This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account "AmyDoe799" appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The comments display a highly personal, nuanced, and emotionally consistent narrative over a year. The user shares specific, complex life experiences (e.g., personal detransition, being a mother of a trans-identified teen, detailed reflections on mental health) that lack the repetitive, scripted quality of a bot. The language is conversational, includes self-correction, and expresses a range of emotions (anger, hope, regret, empathy) appropriate for the sensitive topic.
About me
I'm a woman who started testosterone at 41 during a severe mental health crisis, believing it was the answer to my depression. I realized later it was more like a slow-motion suicide attempt than a genuine desire to live as a man. Seeing a clinic aggressively push hormones on my teenage daughter was the final wake-up call that made me detransition for good. I’ve since healed by addressing my deep emotional wounds through inner child work and replacing bad habits with healthy ones like running. Now, at 43, I’m content as a woman, understanding that clothes and hobbies don’t define my gender, and I just focus on living my life.
My detransition story
My whole journey with gender has been messy, and it's wrapped up in my own struggles and my daughter's. I'm a woman, and I always have been, but for a while, I convinced myself I was a man. It started when I was in a really bad place mentally. I was deeply depressed, suicidal, and had lost a lot of weight. My antidepressants weren't working. In the middle of that crisis, I latched onto the idea that maybe I was transgender and that was the root of all my problems.
I went to my doctor and got testosterone through informed consent. The doctor did ask me to wait two weeks to think about it, which I did, but I was so sure this was the answer. I started testosterone when I was 41. Looking back, I see now that starting hormones was more like a slow-motion suicide attempt than a real desire to live as a man. I was on it for about a year.
During that time, I had a lot of complicated feelings. In some ways, I felt safer. It was like I had created a protective male layer around the female me underneath. I felt a sense of relief that I didn't have to compare myself to other women anymore; I had opted out of that competition. But the self-critical voice just found new things to pick on. I started comparing myself to men, realizing I'd never be as tall or strong or handsome as them, and that I'd always be lacking. It was a time full of contradictions. I remember once I almost got into a fight at Staples because I felt persecuted, which wasn't something that ever happened to me as a woman.
What really woke me up was my daughter. Shortly after I stopped testosterone, when she was 15, she came out as trans. The clinic wanted to put her on testosterone the same day. They asked her those stupid questions about trucks and dolls and then started hounding me with phone calls. Seeing how overzealous they were to medically transition my kid made me freak out. That was the moment I realized, 100%, that this whole system was not okay. Up until then, I’d still toyed with the idea of transitioning later, but that experience snapped me out of it completely.
My relationship with my daughter has been the hardest part. I tried to talk to her about my own experience, hoping she would stop and think before making permanent changes. She responded by cutting me out of her life. It's incredibly painful, but I'm glad I told her the truth even if she hates me for it now.
My detransition wasn't just about stopping hormones. I had to fix what was really broken inside me. I had been walking around for years with a huge emotional void that I tried to fill with crazy behavior, reckless spending, and then transition. I read a lot of self-help books, especially ones about abandonment and inner child work, and about love addiction. It sounded silly, but actually doing the exercises, like talking to my inner child, helped. I managed to fix that void, and I don't feel that horrible loneliness and emptiness anymore.
I also had to change my habits. I got rid of the large mirror in my bedroom because I spent too much time critically examining my body. I started forcing myself to go for walks outside, even though I hated that advice at first. Now, walking in the woods is my peace; it’s where nothing is crazy because there are no people. Whenever I feel a negative emotion, I do cardio. My theory is that stress triggers fight or flight, and running soothes your body because you're doing what it wants to do—fleeing. It’s a healthy addiction.
My thoughts on gender now are much simpler. I think we should just do what we like. I still wear men's clothes most of the time because they're better made, have pockets, and are practical for my work as a house painter. I wear boxer briefs because they're more comfortable. I realized that all those clothing choices that felt so important during my gender phase make no difference to anyone but me. I’m not good with hair or makeup, and I don’t bother with it. I’ve learned that earrings and nail polish can be fun, but they have nothing to do with being a woman. The goal is to put gender on the back burner and just live your life.
I do have regrets. I regret that I saw transition as a solution to my deep-seated mental health issues instead of addressing the root causes. I regret the strain it put on my relationship with my daughter. But I don't regret the journey entirely because it led me to a place of much greater self-understanding and peace. I'm 43 now, and I'm content being a woman, living a simple life with a few good friends.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 41 | Started testosterone after a mental health crisis, believing I was transgender. |
| 42 | Stopped testosterone after about a year, realizing it was a misguided attempt to solve deeper problems. |
| 42 | My 15-year-old daughter came out as trans; the clinic's push for immediate hormones solidified my detransition. |
| 43 | Present day. Detransitioned, focused on inner child work and healthy habits to address the root causes of my distress. |
Top Comments by /u/AmyDoe799:
may I be blunt? good. You sound to me like a really nice young man who spends too much time looking within yourself to find the answers to life. A better approach would be to nurture an interest outside yourself, pursue it, and enjoy your healthy body, embrace being a man, cuz why the fuck shouldn’t you? Being a woman is not really any better, and as a trans friend pointed out to me once, we all kinda look the same when we get old. So enjoy your youth!
there’s so much to talk about here, I wish I could talk to you in person. I don’t know where to begin. I can relate to so much of this. I never thought of myself as attractive as a female and when I decided to transition I felt so much relief at no longer belonging to that category. I stopped comparing myself to other women and coming up short. However it didn’t take long before I started comparing myself to men and realizing that a lot of them were taller and stronger and more handsome and well, have actual dicks, and I realized I would be taking my self critical voice with me through transition and would end up the same or even more unhappy trying to live as a man.
I too had the idea that it would be nice to go to the beach and not be self conscious. You know what I do now? I wear shorts and a tank top and I go to the beach like once a year anyway. Yes it would have been nice to be one of those perfect body people, but hey, there’s a lot more to life, and those people have problems too. Like probably getting used for their good looks by people who don’t actually care about them.
I hope you will not rush into any surgical options and I think it would be really cool if you could find peace living as a woman and be someone other young girls can look up to.
huh. that’s interesting to me. I am a woman who is bad at socializing so it’s something I have struggled with and felt all kinds of ways about. I think the only women who get that kind of special treatment are the good looking ones, and the rest of us are basically treated like dog doo. I always felt like men had more control in this realm because you can be valued for being smart, or capable, and you can increase your knowledge and capabilities but if you’re an ugly woman you’re just pretty much fucked. Those are my OLD ways of thinking, mind you. Now I don’t give a fuck about any of that stuff, I am content to have a few good friends and work on my stuff, and fuck the world. Sorry I probably am not expressing my points very well. too much typing today.
I don’t mean to sound like I’m oversimplifying here but... if you have a large mirror in your bedroom where you are spending a lot of time looking at your body, just get rid of it. I have been much happier since I stopped examining myself in the mirror. It’s a small thing but it helps a lot.
you’re a human being, and a young one at that. all of us humans are vulnerable to manipulation, so don’t be so hard on yourself. I hope you will work in forgiving yourself and get some time outside of your head. If you can force yourself to go for a walk outside, do it.
Oh my gosh it makes me happy to hear this. As a detransitioner myself, and as a mother of a trans identifying teen who HATES me right now.... I can say there have been times I had my head very far up my own ass, and narcissistic tendencies do run in my family. But overall I have been a good mom, and more importantly, I don't think it's helpful to maintain anger and blame at your mom for years and years, as I did with my own mother.
We all have narcissistic tendencies, especially when we are under duress, but there are probably not too many TOTAL narcissists out there, and most people CAN improve. Communication is so hard, and so important.
Thank you for sharing this, it gives me some hope for future reconciliation with my kid.
I have tried to tell my daughter, after going thru trans stuff myself, and she responded by cutting me out of her life. It’s very difficult to tell someone something they don’t want to hear. I’m glad I told her the truth even if she hates me for it, maybe she will stop and think before getting body parts removed.
I definitely felt safer, in some ways, while I was identifying as a man, even though I wasn’t any safer in reality. It was sort of like I internalized a person to protect me, and I felt that female me was underneath that protective layer. I didn’t stay on testosterone long enough that anyone else would see me as a man, but I felt that way.
On the other hand, I also felt less safe and almost got into a fight at Staples because I felt I was being persecuted by crabby people waiting in line. So… It was a time full of contradictions.
Earrings and nail polish can be fun if you’re into that kind of thing but they have nothing to do with being a woman. just do what you like, do what feels most natural to you. see if you can put gender on the back burner for a while and think about something else. I wish I could talk to you on the phone cuz my thumbs a are tired from typing. You sound so much like me a few years ago.
huh? I don’t think that’s someone with a suffering kid. I think it’s a young person with trans id-ing friends. what I would like is to see people receive good, carefully considered professional help. not fast track hormones and surgery. not sure why ppl have a problem with that.