This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account "AnKelley92" appears authentic and not a bot. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is inauthentic.
The user consistently identifies as a gender-critical woman who never medically transitioned (a desister). The comments show a coherent, personal worldview, emotional depth, and varied advice on topics from mental health to hair care, which is not typical of bot behavior. The passion and anger expressed are consistent with the stated experiences of many in the detrans/desister community.
About me
I'm a woman who's always been a tomboy, and I started researching this because I was worried about young people being told their interests meant they were trans. I believe this just reinforces old stereotypes and that many are experiencing a normal identity crisis, not true dysphoria. I see a huge ethical failure in medicine offering hormones as a quick fix instead of proper therapy for underlying issues like trauma or depression. I also see this driven by internalized homophobia, where lesbians feel they must become men to be loved. My only regret is for those who were rushed into permanent changes instead of being told they are valid just as they are.
My detransition story
My whole journey with this started not because I transitioned myself, but because I was trying to understand why so many people, especially young people, were going down that path. I’m a woman who has always been what you might call a tomboy. I love working outdoors, I play sports, and I live in my husband’s basketball shorts. I clean up nice when I want to, but most of the time, I’m just comfortable. For me, enjoying these things never made me feel like I wasn’t a woman. I embrace being a woman, just my own kind of woman.
I started reading and talking to people online because I was deeply concerned. I saw a pattern where people who didn’t fit strict gender roles—a man who likes feminine things or a woman who likes masculine things—were being told that must mean they are transgender or non-binary. To me, that just reinforces the same old stereotypes we’ve been trying to get away from. Telling a boy he might be a girl because he likes dolls is just as harmful as telling him he can’t like them.
A lot of what I read sounded less like true gender dysphoria and more like a deep identity crisis, something I think we all go through, especially when we’re young and trying to figure out who we are and where we fit in the world. I struggled with my own identity and had a hard time figuring out my place. I also have a history of depression from a difficult childhood, so I know that mental pain is complex and can’t be fixed with one simple solution.
I became very worried about the role of the medical community. It seems like instead of helping people work through their confusion and underlying issues—like depression, anxiety, or trauma—with proper, non-affirming therapy, they offer hormones and surgery as a magic fix. I believe this is a massive ethical failure. The first rule for doctors is to do no harm, and I see a lot of harm being done. I read so many stories from people who transitioned and then regretted it because their dating life was terrible, or they realized they’d made a permanent change for the wrong reasons, and now they feel stuck.
I also saw a troubling connection to sexuality. I talked to women who felt they had to become men to be loved, to escape being a lesbian and become a "straight" man instead. That sounds a lot like internalized homophobia to me. There is nothing wrong with being a lesbian. And I strongly believe that not disclosing your trans status to a sexual partner is sexual deceit. It’s lying, and it’s wrong.
My views on gender are pretty straightforward. I think you can be a man or a woman and like whatever you want. Your interests don’t define your sex. I believe true gender dysphoria is a real mental illness, but I think it’s rare. What’s happening now feels like a social experiment, and young, impressionable people, including those who might be autistic or have other mental health struggles, are being swept up in it without anyone asking the harder questions.
I don’t have any personal regrets about transitioning because I never did. My regret is for the people who have been hurt by a system that rushed them into life-altering changes instead of giving them the time and therapy they needed to be sure. I just want people to know that you can be yourself, exactly as you are, without changing your body. You don’t have to transition to be valid.
| Age | Date (YYYY-MM) | Event |
|---|---|---|
| N/A | N/A | Never medically or socially transitioned. |
| N/A | 2020-01 | Began actively researching and discussing transition online out of concern. |
Top Comments by /u/AnKelley92:
Hello gender critical woman here. I wanted to say that I just had a conversation with a trans individual the other day who believed this site to be full of false stories and false accounts. I think the warnings should be heeded because this site says that being trans is dealing with mental illness and you can come out of it. This site is literally everything they don’t want to be acknowledged and they will destroy you just so they can keep their fantasy of being real women or real men alive. I will be sorry to see this happen because each and everyone of you gives hope to people out there by telling them it is possible to love their body and be comfortable not following the expected gender norms. You can be a man that enjoys “feminine things” and you can be a woman that enjoys “masculine things.” Continue to love yourselves and spread the word that you don’t have to change everything about yourself to be who you are already!
Ok sexual deceit should be applied here. The fact that you think you don’t have to disclose that kind of information about yourself is just that. It’s lying and it’s fucking shameful. Now then you need to probably get into a therapy session and talk to a therapist that has a non biased point of view on transitioning so you can work through some stuff. Ultimately I’m seeing more stories like this everyday where somebody regrets transitioning because dating life sucks, they realize it’s not what they should’ve done all along and needed better mental health professionals, and now they feel stuck. Frankly I hate that medical doctors are doing this to people.
I’m going to tell you something that is true in most relationships. Abusers threaten to kill themselves to control the narrative. They have to feel like they are the ones in control. When you threaten that control then all hell breaks loose. Just know they are trying to control you into silence...
They should. Rather they need to be doing regular checkups with the doctor that did the surgery or somebody at the clinic that specializes in that. Gynecologist specialize in women’s health. Not somebody who is biologically male. It’s like if they can see an OBGYN then for them that confirms they are in fact female but that isn’t the case whatsoever. Scientists have stated that there is no difference between the male and female brain. Which leads me to the next part. I believe it’s a mental illness if there is in fact no difference between the male and female brain. Mental illness part comes in over the obsession to physically alter their appearance and if not it means suicide. If the treatments work for some people great, however society can not be expected to be forced into believing the fantasy along with them. That’s a lie. I thought mental health was there to help keep people grounded in reality.
You said you want straight women. Make sure to realize you can’t just have a straight woman. That line of thinking strays towards a dangerous approach of if I transition I don’t want to tell them I’m transgender which is lying and sexual coercion that many transgenders engage in or think is something that shouldn’t matter. If you are a lesbian then you are lesbian. It sounds to me that you are more so struggling with your sexuality. You just want to say I’m a man and it’s ok I’m not a lesbian if I’m a man. Because I will technically be straight. Ask yourself what is so wrong about being with another woman as a woman.
You are a human being that is hurting. I don’t think you are a freak. I’m not for the whole transitioning stuff however that doesn’t mean I don’t believe people should just be treated as people. I’m sorry you are in turmoil but alas this is the thing that I see brings many people to this sub. The turmoil of not knowing exactly who you are and where you fit in this world.
I think fetishes can be harmful. It can keep you from being in a healthy sexual relationship with a significant other. I am a woman and I do not masturbate to images of my own body. I think the fact that you enjoy the female body is ok. However it is a little puzzling to me why you would choose to view your own body as a woman and masturbate to it rather than choosing to pursue a healthy relationship with a woman. I do not mean to make you feel bad but I think when they took away the title mental illness from being transgender they did a disservice to a lot of people struggling with this condition or thoughts. Instead of treating people and helping them form healthy functioning thoughts about themselves and other women/men they encouraged them to just transform and expected all their mental problems to disappear. Frankly it pisses me off what the medical community is doing. I’m glad you are taking the time to question your experiences and emotions about what you are going through. You are on the path to enlightenment.
You deserve to be treated as a human being and with compassion first off. I have struggled with depression on and off due to my childhood and it’s not just something you can wave a magic wand and fix it. There are days where I’m like why can’t I just be normal and not have to deal with this shit. I think the most important thing is figuring out what you want from life and where you see yourself. You can start small by achieving even the most simplistic goals. We all need a purpose and sometimes it’s hard to figure out what that is. I think you will find somebody that gets you one day. That loves you for you but you have to love yourself first dear heart. As woman I dated a lot of fucking assholes. I was in abusive relationships before I finally found somebody that respects me. I’m going to tell you from experience it better to be alone than to be treated like shit in a relationship. And if you have to change your whole identity just to get somebody to show some interest then the problem is with society and not you. I hate that you think you had to change who you are just to get a date. Fuck people and their ideologies on what the perfect partner should be.
Here is the thing though it is relevant. They are abusing their friends and family by saying I will kill myself if I don’t get this done right now. It might very well be true for some individuals. For the most part though I question whether as I just stated if it’s so they can control what is going on. That in itself is either enough to scare the parents into allowing their children to take hormones or family’s into not questioning what is going on. Just because somebody is mentally ill doesn’t mean they don’t have abusive tendencies and instant gratification seeking methods. It’s the obsession and mental illness actively making this happen so it turns into hell for everybody involved. I feel bad for all this stuff. It makes me so sad to see everybody trying to figure this out and still not living up to the standards of the trans community.
Wow! I watch this happening to so many people. Not trans myself just trying to figure out what leads many people down this path. I find that it’s alarming they don’t talk about how many people actually detrans. They only want to talk about how happy these people are now that they have received treatment they so desperately needed. I’m always quick to remind people that the medical field and field of psychology both have extremely dark past in experimental treatments on patients and why would it not make sense that this is an experiment that could go wrong as well. There is supposed to be a code of ethics that doctors follow which is to do no harm. However I think in pursuit of trying to help people they are in fact doing harm.