This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears to be authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic.
The user's comments are highly personal, emotionally nuanced, and show a consistent, reflective narrative of their own detransition experience. They offer balanced advice, acknowledge that transition can be the right choice for some, and their language is complex and empathetic, which is not typical of bots or trolls. The passion and anger mentioned are present but are expressed in a way that aligns with a genuine, thoughtful individual.
About me
I started testosterone at 18 because I thought it was my only way to escape being female, and I even had top surgery. For a while I felt better, but my deeper issues with depression and self-esteem never went away. I began therapy and realized my need to transition was about solving other problems, not about being a man. I stopped testosterone and am now struggling with the permanent physical changes, like my deep voice and missing breasts. I wish I had taken more time to work through my feelings instead of rushing into medical changes.
My detransition story
My name isn't important. I’m just someone who went down a path thinking it was the only way to feel okay, and now I’m trying to find my way back. I wanted to share my story here because reading others’ experiences helped me so much, and I hope mine can do the same for someone else.
I was 18 when I started my transition in 2017. I remember walking into a doctor’s office that specialized in transgender care, getting my blood drawn, and walking out with a prescription for testosterone. It was that fast. There was no therapy, no real waiting period, no one asking me hard questions about why I wanted this. I was so anxious to start what I felt was the first step to being my true self that I shoved all my doubts down. I just wanted to begin.
Looking back, I think a lot of my feelings came from a deep discomfort with puberty and my developing body. I hated my breasts and felt completely disconnected from being a woman. I saw cis men and felt a powerful jealousy; I wanted their childhood, their freedom, their bodies. I think I wrongly disassociated from womanhood altogether. Transitioning felt like an escape from all the things that made me unhappy.
I was on testosterone for years and I even got top surgery, a double mastectomy. For a while, I felt great about the way I looked. I felt like I was finally becoming who I was supposed to be. But the underlying issues—the depression, the anxiety, the low self-esteem—they didn’t magically go away. They followed me.
It was only after I started voluntary therapy a year ago that I began to have a completely different outlook on life. I started to untangle my feelings and realized that my need to transition wasn't about being a man. It was about trying to solve other, deeper problems. I stopped testosterone about a month ago.
Now, I’m struggling every day with detransition. I haven’t taken the big leap to come out socially yet; I’m taking it one step at a time. The physical changes are the hardest to deal with. My voice is permanently deeper and I have a lot of body hair. Not having breasts is a huge struggle; it’s a constant reminder of a choice I can’t take back. It’s hard to see women all around me and realize that I wrongfully turned my back on them.
Do I regret it? Ugh, I definitely wish I could go back and have never medically transitioned. I think it was a unique experience and I did gain some things from it, but ultimately, the repercussions I feel now outweigh the good. I think about the family I want to have someday, and I’m faced with the reality that I might now be infertile. That’s something that wasn’t on my mind at all when I was 18.
My thoughts on gender now are that it’s incredibly complex. For some people, transition is absolutely the right choice. But for me, it wasn’t. I didn’t need to change my body; I needed to learn how to live in it and make peace with my past. I don’t like to beat myself up for my decision, though. I did what I thought was best for me at the time with the knowledge and tools I had. You can't rewrite the past.
My advice to anyone questioning is to take your time. There is no need to rush into anything. If you have doubts, listen to them. Go to therapy. A good therapist can help you accept that maybe you are genuinely transgender, or help you realize that it isn’t the right path for you. Clear your head before you make any rash decisions. And most importantly, try to be kind to yourself. It’s a long road, but you don’t have to walk it alone.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
Age | Year | Event |
---|---|---|
18 | 2017 | Started testosterone therapy. |
18-21 | 2017-2020 | Lived as a transgender man. |
~21 | ~2020 | Underwent top surgery (double mastectomy). |
22 | 2020 | Stopped testosterone therapy. Began the process of social detransition. |
22 | 2021 | In voluntary therapy, working through underlying issues. |
Top Comments by /u/Alligaytors:
I'm going through the same thing. The only wisdom I can offer is to reiterate what my therapist told me. You did what you thought was best for you at that point in time. It's easy now to look back at all the things you think you should have done differently, but ultimately it won't bring you anything but grief. Hope you feel better soon
Ugh, I definitely wish I could go back and have never medically transitioned. I think it was a really unique experience and I did gain a lot from it but ultimately the repercussions I feel now outweighs the good. I don't like to beat myself up for my decision though, can't rewrite the past.
Hey I really relate. I think it's messed up how easy it is to get on hormones right at 18 because now at 22, I'm here thinking about the family I want to have someday too. Thats something that wasn't on my mind back then. I also felt really great about the way I looked from transitioning, but I realized even though I looked good as a man it wasn't what I wanted or needed anymore. Take your time and do whatever is best for you.
I really relate. I started right around when I turned 18. I just walked into a "trans specializing" doctor, got my blood drawn, and was on testosterone. No therapy, no wait, nothing. Now that I'm older and have been voluntarily in therapy for a year I have a completely different outlook on life and realized I didn't need to transition. Too bad I'd already been on hormones for years and got a mastectomy. It sucks.
Hey you're going through a lot. Try to take it easy on yourself. I think aside from obsessing on whether or not you should have detransitioned you should look ahead of you. You can still transition. Having detransitoned doesn't mean you're unable to try it again. Do what makes you feel like the best version of yourself. I know it sucks dealing with transphobia but if you aren't happy living as a man then maybe it is worth dealing with people's bullshit. When I first transitioned I was in the same boat where I didn't want to leave my house or see anyone for a year or so- it got better. Obviously our paths differ a little here but a lot of the experiences are still similar.
You seem really depressed though and maybe you should try to get out of this awful pit before making any big decisions. Not a psychiatrist, but depression could be whats fucking you up, not just the transition/detransition. I know from personal experience again that depression makes a mountain out of every molehill.. Maybe look into help, you don't have to go through it alone. I really hope the best for you!
If you are wanting to start HRT and keep wondering to yourself "What if this is a mistake?"
Take some time to yourself and think about it. There is no need to rush into it. I had a lot of doubts beforehand that I shoved down because I was anxious to start what I felt like was the first step to being trans.
I also agree with another commenter that if you think this will make you suddenly cis and not have to deal with the things that are bothering you, reevaluate because these issues will still follow you if you medically transition.
Go to therapy. I don't think any of us here want to contribute to you being tortured instead of being trans. Therapy can help you accept that maybe you are genuinely transgender or help you realize that it isn't the right path for you. It's all up to you. Just because a lot of us have had a negative experience transitioning doesn't mean it isn't the right choice for some people, in my opinion.
Take time and clear your head before you make any rash decisions.
I was 18 when I got on testosterone in 2017 (my memory is a little fuzzy on the timeline of when I started), stopped about a month ago. I still struggle with jealousy directed toward cis men. I wish that I could redo my childhood because mine was really restricting because of my gender. In terms of the detransiton, I am struggling every day with it. I haven't taken the leap and came out socially, I'm taking it one step at a time until I feel more comfortable. My voice and body hair are the biggest issues. Not having breasts now is a big struggle too. It's hard for me to see women all around me and realize that I wrongfully disassociated from them.