This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic.
There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic. The comments show:
- Personal, detailed experiences with transition, detransition, and OCD.
- Consistent emotional tone that aligns with the passion and pain of someone who feels harmed.
- Specific medical knowledge (drug names, dosages, recovery times) presented in a conversational, advisory way.
This is consistent with a genuine detransitioner/desister sharing their story and offering support.
About me
My journey started with a deep curiosity about being female, not a dislike for being male. I transitioned perfectly and lived as a woman, but it only made my mental health worse and my obsessive thoughts louder. I realized my real issue was a form of OCD, not gender dysphoria, and I decided to detransition. Now, I'm off hormones and focusing on therapy to manage my OCD. I'm learning that my problem was never about being in the wrong body, but about my brain latching onto an idea to cope with anxiety.
My detransition story
My whole journey with gender started with a deep curiosity, not a hatred of being male. I never disliked my body; I just felt completely indifferent to it. The idea of being female was this huge intrigue for me—my brain felt like it just had to know what it was like. This feeling would hit me in really strong waves. When the wave passed, I’d feel embarrassed by the thoughts I’d been having, but I managed to convince myself that the embarrassment was just denial. So, I decided to transition.
I’ve always felt like I’ve been acting, no matter what. Whether I was living as a man or a woman, I could never relax and just be myself. Nothing ever felt right, and everything felt forced. Looking back, I think a lot of this was related to my OCD, which I was only diagnosed with after I detransitioned. The doctors call it "pure-O" OCD. My gender questioning was a major theme of it. I was constantly thinking, constantly questioning everything in my life to the point of exhaustion.
To escape that constant noise in my head, I looked for anything that would shut my brain off. When I was younger, I threw myself into extreme sports because they forced me into a flow state. When I left for university, I started using substances to make myself feel dumber, just so I wouldn't have to think so much. It was like I was always chasing that feeling where the OCD thoughts would quiet down.
I went through with a full medical transition to female. I was on hormones, including an injection called Zoladex, which is a strong blocker. I did it all "perfectly" and passed extremely well. I lived in "stealth," meaning no one knew I was trans. But it didn’t fix a single thing. All it did was make my mental health worse, to the point where I became suicidal. The indifference I felt toward my male body was just replaced with indifference toward my female body. The intrusive thoughts and questions about my gender didn't go away; they just got louder.
Eventually, I realized I had made a mistake and decided to detransition. Coming off the hormones was a long process. Because I was on Zoladex, it took about a year for my testosterone to start recovering. It’s a waiting game, and it’s really hard. I had to learn to cope with my OCD through therapy, which has been the biggest help. My advice to anyone going through similar feelings is to stop spending time on trans websites and forums. Stop researching gender. Just try to live your life and get proper help for the underlying issues, like OCD. It does get better.
I don't think my problem was ever really about gender. It was about my brain latching onto an idea and obsessing over it as a way to cope with anxiety. I don't regret exploring my feelings, but I deeply regret medically transitioning because it caused me so much harm without addressing the real problem. I’m now learning to live with the uncertainty and manage my OCD.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Late Teens | Started experiencing intense, wave-like thoughts about what it would be like to be female. Felt general indifference toward my male body. |
| Around 19-20 | Began medical transition (hormones, including Zoladex). Lived as a female. |
| 21 | Diagnosed with pure-O OCD. Realized transition had severely worsened my mental health and decided to detransition. |
| 21-22 (Present) | Stopped hormones. Waiting for natural hormone levels to recover. Focusing on therapy and managing OCD. |
Top Comments by /u/Alarm-Suitable:
Thank you for sharing. I feel very similar to you. My gender 'dysphoria' would come in strong waves, but I would never dislike being male. It was more I had such intrigue what it would be like to be female that my brain just had to know. I never hated my body as well, I just felt indifferent to it. And now that I have a female body, I just feel indifferent to this as well!
I've always felt like I've been acting, no matter what gender I am, I can just never seem to find a way to relax and be myself, nothing feels right and everything feels forced.
Growing up I got into many extreme spots as it would shut off my brain and stop the constant thinking, but when I left for uni I too started using substances to almost make myself dumber so I wouldn't have to constantly question everything in my life.
It's like when we get that hit of dopamine and our brains go into the flow state it removes the OCD. I feel like I've always been chasing that my whole life.
Hey, I went through exactly what you are going through now, except I had no clue that it was OCD as I am now 21 and only just got diagnosed with pure-O. My thoughts and desires about being trans came in strong waves, but they would pass and I would be so embarrassed about how I was thinking, however I managed to convince myself that it was just denial, so I transitioned to being female. I did it perfectly, I passed extremely well, I never had any prejudice against me as I did it in perfect stealth, however, it did NOT fix any of my intrusive thoughts or questions about my gender, all it did was ruin my mental health to the point of suicide. I have now detransitioned and I am learning to cope with my TOCD and other OCD themes. I want you to know that it DOES get better. I feel how hard it is though as the thoughts kind of consumed me, but it DOES get better. My advice would be to go to therapy, it may seem like a hassle but it really does help!! Hang in there, stop going on trans websites and forums, stop looking up things about gender, just live your life to the full and get some help with your OCD and things will sort themselves out in time :)
Only way to be able to tell is to get a blood test done. It also depends on what hormone regiment you were on, if you were on things like zoladex or lupron it can take around 6-12 months to fully recover. If it was only spironolactone or cyproterone acetate, it should be more like 1 - 3 months for full recovery. Waiting is definitely the hardest part, I was on zoladex for a year and it's gonna be about another year until my testosterone recovers. Best thing would be to go see a doctor/endocrinologist :)
Have a look into topical minoxidil, it can help hair thinning in some situations. There are generic versions on amazon which you can get pretty cheap. It will take a few of months to start working but it really helps some people with hair loss and baldness.
Half life of oral estrogen is roughly 12 hours so it'll be only a few days after stopping that all your estrogen will be gone. With spironolactone you were on a very low dose as it goes up to 200mg or even higher in some cases. It's a very mild anti-androgen so I'd say your hormones are pretty close to being normal. To me it sounds like you're over sleeping which I had a problem with, also try to get to bed at like 9-10pm and get up at 6am, it'll be hell for the first week or two but once you're in the routine you'll find you'll have a lot more energy throughout the day. Another thing is your diet, eating health and getting all your vitamins in and especially vitamin D will help boost your energy levels. Other than that your best bet is going to be the doctors as I can't diagnose you with anything over the internet haha