This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags indicating it is a bot or an inauthentic actor.
The user demonstrates:
- Personal experience with detransition (e.g., specific medical and social advice).
- Consistent, nuanced viewpoints that evolve in conversation.
- Emotional investment in the community's dynamics and moderation.
- A distinct personality and opinion (e.g., criticizing both gender-critical activists and certain trans activists).
The passion and criticism present are consistent with a genuine detransitioner's perspective.
About me
I was born female and started identifying as non-binary in my late teens because I felt uncomfortable with the expectations for women. I began taking testosterone and eventually had top surgery, living as a man for years because I thought it was the solution to my anxiety. After a while, I grew tired of the constant struggle and realized that simply living as a woman made my life much easier. I’ve since detransitioned and now see that my discomfort was more about social pressure and growing up than a true need to change my body. While I don't regret the journey, I wish the medical process had encouraged more honesty instead of just giving me what I thought I wanted.
My detransition story
My whole journey with transition and detransition was complicated, and looking back, I see a lot of things differently now. I was born female, but I never felt like I fit in, especially when I was younger. I started out identifying as non-binary because it felt like a way to explain the discomfort I felt with the expectations placed on me as a woman. That discomfort was real, but I think a lot of it was just the general awkwardness of puberty and growing up. I had a lot of anxiety and low self-esteem, and I found a lot of community and answers online that pointed me toward transition.
I ended up taking testosterone. I’ll be honest, in the beginning, it felt like an anti-depressant. It gave me a boost and made me feel more confident. I also hated my breasts and was desperate to get rid of them. I got top surgery, which at the time felt like a huge relief. I was living as a man for about four years. But the process to get hormones and surgery felt like a game. There was so much pressure to say the right things to the doctors at the gender clinic. I remember there were guides online about what to say to get a diagnosis, and I definitely felt that panic to fit the mold so I could get the treatment I thought I needed.
After a few years, things started to change for me. I got tired of sticking out. I realized that living as a trans man was a constant struggle. I was tired of the fight. I came to see that broadly adhering to gender roles, just being seen as a woman, made life much easier. It’s not that I suddenly cared deeply about what people thought; it was about not going out of my way to make my life more difficult for reasons I didn’t care about anymore. I felt like I’d been given a gift to live life on "easy mode" and focus on more important things after years of struggle.
When I decided to detransition, I had to come off hormones carefully. I learned you can't just stop cold turkey. The fat on my face and body redistributed back, and while most of the breast tissue from testosterone disappeared, I was left with a small amount that would need minor surgery to remove, not a full mastectomy. It took about six months for some facial hair stubble to start coming back, but it’s not a full beard.
My thoughts on gender now are that it’s largely about social conformity. For me, transitioning was a form of rebellion, but I don’t have the energy for that rebellion anymore. I think revolution is a young person's dream. There's nothing wrong with living on the fringes if you're happy, but I found more peace in fitting in. I don’t think I had true dysphoria. I think I was an anxious, depressed person who found an explanation and a solution online that wasn’t right for me in the long run.
Do I have regrets? It's complicated. I don't regret the journey because it led me to where I am now, and I learned a lot about myself. But I do regret not having a more honest and less strict diagnostic process. If I could have been more open with the doctors without fearing I'd be denied care, maybe I would have figured things out sooner. I also regret the permanent changes, like the surgery scars. I have to frame my past when dating or meeting new people as an "embarrassing phase" I went through when I was younger, and thankfully, if you’re confident about it, most people don’t make a big deal.
Here is a timeline of the major events:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Late Teens | Started identifying as non-binary due to social discomfort and anxiety. |
| Early 20s | Began taking testosterone and started living full-time as a man. |
| Mid 20s | Underwent top surgery. |
| Around 25 | Began the process of detransition, stopping hormones. |
| 25-26 | Lived through the physical and social process of detransitioning back to living as a woman. |
Top Comments by /u/AdditionalArtichokes:
It's exhausting and utterly pathetic to see people who are clearly lurkers (or have stopped posting since the rule change - not naming anyone) trawling through threads looking for things to downvote. They all treat this sub like their personal validation space, it's disgusting. I'm beginning to think allies should be banned from participating in the sub altogether.
It happens sometimes and I'm used to it now to be honest, I've noticed that nothing I post seems to be controversial to desisters, questioners or detransitioners so it's very easy to come to a conclusion on where the downvotes are coming from. I feel genuine pity for these people.
All detransitioner's voices are valid, but I've never met a single detrans man or trans woman that openly claims to be an MRA or hold incel-aligned views.
Looking back through your post history you seem to be an effeminate, detrans, pro-Trump, Christian anti-Islam MAGA-type. Perhaps this is why detransition has made you think this way, gender roles and sexism being deeply entrenched in these social circles.
I hate to be "that guy" but liberal circles are far more likely to be full of people that will be cool with you.
Even as a fairly vocal GA member of this sub its still better than having non detransitioners decide what I can and can't talk about.
I assume this is a direct criticism of r/actual_detrans and it's a pertinent one. Spaces for minorities should 100% not be run by people trying to silence those minorities. Disabled subs should not have able mods, BAME liberation subs should not have white mods, Trans subs should not have cis mods, Detrans subs should not have trans mods.This point isn't even up for discussion - the responses to some of OP's posts are flat out anti-detrans activism dressed up as a concern.
Has there been a staggering amount of transphobia on this board in the past? Sure.
Has that changed recently? Yes.
Does that justify taking away the voices of a disadvantaged minority? No.
This isn't GenderCritical, LGBdroptheT or itsafetish, it's a support sub. The push to close it rather than amend it to be more suitable for questioners is only coming from one place and they're deluded if they think we can't see it just because they start attacking posts with "it's sad to see what's happened but..."
As a detransitioner I think offering words of support or encouragement is fine.
Reading between the lines this seems to be a broad way os saying don't respond to people's traumatic questions about how to reclaim their life with "stop watching porn" as though it were useful or warranted advice. If you're not the sort of person that would do that I'd imagine your instincts for interaction in threads are probably fine.
Sorry but then it's maybe time to stay away from the internet or the sites that stress you out. It's also possible to create thicker skin so you don't feel so stressed reading something you disagree with.
This is a vile response to post in a support sub.
Most of your breasts will disappear as fat tissue redistributes. There'll be some small breast tissue but you can get rid of that with gyno surgery, a full mastectomy isn't usually required.
IME if you look like a man, tell people after a couple of months you "went through a phase" and explain it's in the past it's pretty much 50/50 whether or not they care. It's the same with transitioning around people who know you - they'll never see you as the opposite sex. The same works with dating, if you get to know someone as a man they generally won't see you as a woman. If you click with someone it's just an "embarrassing anecdote". It's all in the framing. I usually just tell people I went through a crazy gender rebel phase when I was younger and play it from there, make sure you're laughing at yourself at the time.
Most of it is down to confidence, T is an anti-depressant and E has anxiolytic effects, your quality of life (assuming you don't have dysphoria) and mental health will improve drastically in the coming months. You're still in "trans dating" mode and as you detransition you'll realise your dating pool has expanded by a million percent.
Don't redpill, masculinity isn't what they think it is and doesn't attract people. The biggest player I know is an effeminate lawyer.
Because broadly adhering to gender roles on autopilot is much easier than doing anything else and I was tired of sticking out like a sore thumb like I did when I was transitioning. I've been given a gift to live life on easy mode and concentrate on more important things and frankly after the struggle of the last 4 years I'm taking it.
I've been alive for a while now and when you've worn a lot of faces you realize how much easier fitting in with the people around you makes life. It's not about caring what people think - it's about not going out of my way to make life more difficult for reasons that I don't care about any more.
Honestly? A much less strict approach to diagnosis at the GIC. The panic to fit the mold to get the diagnosis to actually get HRT is very real, there are guides to what to say all over the internet. Had the process been less strict and demanding I would have been able to be more honest with them.