This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user's perspective is highly specific, internally consistent, and emotionally nuanced, detailing a personal history of childhood dysphoria, desistance, and a complex current identity (female and non-binary). The passion and anger expressed are consistent with the experiences of many detransitioners and desisters. The account shows a natural evolution of thought over time and engages with the community in a way that is difficult to fake.
About me
I'm Jess, and my gender dysphoria started as a bullied, depressed kid who wanted to be a boy. I now see it was rooted in internalized misogyny, believing that to be strong meant to be male. I'm grateful I never medically transitioned, as I would deeply regret the permanent changes. Today, I'm a 23-year-old female who rejects feminine norms as my own form of empowerment. I believe we need to explore the root causes of dysphoria instead of rushing into medical treatments.
My detransition story
My whole journey with gender started when I was a kid. I had what you'd call childhood gender dysphoria. I remember feeling like I wanted to be a boy. I was also going through a tough time back then; I was being bullied and had a lot of depression and anxiety. Looking back, I am so incredibly grateful that this was in the early and mid-2000s, because the whole narrative around trans kids and pushing them to transition didn't exist yet. If I were a kid today, I'm certain I would have been told I was a boy and put on hormone blockers. That thought honestly terrifies me.
I think a lot of my feelings came from a place of internalized misogyny. I felt that femininity was a sign of weakness, and I hated that idea. I wanted to be strong, and in my mind, that meant being male. I felt physically weaker and saw that as a disadvantage to being female. Even though I eventually desisted and stopped wanting to transition, I still struggle with those feelings sometimes. I know I'm stuck as a female, but I resist traditional femininity as a way to feel empowered. I don't wear bras and I don't shave my legs. It's more comfortable, and it feels like a small rebellion against sexist expectations.
For a while, I tried to fit into a more "normal" feminine role for society, but I eventually went back to wearing male-typical clothing around age 20. Now, at 23, people might look at me and think I'm non-binary. I sometimes say I identify as a girl and non-binary at the same time, but I don't consider myself trans. According to some people, that would make me trans, but it just doesn't feel right for me. My identity is tied to my spirituality; I believe in reincarnation and that our souls don't have a gender. We've all been both men and women in past lives, and I feel more connected to that idea of being neither, or both.
I never medically transitioned. I never took hormones or had any surgery, and I'm so glad I didn't. I have a lot of concerns about the medical side of things. I know that hormone blockers can have serious lifelong consequences like stunted growth and weak bones. The effects of testosterone are not always reversible, either. It makes me angry to see how easily kids can get these treatments now, while I, as a 23-year-old adult, would have a very hard time finding a doctor to sterilize me through a tubal ligation. It feels backwards that a 12-year-old can be given treatments that sterilize them, but I'm considered too young to make that decision for myself.
I think a big problem is that mental health professionals are being forced into an affirmative-only approach. They can't question why someone might be feeling dysphoric or explore other mental health issues that could be causing it, like depression or internalized misogyny. Everything is rushed. I believe that for many people, their dysphoria could be helped without risky medical interventions if we just looked deeper at the root causes.
I also see a lot of influence from friends and online spaces. I remember a study about "rapid onset gender dysphoria," where groups of female friends all came out as trans together after being exposed to pro-trans media. It feels like a social contagion sometimes. The community itself can be really toxic. I've been called a TERF just for questioning things like trans women in women's sports or kids on puberty blockers. It feels like a loud minority is controlling the conversation, and anyone who disagrees is silenced. It's pushed me away from wanting to be part of any community. I just want to be myself, Jess, without a label.
I don't regret not transitioning. I think I would have regretted it deeply if I had. My discomfort wasn't really about my body; it was about my place in the world as a female and the limitations I felt were put on me. I'm working on overcoming that internalized misogyny instead of changing my body. My advice to anyone questioning is to really analyze where those feelings are coming from. Talk to a non-affirming therapist who will help you explore other mental health challenges. Don't rush into anything permanent.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Childhood (early-mid 2000s) | Experienced gender dysphoria, wanted to be a boy. Dealt with bullying, depression, and anxiety. |
| 20 | Returned to wearing male-typical clothing and rejecting feminine norms like bras and shaving. |
| 23 (Present) | Identify as a female and non-binary, but not trans. Hold concerns about medical transition for youth. |
Top Comments by /u/AlwaysThinking-18:
I really dislike when people affirm “trans kids” in their trans identities. Science says they are more than likely to change their minds. I did. Where would I be if I was trans identified in this day and age? The agenda wasn’t a thing back in the mid 2000s, so I was spared being told I was, in fact, a boy, and that I should be given hormone blockers.
Mental health professionals are being legally forced into an echo chamber that demands that they always take the affirmative approach. This gaslights them against using their better judgement and being inquisitive as to why someone is dysphoric in the first place. Just maybe the dysphoria can be fixed without risky medical interventions if real science was used to help people instead of political correctness.
Desister from childhood dysphoria here (thank goodness I did not transition and the rhetoric around children transitioning was non-existent back in the mid 2000s).I think what motivated me was feeling more comfortable in masculine roles especially due to the fact that I felt femininity is the embodiment of weakness. I still kinda feel that, and even after I desisted and became “normal” to society, I went back to wearing male typical clothing at 20 (I’m now 23). I don’t wear bras anymore and don’t shave my legs either. Both of these factors make me embarrass myself a little, but I just remember how sexist those roles are and that it’s up to me to resist sexism and my own internalized misogyny. I’m SOOOO much more comfortable not wearing bras, and shaving legs is so time-consuming, expensive, gendered, and it hurts your back to hunch over.
So now, it would be easy to see me as non-binary, but I don’t really identify as that either. Sometimes I still want to be a guy, and even when I conformed I still had these feelings, but I think it’s due to internalized misogyny and feeling weak, and knowing that I’ll always be physically weaker. I know I’m stuck as a female and that’s that, but I try to resist femininity in an attempt to empower myself.
Sorry if that digressed from your question, but that was my experience.
I literally just made a post on r/venting that included some of the issues I have about the trans community (trans women in women’s sports, children on puberty blockers). I immediately got labeled TERFy. Blaire White says many trans people actually agree with her but are too afraid to speak out because it is the LOUD minority leading the movement.
Edit: Thank you all for all those new upvotes on the post I referenced! I’m assuming it was you guys. I appreciate it! And you can see I proved my point in regards to my attacker lol
I know you stopped cutting (that’s awesome!), but I recommend that you really analyze whether or not your dysphoria could be stemming from alternative mental health challenges (depression, internalized misogyny, or just plain dissatisfaction with gender roles). And hormone blockers are no joke. Do not allow trans activists to tell you different. You can have lifelong consequences from them, such as stunted growth and decreased bone density (breaking bones easier). The effects of T are also not always reversible, regardless of what the narrative may be. If you are having doubts, I strongly recommend you do not medically transition at this point because of these factors I mentioned. As someone who had childhood gender dysphoria, I am glad my time occurred before the main narrative around it started (the early and mid 2000s was my childhood). Given my past behaviors, I would be assumed to be trans by today’s standards and be pushed to transition.
There is also a narrative that people who identify as trans seldom change their minds, but this is false. Studies are being tailored to affirm this conviction. Brave people (I think in Denmark) who challenged this and had alternative findings saw that the mental health of FTMs was found to be worse post-transition than that of MTFs.
It is also a general fact that there are disproportionately more FTMs than MTFs. My guess as to why this is is because they have internalized misogyny. That’s what many FTMTF people on this subreddit have been saying was a key reason behind their transition.
No matter what you choose, I wish you all the best!
I have a distant (trans) friend who's always posting about trans stuff, like how trans women should be on women's sports teams and that "trans" kids should be supported in their transition. Then I have this person on facebook whose partner is a trans guy, and she's constantly posting stuff about supporting trans people and bashing anyone deemed to be transphobes. Then there's some people I've found who promote the narrative that not using pronouns is an act of violence, which they seem to think is equivalent to physically attacking someone. They push the narrative that not using pronouns and not affirming trans kids will cause them to commit suicide. The thing is, other than my distant friend, it could be awkward removing these people from my social media. One is in my grad school program and the others are involved in a bunch of events I've been to, and I don't want to stop going to these events for things I believe in and have it be awkward. It's just draining to see these posts and I don't think I can put them on "mute".
I really do wish I had a community of gender diverse people I could feel at home with (think of Blaire White's views on trans stuff mixed with 90% of Bernie Sanders' views), but any trans/NB/GNC people who are in agreement with me are too afraid to speak out against the toxic echo chamber I mentioned. I do feel a sense of community talking to folks on r/detrans though, so that's something!
I’m sorry you went through all that. I have another serious question though. Do you think that by people transitioning because they do not fit their sex’s gender roles, it actually reinforces gender roles and the oppression they create? Nothing against individual trans people here.
I think everyone is against Hubbard competing except trans activists and extremely far left people. I’m pretty damn left on like 90% of issues, but this is not one of them. Other progressives like me are just scared to speak out against it. This shouldn’t even be a political issue. It’s common sense.
Oh, and there’s another trans woman (American) going to the Olympics now. She’s an alternate for the BMX competition and there’s talk that she wanted to win just to burn the flag at the podium to protest how the US treats trans kids. I think the Olympics is now a joke.
20-25% of teens?!?! Do you have the link to that? Also, supposedly the reason it’s so high in kids is because the studies were small and had “faulty methodology” (but I’m sure it’s activists saying it’s faulty) and that it’s less likely to result in desistance if the child insists they are in fact the other sex rather than they just want to be. We just don’t know and I’m afraid we still won’t know in the years to come after these poor kids regret it because they’ll be afraid to speak out.