This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a fake account.
The user's story is highly detailed, emotionally nuanced, and consistent over a four-year period. They discuss a wide range of personal, medical, and social aspects of detransitioning, including deeply specific and evolving feelings about their mastectomy, voice, relationships, and self-image. The language is natural, with personal asides, self-doubt, and a clear progression in their perspective from distress to a degree of acceptance. This complexity is very difficult to fake convincingly over such a long time.
About me
I started transitioning as a teenager because I was an uncomfortable girl who hated puberty and wanted to escape being feminine. I easily got testosterone and top surgery, but later realized my problem was with stereotypes, not being female. I stopped hormones and now live with a flat chest and a deeper voice. I’ve learned to accept my androgynous body as a woman who doesn’t need to fit a box. I’m now in a loving relationship and finally finding peace with my past decisions.
My detransition story
My whole journey with transition and detransition has been a long and complicated one, and I'm still figuring things out. It started when I was a teenager. I was really uncomfortable with my body, especially when I went through puberty and developed breasts. I hated them. I felt like I was an ugly girl who didn't fit the feminine stereotype at all, and I think I transitioned to escape that role. Taking on a male role instead felt like a way out.
I was able to get on testosterone and have top surgery as a teenager. It was surprisingly easy in my country. I knew a friend in high school who got a prescription for testosterone after just one appointment. For top surgery, all you needed was a letter from your parents. There wasn't any real exploration of why I felt the way I did. I remember one therapist even told me he felt pressured not to question teens about their choice to transition because it would be seen as transphobic by his peers.
For a while, living as a guy felt like the solution. But the doubts started creeping in later. I began to realize that my discomfort wasn't really about being the wrong gender, but about not fitting into society's narrow idea of what a girl should be. I was trying to escape being an "ugly and non-feminine girl." I started to regret the permanent changes I had made to my body.
Telling people I was doubting my transition was terrifying, especially my parents who had supported me through it all. I was so afraid of worrying them. I was also really scared about how I would ever look "normal" again in my eyes or in others'. I put off discussing a hysterectomy with my endocrinologist, and I'm so relieved now that I did. The emotional impact of realizing what I had done was huge and put me in an extremely bad place. Detransitioning was much harder than transitioning had been.
I've had to come to terms with the irreversible changes. I had a double incision mastectomy with no nipple graft, so my chest is completely flat. I stopped testosterone, but I'm left with a deeper voice and more body hair. My voice sometimes cracks or feels weak now. I get gendered male or female about 50/50 by strangers, and I've learned to accept that I look and sound androgynous. For a long time, I felt like my body wasn't an adult female body and that I wasn't "worthy" of trying anything feminine.
But my perspective has slowly changed. I've worked on self-acceptance. I look at pictures of other flat-chested women, both from mastectomies and naturally, and it helps me see that my body type isn't abnormal. I've grown my hair out and I wear what I want, which is usually androgynous clothes like hoodies and sweatpants. Sometimes I wear more feminine things like crop tops or bralettes. I've even bought some small prosthetics to experiment with having curves sometimes. I legally changed my name back to my original female name because it's very common and it felt like making peace with the girl I was before.
Dating was a big fear of mine. I thought no straight man would ever be interested in a woman with a flat chest and a deep voice. But that hasn't been my experience at all. I've had more dating opportunities now than I did when I lived as a trans guy. I'm currently in a long-term relationship with a straight man who loves me and doesn't have a problem with my chest or my voice at all. His reassurance has helped my self-esteem so much.
I don't regret everything, but I do have regrets about the medical interventions. I regret that I had top surgery for what I now see were the wrong reasons. I miss my breasts sometimes, but I don't think I want reconstruction surgery. I'm too young to make that kind of big decision again and I'm afraid of losing all sensation. I've had a tiny bit of natural breast regrowth since stopping testosterone, which is soft and feels like breast tissue, but it's very minimal.
My thoughts on gender now are that it's okay to not fit into a box. I'm a woman, but I don't have to be feminine. I can have a flat chest, a deep voice, body hair, and still be a woman. The pressure to conform to stereotypes is what hurt me in the first place. I'm learning to be at peace with myself and the consequences of my past decisions without feeling like I need to change my body yet again to fit another ideal.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 14 | Started socially transitioning to male. |
| 15 | Began testosterone therapy. |
| 16 | Underwent top surgery (double mastectomy). |
| 19 | Began to seriously doubt my transition and regret my surgery. |
| 20 | Stopped taking testosterone. |
| 22 | Legally changed my name back to my original female name. |
| 24 | Now; in a stable relationship and working on self-acceptance. |
Top Comments by /u/AbsolRiatun:
Though I transitionned as a teen I got the exact same things told to me as you. It sucks I feel you and you have every right to be angry :( Weirdly the only doctor who understood that anger was the therapist who allowed me to take T/have surgery. Basically he told me he is pressured to not question teens about their choice to transition cuz that would be labelled as transphobic by his peers. So I believe people who say stuff like "you wanted it" have the same way of thinking?
I feel you. What helped me is looking at flat chested girls (by mastectomies or just naturally that way) who post their ouftits on IG. It really helps realizing we are not a totally abnormal body type, and that a flat chest is in no way preventing us to be pretty !
I agree with you. For his defense he told me I was the first who said I regretted it after being transitionned post surgery (He's been dealing with trans teen for around 7 years iirc) but he agreed with me when I told him I find it dangerous giving T to 14yo without any kind of psychological following :/ He keeps doing it but told me he'd like to make things change (go slower) and make it seen as acceptable to ask teen to go see a therapist before changing anything to their bodies. Too bad he's thinking about it now and not when he sarted his job eh...
You're right. I'm actually relieved I told my endocrinologist to wait before discussing hysterectomy/bottom surgery. Time can heal some things but I'm afraid I can never forgive myself or come back to looking normal in my eyes and in other's? Any way, thank you for the positive point of view I really appreciate it.
I agree with the first comment. I guess it could also be to compensate the effects of hormones/surgery. Due to my voice/chest I know I can be read as female if I make some efforts to be gender conforming, and mostly read as male if I don't. It was easier to be gnc when I still had these female features cuz people would see me as a masc girl, not a guy.
As the other comment said it is also mostly seen as unnattractive. I don't want my bf being ashamed or less attracted to me because of that...
I still really enjoy presenting gnc tho, it's just not the easiest.
Oh yeah i talked about emotional impact more in the negative sense than positive lol! I never heard of that "re-map" thing, that actually makes sense thanks for the advices! And that's nice if you found the next steps you want to make for yourself! I'm personally not thinking about it for now... Like if surgery hurt me in the first place I don't see myself going through it a second time or not before a loooonng time :') I'm not even presenting female or anything (which is another point that scares me tons). As you say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger but I'm at that point where idk if i will/want to live through it... Thank you very much for your answer
I relate a lot to your comment ! When the time of detransition and grief is passed it just becomes a new normal.
So less reason to spend a lot of time in detrans spaces since it's mostly behind us. I guess that's why OP sees people disappear from here, it's more of a positive than a negative actually.
Personally I use light bralettes if I need a female underwear, they're much more comfortable than bras and they're embrace my flat chest pretty well ! There's (removable) cups in most of them that could help with the nipple problems you're having ?
Different solution but I guess some kind of nipple stickers exist to not have them show through fabric ?
Thank you very much for your answer! I have no idea what OCD is so i'll look into that! I dont have a therapist but if im talking about this to my appointement tomorrow im wondering if the doctor would ask me to see one... The thing is that i'm really afraid to worry my parents... They supported me through my whole transition so telling them "id like to see a therapist cuz i'm doubting the transition you helped me achieve" sounds terrifying to me
Yes ! It's an extremely common female name so it does not create much doubt when I introduce myself. I knew it would make my parents happy that I take it back, and to me it felt like making peace with the girl I was before transition and give it a new meaning? My chosen name was 100% masc anyway. It still took like 3 years before I made the change back legally lol.