This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user's perspective is highly specific, nuanced, and internally consistent over a 10-month period. They describe a complex, lived experience of being a butch lesbian who medically transitioned (taking testosterone) but still identifies as a woman, detailing the social pressures, physical changes, and personal reflections involved. The language is personal, emotionally varied (passionate, angry, sad, reflective), and lacks the repetitive, simplistic, or agenda-pushing tone often seen in inauthentic accounts.
About me
I was born female and my discomfort with womanhood started at puberty, leading me to live as a butch lesbian. I started testosterone at 27 mainly to stop my severe migraines, which it did miraculously. I never became a man; I'm still a lesbian who is now often mistaken for male, which makes public life safer from the harassment I faced as a butch woman. I sometimes grieve that I feel separated from other butch women, who are my people. I transitioned to survive in this world, not because I was born in the wrong body.
My detransition story
My journey with gender has been long and complicated, and it all really started with puberty. I was born female, and as soon as my body started changing, I felt a deep discomfort. I hated developing breasts and everything that came with being a woman. I was never feminine; it just wasn't me. I was a butch lesbian, and that identity felt right, but my body felt wrong.
For over a decade, I struggled with this dysphoria. I saw a gender therapist at one point and asked him straight up how to tell the difference between being a butch lesbian with body image issues and being a trans man. He didn't have a good answer, and that was really frustrating because there didn't seem to be a clear line. I held off on transitioning for more than ten years of my adult life because I wanted to be sure.
A big part of my decision to finally start testosterone wasn't just about gender. I had suffered from severe, debilitating migraines for 14 years, since I hit puberty. I was missing work constantly and nothing helped. I’d heard that for some people, hormones could alleviate issues like that. After watching friends go through transition and seeing the risks and realities, I decided I could accept those risks. I started testosterone a few months before I turned 27, and the most amazing thing happened: my migraines completely vanished. That was a medical miracle for me and a huge reason I don’t regret taking T.
Transitioning didn’t really change who I was attracted to or who was attracted to me. I’ve always been a lesbian, and that never changed. I still only date women, specifically bisexual and lesbian women. I found that straight women weren't interested in me because, at my core, I’m not a man. I have a female way of expressing myself—I’m emotional, I smile "too much." Straight women want a real man, and I’ll never be that. The women who love me are the same type who loved me before: they see me for who I am.
I never had top surgery. The testosterone itself caused enough atrophy to my small chest that I can pass as male topless. I’m legally still female and I plan to stay that way. I don’t think of myself as a man. I’m a butch woman who takes testosterone and is often mistaken for a man because it’s easier than correcting people all the time. I live as a man in the world for safety and convenience, not because I have an internal male identity.
The social pressure was a huge factor. As a butch woman, I faced constant harassment. I was chased out of women's bathrooms, had things thrown at me, was spat on, and was constantly policed for my appearance. It was scary and dehumanizing. Taking testosterone and passing as male made public life safer and easier. I didn’t choose masculinity; it was just me, and HRT was an easier option than facing that daily danger and discomfort.
I do have some regrets about the social aspects. I sometimes feel like I gave a part of myself away. There’s a sadness in seeing another butch woman and knowing she doesn’t see me as one of her people anymore. We are basically family, but I’m family in disguise. I also started balding from the testosterone, which is something I’ve had to learn to accept.
My thoughts on gender are that it’s not nearly as simple as people make it out to be. I think for many people, especially those born female, a lot of the desire to transition comes from a place of discomfort with the realities and hardships of being a woman in this world, not from some innate brain sex. I benefited from a type of therapy that wasn’t just affirming; it was skeptical and made me really question my reasons, and I think that’s vital for anyone considering this path.
I don’t regret taking testosterone because it gave me a quality of life I didn’t have before, both physically with the migraines and socially with the safety. But I regret that we live in a world where butch women aren’t safe and are made to feel like their bodies are wrong. I transitioned to survive, not because I was born in the wrong body.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 13 | Puberty began; started experiencing severe discomfort with female development and chronic migraines. |
| 27 | Started testosterone therapy. Migraines stopped completely within a few months. |
| 29 | (Current age) Still on testosterone, legally female, and identify as a butch lesbian. |
Top Comments by /u/Alicyclic_Couple:
If it is not a mental illness, what is it? A set of cosmetic procedures? If yes, that solves the trans sports problem.
Why must one go to the pharmacy to pick up drugs for their “natural human diversity?”
Shouldn’t trans people just develop differently in the first place if it is so natural?
If the brain and body do not match and drugs must be administered for them to do that (aka them not “matching” is a problem, then it is a medical issue, no two ways around that....). If it is simply a thing that is okay, then why treat the “problem” since it is not one?
This logic makes no sense to me either.
Oddly that’s one of my favorite irreversible changes that happened. I don’t feel less female because of it, but I’m also a lesbian, which ime lesbians accept women’s bodies in many shapes and sizes.
Just wondering your sexual orientation (if that’s not too personal)? I know my fiancée is bi and expressed how much more comfortable she is about her body when she dates women. Like some? A lot? (I’m not sure how many) men want this shaved bullshit clamshell that almost no woman has. The porn vagina.
I’ve literally never dated a woman with a “standard” vagina. Theyre all so different.
Yeah. I feel a lot of guilt knowing I’m part of the problem being male passing. Just a dude, not a “problem”. But having been a “problem” for decades it’s hard to know that people see this “normal” guy that they may not feel they can relate to, when in reality I understand too.
It feels wrong for me to transition for those few butch women that are left. I feel so sad when I see one of my people and they don’t see me back. We are basically family, but I’m family in disguise.
I don’t see the diff between a “straight” trans man and a butch lesbian, so I befriend as many of both as possible, as many as will speak to me. When you really get deep with the ones who have actually done self reflection (let’s be real; butch women are great at reflection...maybe it’s from having so much solitude), it’s crazy how damn similar we all are.
I think the part that makes me sad is when trans men believe they’re actually straight men or do not id with the term “lesbian.” It’s literally what we are. If they can’t accept it, I have more trouble relating to them.
Hey I saw the part about experiencing more rejection and just wanted to drop in and let you know that lesbians are generally one of the most accepting groups of women I’ve ever met as far as body positivity goes. I’m a lesbian with a beard, no boobs, covered in acne, and fairly unattractive imo, and I’ve had no problems dating.
Lesbians get a shit name from like...trans women on reddit, but in real life, the only thing we aren’t body positive about is literal male bodies (if you notice, the breasts do not make us want to sleep with males any more than we initially did).
Anyway, I would have been just as attracted to my girlfriend if her breasts were removed, as breasts aren’t really the first thing I notice: it’s the face, then the personality, then the body connected to all of it.
It will take some time to accept yourself, but I wanted to let you know that others will accept you. And that you’re taking steps right now by acknowledging who you truly are. That is part of what people find attractive (the being yourself part).
That being said I know the feeling of doing what feels like irreparable damage to your body and regretting it. Ive gone through that feeling myself, and it took around 5 years to get over the damage I’d felt I’d done to my own body.
This feels really painful for you at this moment, but at some point you’ll be able to accept it I think. It takes hella time, but remember that you can always hide that they’re gone for a while until you feel comfy enough to go out into the world without breasts (or you can hide it for the rest of your life while in public). Message me if you want to talk more.
Being feminine isn’t an option because it’s not me. Also I don’t obsess over passing. I passed 60% of the time no HRT just being myself. That other 40% is what led to being ID’d to go to the restroom and other stuff. I didn’t choose masculinity. It just was me. Believe me. If us butch women persist throughout our lives of people trying to make us feminine, HRT is a much easier option.
I had no surgeries or anything and just shoot a needle into my hurt once a wk. way easier than being feminine presenting and uncomfortable in my body.
Whatever you do not make her feel she needs to be feminine to stay a woman. That’s what fucked me up. My mom was trying to save me from pain by punishing me for being myself. And here I am. I’m telling you that you need to be firm that herself as is is ok, but say she can make adult decisions (like transitioning ONLY if she expresses interest) when she is an adult and can afford it with her own money.
This sounds harsh but allows time to pass. Time is huge for most women. For the super butch ones...well, we are often fucked either way if I’m real. If she was feminine and experimenting around, most butch women are butch their whole lives. The kind that time wont stop us from transing. I held off for over a decade of my adult life and still am here. Control only what you can and love your daughter as is while she’s with you. Even if she wants to socially change pronouns, whatever. That’s often a great way to buy time (your most important helper). If she hates having periods or all the shitty aspects of being a woman, it’s hard to convince a teenager that they’ll ever love themselves. I mean, my gf is a bit gnc (she’s sort of androgynous behaviorally but looks def like a woman), and she said if she’d known about trans stuff when she was a teen she’d have transitioned in a heartbeat, if only to get rid of her period and all the other not so fun things that come with womanhood.
TLDR: love your daughter as she is and if she wants you to change pronouns, go for it, but say you want her to make wise decisions medically and that it’s healthier to transition when she is of age. Test can stunt vertical growth in females, which many trans men get bummed about. It’s like a hostage situation where buying time is your biggest ally. You simultaneously must be both gentle and firm.
10000000000%. I saw my butch friends turn into “normal” people, and I was very alone during the time I “gave in,” as I call it, as I struggled with gender dysphoria for over a decade pre transitioning.
Now I’m getting rid of Facebook but keeping Instagram subscribed to women good at sports and butch women.
Edit: coerced is not the word I’d use. Social media showed me my previously depressed trans friends happily in relationships with women, and I’d gone through a breakup and generally go 3+ years before dating again (not because I don’t want to date but because it’s hard to find a. Lesbians/bi women who aren’t poly or taken and b. Bi/lesbian I actually feel I want to date.
I felt so alone. Social media had my “previously gay” friends looking happy and “heterosexual.” I felt like my womanhood was the problem, that all feminine women secretly desire men or more masculinity than I could offer. Sadly enough, because I’ve been cheated on in enough relationships by women cheating with men. So it kind of felt true in that moment...kinda still does.
I think it’s normal. It isn’t a 100% indicator, but it’s just like how I came out as bi before coming out full lesbian. It’s easier to take small steps than big ones. People label others as “crazy” anyway if they change “too drastically “ for them. It’s the same reason people had an easier time accepting me as a dude than Trisha Paytas, despite us being biologically the exact same sex
As far as dating goes, there are these magical creatures out there called bisexual women, and omg they’re lovely. I’ve never dated a lesbian or a heterosexual woman, but ime bi women have been the most accepting of me as I am. I pass too well for any lesbian to want me, and no straight woman wants vagina in her life, so luckily the lord made women who like the best of both worlds. :) (no I’m not shit talking gay people...I’m a pure bred/gold star gay hahaha)
As far as lesbians go, I just remembered that I am one of those creatures, and I would definitely be into a woman without boobs. What attracts me to a woman physically? Her facial features and the general body shape. Something about hips and thighs and other signs of fertility. But a lack of boobs wouldn’t turn me away. But if we are real, the most beautiful thing about women to me is this emotional quality I can’t really put my finger on. All the superficial shit can be remade (that’s what a trans woman is to me, though I’ve never seen one who looks fertile and not like...plastic surgeried up), but there is this female quality that cannot be faked.
Anyway, personally speaking, Pre transition my boobs were like AA/never had to bind but people thought I was binding level of tiny. Women liked me fine. Women liked me just as much when they saw me as male as they did as female. Honestly transition or no transition, none of that seemed to impact who is interested: I seem to attract the same type and number of people regardless and sift through to those who I’m really interested in.
I don’t think our brains stereotype based on anything other than instinct. If we are used to seeing something that looks like x, we think it is x. When something appearing like a z comes along but is actually x, like...not being an asshole, simply processed it wrong.
I’m not saying not to try and change certain things to allow that processing to change (it’s happening in real time), but just like a trans person being offended they don’t pass, they just look how they look to people.