This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic.
There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor. The comments display a consistent, nuanced, and deeply personal narrative of detransition, including the emotional turmoil, ideological shift, and the specific process of questioning core beliefs. The language is complex and reflective, not repetitive or scripted, which is typical of a real person sharing a lived experience. The passion and anger expressed are consistent with the genuine harm and stigma detransitioners can face.
About me
I was a teenager when I became certain I was a man trapped in a woman's body, and I held onto that belief for over a decade. My journey involved taking testosterone and having top surgery, which I thought would fix my deep discomfort with puberty and my body. I eventually realized my feelings were tied to other issues like depression and internalized homophobia, not a need to be male. Letting go of that ideology was liberating, but I deeply regret the permanent changes to my body. I am now at peace accepting myself as a female.
My detransition story
My whole journey with transition and detransition was a long and confusing one, and it took me a long time to untangle my own thoughts from the ideology I had absorbed. It started when I was a teenager. I was absolutely certain I was trans, and from my mid-teens to my late twenties, nobody could talk any sense into me. I believed I was a man trapped in a woman's body.
A lot of my initial discomfort was with puberty. I hated the changes, I hated my breasts, and I felt completely disconnected from my body. Looking back, I think a lot of this was tied up with other issues. I had low self-esteem, depression, and anxiety. I was also influenced heavily by what I saw online and by friends in similar situations. It felt like I had found an answer, a way to escape the person I was. I now see that a lot of this was a form of escapism.
I took testosterone for many years. I was so sure it was the right path for me that I even got top surgery. I thought it would fix everything. For a while, it did make me feel better; I felt like I was finally becoming who I was supposed to be. But the feeling didn't last. The goalposts kept moving. I was constantly worried about whether I "passed" enough as a man, which is a ridiculous way to live when you think about it—trying to look a certain way to prove your biological sex is something else.
The turning point for me came when I started to have doubts. I found myself in online spaces for detransitioners and, at first, I was defensive. I remember watching a video from a gender-critical perspective and I almost had a panic attack because what she was saying made sense, and that felt like a betrayal of everything I had believed. I felt like I was becoming evil. But some very patient people asked me simple, straightforward questions that I couldn't answer: "What is a woman?" "What does 'living as a woman' even mean?" I realized my entire belief system was built on feelings and stereotypes, not anything concrete. It all collapsed.
I realized I had internalized a lot of homophobia. I am a lesbian, and I think part of my desire to transition was a way to avoid dealing with that. Instead of being a gay woman, I could be a "straight man." It was a way to sidestep the stigma I felt. Letting go of that and accepting myself as a female who loves other females was a huge part of my detransition.
Extricating myself from gender ideology was incredibly liberating. The realization that I didn't have to keep up this charade anymore, that I could just be, was like a weight lifted. I had trapped myself in a challenge I could never win, and I finally gave myself permission to stop. I don't regret my journey because it led me to this understanding, but I do deeply regret the permanent changes I made to my body. The top surgery is something I can't reverse, and that is a source of grief. I am also now infertile because of the hormones, which is a serious and lasting consequence.
My thoughts on gender now are very simple. Sex is biological. I am female. No amount of surgery or hormones changes that. "Gender" as it's talked about now just seems to be a set of stereotypes, and buying into it felt regressive. I benefited enormously from stepping away from affirming therapy and instead questioning why I felt the way I did. It was the questioning that set me free.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 15 | Started feeling intense discomfort with female puberty and began identifying as transgender. |
| 16 | Socially transitioned to male and began asking about medical transition. |
| 18 | Started testosterone therapy. |
| 24 | Underwent top surgery (double mastectomy). |
| 28 | Began to have serious doubts about my transition and started exploring detransition communities online. |
| 29 | Stopped taking testosterone and began the process of detransitioning, accepting myself as a female. |
Top Comments by /u/Agitated-Survey-5366:
Do you look man enough to what? Pass? I see a lot of "do I look male enough to be a man?" "do I look female enough to be a woman?" on here and it's nonsense. Your mind's still working along the transgender lines of believing you need to look a certain way in order to be your literal biological sex (or the opposite).
No matter what you've done to your body you are literally male. A man. Take comfort in that. It took me a while to fully understand this and to disentangle my thoughts from the way I'd been conditioned to see sex and gender.
As for the photo, you look completely androgynous to me, but obviously if you were getting misgendered all the time then you don't pass as female in real life. Photos don't show posture, height, body proportions, body language, voice or any of the other things we subconsciously notice when evaluating somebody's sex. There's no way for us to tell how you're going to be perceived by those you encounter day-to-day.
Style yourself in typically male clothes if you're fed up of people asking "what" you are. Get on testosterone and try to bulk up a bit if your body type allows that. If you're taller than the average woman and have a voice in the typical male range then that will also work in your favour.
But if you're as androgynous in real life as you look here then make peace with the fact that you may always baffle people to some degree and that's fine. I know tall women this happens to, butch lesbians, guys with long hair. It happens.
As for love, nobody's guaranteed that. Learn to love yourself first and not to seek validation from others. Like you said, you're free now. You can relax! The realisation that I didn't have to keep up a charade anymore that was simply never going to work, that I'd trapped myself in a Sisyphean challenge of my own making which I could in fact simply leave at any time, was so unbelievably liberating. Just be you.
If you have any doubts whatsoever, even tiny ones (and they are clearly quite big given that you've come to a detrans subreddit about this), then do NOT get the surgery. DO NOT DO IT. This is not something you can EVER reverse. You can always postpone something to a later date but you can't ever turn the clock back to regain something you've lost and if you go ahead with the surgery and regret it you will hate yourself in ways you couldn't even imagine right now.
I was absolutely fucking certain that I was trans, and nobody could talk any sense into me, from my mid-teens to my late twenties and--surprise!--I did in fact change my mind after all.
If you're stressed about the thought of not getting it done then just think of it as postponing instead of cancelling.
Also, (I can't remember what's allowed here regarding views on gender in general so if this is against the rules can a mod just tell me instead of outright banning) if you're male and solely attracted to other males then you will always be a gay man, no matter what cosmetic changes you make to your body. Just be aware of that, even if you do decide to go ahead with surgery in the future, as it will be relevant throughout your life. You don't have to call yourself a gay man if you don't want but you are biological male which will affect things like your dating prospects, how certain laws apply to you in different countries etc, how other people perceive you even with surgery. It's not an insult, it's just a fact, and denying that is what leads to a lot of trans-identified people's distress (as it did for me).
Yep.
I went from "don't worry, guys, I'm not going to be one of those detrans folk!" to slowly deconstructing everything and finding I agreed with a lot of what the other side was saying when I actually took the time to listen to them.
It's jarring to think back on because I remember the first time I decided to watch a "terfy" video and how I had to force myself not to freak out as I listened to the pleasant woman with her gentle voice explain her completely sensible position. I deliberately chose the type of video that I thought would be least offensive to me and still almost had a panic attack because I felt so ashamed about agreeing with her. I felt like I'd turned evil and was becoming the very thing I was afraid detransition would lead to*.*
Once I'd extricated myself from the mess of gender ideology it became less and less possible for me to make sense of my previous beliefs which had been almost entirely based in nebulous feelings. I was anchorless. I was angry about it for quite a long time. The sense of betrayal, confusion, loss and nervousness about the future felt no different to when I'd suddenly stopped believing in the religion I was raised in and I couldn't believe I'd fallen for it again.
The decision by trans orgs to frame the UK court decision as a "new law" is a calculated one to keep their movement going by instilling unnecessary fear. It's an appallingly unkind way to treat vulnerable members of their own community. Not "stay calm, it's okay, we're not actually losing any rights" but "they're trying to kill us, people will die because of this, you will die because of this".
They are deliberately lying in order to frighten the young people who look to them for guidance.
tbh what does genuinely trans even mean?
Genuinely believes they are the opposite sex?
Genuinely experiences debilitating dysphoria about their sex?
Genuinely psychologically benefits from taking cross-sex hormones and/or undergoing surgery?
I fitted all three definitions until I didn't. I know people who have been openly trans for decades and they seem to still be cool with their decisions; I guess these are the closest you could get to calling somebody "genuinely trans". But then I also know a woman who detransitioned after 30 years.
This is where it's misleading to say it's analogous to sexuality in any way. Sexuality is straightforward (as much as these same people are determined to overcomplicate it). You're exclusively attracted to the opposite sex? Straight. The same sex? Gay. Both sexes? Bi. Bam, done.
There's really no reliable way to sift out the "true trans" person from the temporarily confused or the fetishist or the opportunist, unfortunately. And under the current mainstream definition all would be included.
This is how it happened for me too, thanks to some really nice gender critical women who were very patient with me. All they did was answer my questions and ask me some in return. But every question they asked me, once I stopped combatively resisting and actually thought properly about them, caused my views to collapse in on themselves. Questions as simple as,"What is a woman?" "What does 'living as a woman' mean?" "How can somebody be born in the wrong body?" and so on. I realised none of it made any sense and that defining "gender" (by which they really mean sex) based on stereotypes instead of biology was regressive and, frankly, fucking stupid lol. You can't put that genie back in the bottle.