This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic.
The user's narrative is highly specific, emotionally raw, and internally consistent. It details a complex personal journey involving trauma, regret, ADHD, religious exploration, and social ostracization from a specific political group. The language is natural, with self-reflection and casual phrasing ("lol," "lil") that feels genuine. The passion and anger expressed are consistent with the experiences of many real detransitioners and desisters.
About me
I started taking testosterone because I was deeply unhappy and thought it was the answer, but it gave me terrible brain fog that destroyed my creativity and focus. My journey led me back to spirituality and then Christianity, where I realized I needed to learn to love the body I was born with instead of changing it. I've been off testosterone for a year, but my concentration hasn't returned, and starting estrogen again has made the brain fog even worse. I regret transitioning because I was running from my problems and trauma instead of facing them. I'm now trying to let go of my fear and paranoia to focus on healing and building my confidence.
My detransition story
My whole journey with transition and detransition has been tied up with a lot of pain, trauma, and finally, a search for who I really am. Looking back, I think a lot of my initial desire to transition came from a place of deep unhappiness and not fitting in, rather than a true identity. I was really involved in leftist and trans activist circles, and that environment definitely influenced me. For a long time, that was how everyone knew me.
I started taking testosterone, and for a while, I thought it was the answer. But over time, I started experiencing really bad brain fog. I used to be creative—a musician—but I lost all of that. I couldn't focus on movies, books, or even finish a song. The guilt and regret about transitioning started to build and build, and my ability to concentrate just got worse and worse. I’ve been off testosterone for about a year now, and my focus hasn’t really come back. I also have ADHD, which I think was made a lot worse by the stress of everything. I recently started taking estrogen again, and the brain fog has been the worst it's been in a while. I think the whole process of transitioning and now detransitioning is a traumatic experience, and my brain is just shutting down to protect itself while I try to process it all.
A big part of my healing has been through religion and spirituality. I was raised Christian but became an atheist for a long time. After my ex passed away, I felt her presence so strongly that I knew there had to be something more. I became very spiritual during the pandemic, meditating and getting into crystals, and eventually, I found my way back to Christianity, though with a more gnostic perspective. It was through getting in touch with my true inner self that I finally saw how unhappy I was and how much I regretted transitioning. I felt terrible for changing the body God gave me instead of learning to love myself as I was. I started praying for forgiveness, and it felt like I was led directly to detransition communities online. It was like my hand was moving the mouse by itself. I had been in a really dark place, feeling completely alone and ready to end my life, and finding others who felt the same way I did gave me hope for the first time.
A lot of my regret also comes out in small ways, like trying to use dating apps. I was on there looking for validation, and I got unmatched by a couple of guys who probably thought I was a trans woman. It sent me into a spiral, but I realized it was just my old trauma from leftist circles, always worrying about what people would think of me. I had made a post on Twitter announcing my detransition before deactivating my account, and I was paranoid about people from my past seeing me on an app as a woman. But I’m trying to let that go and just focus on making friends and building my confidence.
I do regret transitioning. I think I was running from myself, and I used transition as a way to escape my problems and trauma instead of facing them. My thoughts on gender now are that it’s more important to find peace with who you are fundamentally, rather than trying to change your body to fit an idea. For me, that path was through spirituality.
Here is a timeline of the main events:
Age | Event |
---|---|
(Age not specified) | Started taking testosterone. |
(Age not specified) | Stopped taking testosterone. |
(Age not specified) | Started feeling intense guilt and regret about transition; creativity and focus declined severely. |
(Age not specified) | Became spiritual, then returned to Christianity, which led to realization about regretting transition. |
(Age not specified) | Started taking estrogen again. |
Top Comments by /u/Adorable-Setting962:
I was raised Christian then considered myself atheist til my ex passed and I knew there was something cause I felt her with me all the time. I became very spiritual at the beginning of the pandemic, meditation, crystals, etc. Eventually I came back to Christianity, although through a more gnostic lense. and it wasn't until getting more in touch with my true inner self that I started realizing how unhappy I was and how much I regretted transitioning. I felt so bad for messing with the body God gave me instead of learning to love and accept myself the way I am. So I started praying for forgiveness. and I was led right to this group, almost like my hand was moving my mouse and typing without me even really thinking about it. I just kinda ended up here and on youtube channels. I had been feeling so alone and had drifted from all my former friends because they're really intense and extreme leftist TRAs. and I was feeling hopeless cause I was like what's the point if everyone's so awful. I fell into a really really dark place and was ready to take my own life before I started praying. and then all of a sudden I found myself in the middle of a growing movement of people who all (or mostly) think the same way I do. I wasn't alone anymore, and for the first time I actually felt hope.
Religion and spirituality are, or are supposed to be, pathways leading you to your true self. So it makes sense a lot of people find their way and their truth through various religious and spiritual teachings.
I read this earlier but was still in a bad headspace so I wanted to wait to get some food in me to properly reply lol
I took your advice and took FtMtF out. I'm from a small town where for a long time I was pretty deeply involved with leftism and trans activism and that's generally how most people knew me. Then like a week ago I made a quick post on Twitter saying I was detransitioning just in case anyone ran into me in person then I deactivated a few days later. So I think I was worried if I started showing up on dating apps as a woman people would be like wtf. But honestly most of the people I'm seeing on there aren't even from that scene and probably either don't know me or we went to school together before I transitioned and probably don't remember me. and either way I guess it doesn't matter. Just leftover trauma from leftist circles and always worrying what people are gonna think of me. But most people are just normal people who probably don't even have Twitter lol.
Thank you for this though. It definitely helped me feel better.
Yeah now that I've had some food and settled down a little, I think I was definitely just seeking validation by wanting to get matches. I'm gonna focus on finding friends and working on myself. I think all my repressed trauma and guilt from the past decade is coming up at the same time and making me lose my mind a lil.
yeah I think that's probably what happened, I got unmatched by two random straight cis men who most likely thought I'm a trans woman or something. You're right though I'm definitely gonna work on my confidence. I see now I was just seeking validation cause all these feelings I've repressed are coming up and it's overwhelming but I shouldn't feed that energy
I feel this. I was always really creative and a good student and definitely have had a lot of brain fog since starting T, but I think it might have to do with stress and trauma causing dissociation. I was a musician, but the past like year as my guilt and regret over transitioning have been coming out more and more I haven't even been able to finish a song. I have no focus, no interests left like movies, books, music, or video games cause I can't focus. I've been off T for like a year and find my focus has only gotten worse. I also have adhd but don't take medication for it anymore. its probably things stressing you out, such as detransitioning, thats making your adhd worse. I'm on day 4 of estrogen now and my brain fog is the worst it's been in awhile so it might be the hormones, but transitioning and detransitioning can be very traumatic experiences so it makes sense that our brains are shutting down to protect us as we process and grow through this.