This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the comments provided, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user's posts show a consistent, long-term, and nuanced struggle with OCD, specifically focused on gender and sexuality (often called TOCD or trans OCD). The internal conflict, confusion, and emotional distress described over many months are highly characteristic of this condition and do not read as a manufactured narrative. The user also engages with others in a supportive and detailed way, offering advice from their own experience with OCD, which adds to the authenticity.
While the user is active in a detrans space, they consistently identify as someone questioning and suffering from OCD, not as someone who has medically transitioned and then detransitioned. This is consistent with the concept of a "desister" (someone who considered transition but did not pursue it) and their presence in the subreddit seeking answers is understandable.
About me
I'm a guy who never thought about my gender until I was 22, when I started having obsessive thoughts because of my OCD. I've always struggled with social anxiety and feeling disconnected, which I think is related to being autistic. The OCD convinced me I was supposed to be a woman, which caused terrible depression, even though I never disliked my body. I never took hormones because I knew deep down my feelings were from mental illness, not a real desire to change. Now, I'm focusing on treating my OCD and learning to accept myself as I am.
My detransition story
My journey with gender started when I was around 22 years old. Before that, I never questioned my gender or felt like I was in the wrong body. I was just me, a guy, living my life. Things began to change when I started struggling with obsessive thoughts about my sexuality and gender, which I now understand is due to OCD. I was diagnosed with OCD, and it completely took over my life.
I’ve always had low self-esteem and social difficulties since I was a teenager. I suspect I might be on the autism spectrum because I’ve always felt alienated from others and struggled in social situations. Looking in the mirror, I often felt disconnected from my reflection, like I didn’t recognize myself, even if I knew I looked fine. But this was never about gender until the OCD started.
The obsession began with intrusive thoughts that maybe I was actually a girl. I spent hours every day reading trans experiences online, which only made my confusion worse. I started feeling like I was a woman inside, even though I had no history of gender discomfort. This caused me immense depression and anxiety. I became suicidal because I felt trapped between these thoughts and the fear of making a permanent mistake.
I never hated my body. I love my penis and never wanted to change it. But the OCD made me feel like I was supposed to be female, that it was my "true self." I also struggled with internalized homophobia. I started feeling attracted to men and worried that if I was gay, maybe that meant I was really a woman. I grew up thinking only women like men, so these feelings were confusing.
I never took any hormones or had any surgeries. The idea of medically transitioning scared me because I knew deep down that my feelings were driven by mental illness, not a genuine desire to change my body. I benefited from learning about non-affirming therapy approaches that focus on treating the underlying OCD rather than affirming the gender thoughts. This gave me hope that I could get better without transitioning.
I don’t regret not transitioning because I now believe my feelings were caused by OCD, autism, and social difficulties, not by being trans. I still have moments of doubt, but I’m working on trusting that my body is fine the way it is. I’m focusing on improving my mental health and building a life without these obsessive thoughts.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 15 | Started experiencing low self-esteem and social difficulties. |
| 22 | Began having obsessive OCD thoughts about sexuality and gender. |
| 23 | Diagnosed with OCD; intense gender obsession and depression started. |
| 23 | Realized these were OCD symptoms and sought non-affirming therapy. |
| 23 | Stopped engaging with trans content online; focused on mental health. |
Top Comments by /u/Alternative_Talk_922:
Not transitioning, but I have ocd around my gender and may have autism. I suck at social situations, and conversing with people. Felt very alienated and detached when looking in the mirror, out of place in groups and clothes I wore even if I objectively looked good and all that stuff.
But many people too don’t feel an internal sense of being one gender.
I didn't feel any sense of gender before my obsession began. I read somewhere no one is supposed to feel any sense of gender, you're just you. Since my obsession I started feeling not like a man and like a woman more, became aware of it in a way. It's a mindfuck.
I can kind of relate. I have acute ocd and i believe i am trans and a girl despite never questioning my gender before ever(i am almost 23 y.o). I keep saying, i am trans and i will transition etc etc and ive just confused myself more amd now i genuinely think i am. Idk its awful dude
i love nurturing people, feeding them, taking care of them when they are sad or unwell, etc. I also grew up without a father figure,
This is me, like ditto. I have severe Ocd as well and now the notion that someone can be born as the opposite sex in the wrong body is fucking with me hard
Is it possible youre misinterpreting anxiety from Ocd as Gd? I think the same thing, i feel like my depression is different than most people bc mine is stemming from Ocd but i worry about that its not from Ocd but actually from Gd which it legit feels like all day long. You said in another comment youre on 5 medications, dude thats not healthy, meds can worsen your mental health especially if youre on that many. In your post you said large part of you thinks its BDD... I also dont think anyone especially men are not ugly unless they have some sort of disfigurement. You can easily boost your looks just by grooming and dressing well. Looks are important yeah man but they amount to nothing as compared to a solid personality and intellect. You also said in another comment you tried make up and it made you spiral? I feel like your Ocd is really bad and you tried to find an answer through make up which left your brain far more confused. Theres alot of things wrong here my guy, medication alone wont get rid of Ocd only a Ocd specialist can.
Could you expand on never being sure of yourself? That's the primary symptom I relate to. For me even looking in the mirror growing up I always thought I looked alien, like I couldn't recognize myself, didn't have a defining quality, I felt so very different from everyone, feeling out of place, any clothes I wore felt out of place on me even if it made me look good.
The only thing keeping me alive is mother and as much as I love my mom (my love to her is endless) I don’t think I can make it much longer
Very relatable. If it wasn't for my mother I'd have attempted a long time ago, the thought of leaving her all alone just rips my heart out. But time goes on, people and situations change, you and I will change too because nothing stays the same. It will be better one day especially if we are making an effort
I see, that's intense as shit. Do you think Mental illnesses can cause some ego death/ego dissolution too? I mainly asked that bc I have severe untreated Ocd and Im worried ive experienced something similar (not to the degree of psychedelic induced symptom like yours). My identity and knowledge I grew up with all seems to be gone or distorted bc of Identity related Ocd. Also sorry lol my question had little to do with your original post
If science is the arbiter for you of truth,
For most things, science is the closest humans can get to unveiling the mystery that is humans and the universe. I understand science is ever evolving/changing which is why I said for most things, its not absolute and Im aware.
What was the context of your reply though? Im not sure if I get it
I wrote a whole ass comment but deleted it bc I wasn't sure if I was eligible enough to give advice nonetheless my new comment is this lol, Look up shapeshifter on YouTube, he's had a bottom surgery as well, maybe you can gain some hope through a similar story. I am sorry this happened to you, I cannot begin to imagine what this must be like for you. Take care friend talk to someone you trust if the depressive feelings get heavy.