey to my friends my feelings about gender. My point is not just that my feelings about my identity are complexly influenced by society...my point is also that it's a weird effect of consumerist capitalism to think about this stuff so much, and I'm weirdly embarassed I ever thought this way at all.

It’s male entitlement wrapped up as something progressive.

Look at mypartneristrans - so many of the women who post there are clearly in abusive relationships, but they want to be a good feminist so they feel obligated to stay with their MTF partner.

Have you thought about why you prefer being called by female pronouns and would prefer a female body?

Part of the reason I thought I was a trans guy was because I liked being gendered as male online, and I loved it when guy friends told me they saw me as more of a guy friend than a female friend. Later I realized that the reason I liked being gendered as male was because of internalized misogyny - if someone thought I was male online, or saw me as a male friend, it meant they took me seriously and respected me. I thought that if someone saw me as a woman, that meant they saw me as some ditzy airhead.

I can’t answer this question for you, but maybe start with looking at traditional gender roles of masculinity and femininity. Have you ever felt like you don’t measure up to being a masculine guy, and all the cultural baggage that comes with (being aggressive and assertive, etc)?

Why are you here if you’re not a detransitioner and you aren’t interested in learning about why so many reidentified/detransitioned people are gender critical? It doesn’t seem like you’re interested in listening or being supportive.

Radical feminism helped me understand how patriarchy and my Muslim upbringing led me to hate my body. It helped me understand why I thought I had a “male brain” and why I struggled with feeling out of place around gender conforming women. Sex is material, gender roles are bourgeois ideology. Telling the truth isn’t toxic just because you don’t want to hear it.

Meditation and getting into feminist spirituality/witchcraft.

The human brain is weird. I’ve found that ritual and constructing a personal narrative of your trauma and struggles is incredibly healing. That’s my modernist/communist take on what it is I’m doing, but I also think there’s more to it that I don’t have a rational explanation for.

Meditating on different ideas has also helped me do some sort of self-therapy, figuring out how I can resolve things that used to upset me.

It’s honestly been much more effective than any other therapy I’ve tried.

I used to think I was a trans guy when I was going through a lot of mental health problems, early in recovery from addiction and an abusive relationship. I lost interest because I read that testosterone makes your hair fall out 🤣

I knew at least part of the reason were societal definitions of manhood/womanhood, but recently I realized my dysphoria also came from trauma caused by my parents (especially my dad). I grew up in a relatively “progressive” Muslim family, so I was somewhat in denial about how much my parents body shaming affected me and how controlling they were. They’ve never asked me to wear a hijab, but my dad would yell at me any time I wore shorts, and my mom would make comments about my breasts or if she thought I was wearing a shirt where “the neck is too big”.

On top of that, I’ve never had a real relationship with my dad because he’s always been pretty verbally and emotionally abusive, so I would seek out emotional intimacy with men. I thought I was bisexual, but it turns out I’m not sexually attracted to men at all, and I just convinced myself I was because I thought I “owed” my parents a marriage. Subconsciously, I thought that if I had been born a son, I would have had a real relationship with my dad.

I only realized the role that trauma played in my dysphoria in the past week. I thought I was trans three years ago. So it might be a good idea to think about how your relationship with your parents (and your history with trauma) may have affected your desire to transition.

I’m going to detransition. I know I can't undo my mistakes but at least I can start being honest with myself.

I think this is actually a really healthy mindset to have.

I never transitioned medically but I did socially transition. I started thinking I was trans when I was in recovery from addiction and an abusive relationship that almost ruined my life. I gradually lost interest when I stopped isolating myself.

When I first got into radical feminism, i thought that I had decided that I was trans for attention. Now, I can see that I had a lot of emotional problems that were a result of trauma and emotional neglect from my parents. On some level I understood that my dysphoria was due to internalized misogyny (my family is Muslim and subconsciously I thought my parents would love me more if they had a son), but I didn’t really understand how deep these feelings went and how much they affected my decision making in every aspect of my life. I thought I was trans three years ago and I’m still figuring out where these feelings came from.

If I can offer any advice, I wouldn’t be so quick to dismiss the feelings that led you to believe you were trans as just “doing it for attention”. That want for external validation comes from something deep-seared and real. Stuff to think about:

1. What is your relationship with your parents like? Growing up, were they supportive of you unconditionally? Do you feel comfortable talking to them about personal failures?

2. What were your parents’ attitudes towards sex? Towards women?

3. Look up childhood emotional neglect and CPTSD and see if the symptoms relate to you.

Hope this helps.