This story is from the comments by /u/AngelCrumb that are listed below, summarised with AI.
User Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags indicating it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user's perspective is highly detailed, internally consistent, and reflects a deeply personal, nuanced, and evolving understanding of their own experience with gender dysphoria, desisting, autism, and trauma. The language is natural, and the arguments are complex and self-reflective, which is not typical of bot behavior. The account's long-term engagement and the emotional weight of sharing traumatic experiences (e.g., sexual assault) further support its authenticity. The views expressed are well within the range of passionate, critical, and sometimes angry perspectives found among genuine desisters and detransitioners.
About me
I never felt like I fit in as a girl, and my discomfort with my body got worse during puberty. After a traumatic assault, I socially transitioned to male for three years, but it was an isolating and difficult time. Getting diagnosed with autism and starting trauma therapy were huge turning points for me. I realized my dysphoria was tied to being autistic and internalizing stereotypes, not from being born the wrong sex. I've since stopped transitioning, and I'm now comfortable living as a female and accepting my body.
My detransition story
My whole journey with gender started when I was really young. I never felt like I fit in with the other girls. I was a tomboy, and people were always pointing it out, asking if I was a boy or a girl, or telling me I acted like a boy. It made me feel like a failure as a girl. I also grew up in a Catholic environment, which added a lot of guilt and confusion around my body and my feelings.
My discomfort got a lot worse when I hit puberty. I hated the changes, especially developing breasts. Everyone told me I'd "grow out of" being a tomboy and become more feminine, but that never happened. I felt completely out of place watching my male friends grow up and become men while I was stuck in a body that felt wrong. I started to believe that the only way I could be happy was if I had been born male. I saw male bodies as superior and envied them. This feeling was my gender dysphoria, and it was diagnosed as early onset gender incongruence.
When I learned about being transgender in my mid-teens, it felt like an answer. I thought, "This explains everything." I told a friend I thought I might be trans, and that led to a traumatic sexual assault that made everything a thousand times worse. The assault was a hate crime, meant to "correct" me, and it made my hatred for my female body and my desire to be male even stronger. I wanted to be strong enough to never be a victim again.
I socially transitioned for about three years. I used a different name and bound my chest. But I faced a lot of transphobia and abuse in real life; people called me slurs and dehumanized me. It was a really isolating time. During this period, I was referred to a gender clinic. I mentioned that I suspected I might be autistic, and they actually diagnosed me with autism when I was 20. This was a huge turning point for me.
The clinician at the clinic also flagged my history of sexual assault and suggested I get trauma therapy before considering hormones. He warned me that hormones could potentially make autism symptoms worse, as they can change how autism presents. This made me pause. Getting the autism diagnosis helped me understand myself so much better. I realized that a lot of my dysphoria was tied to being autistic. I took social rules and gender stereotypes very literally and felt I could never live up to them. My brain works differently; it's more black-and-white. I also learned that gender dysphoria is very common in autistic people, but it doesn't necessarily mean you are trans.
I started trauma therapy for the assault, and my dysphoria began to lessen. I also had a profound experience with psychedelic drugs that caused an ego death. During that experience, I saw through all the social constructs, including gender. I realized that gender is just a set of ideas society forces on us based on our sex, and it’s not real. On a desert island with no society, I wouldn't care about gender at all. I saw that my body itself wasn't the problem; the problem was being taught to hate it because I didn't fit a stereotype. This was a massive relief.
I decided to stop my social transition. I didn't regret exploring it because it led me to my autism diagnosis and a deeper understanding of myself, but I was glad I never started hormones or had surgery. My dysphoria has faded significantly since then. I'm 23 now, and I'm comfortable living as a female, even though I'm still a tomboy. I'm engaged to my fiancé, and being in a loving relationship has also helped me feel more connected to and accepting of my body.
I don't believe I was ever truly trans. For me, gender dysphoria was a symptom of other things: being autistic, experiencing trauma, and internalizing society's harsh gender roles. I think it's dangerous that the current system often pushes medical transition without proper psychological evaluation, especially for young people and those with conditions like autism or PTSD. I strongly believe that therapy and addressing underlying issues should be the first step, not hormones and surgery. My dysphoria went away on its own as I got older and worked through my trauma and autism.
I don't have regrets about my social transition because it was part of my path to figuring things out, but I am so relieved I avoided permanent medical changes.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Early Childhood | Felt different, was a tomboy, people commented I "acted like a boy." |
| Puberty (Teens) | Hated breast development and female puberty. Dysphoria peaked. |
| Mid-Teens | Learned about being trans, socially identified as FTM. |
| Mid-Teens | Sexually assaulted after confiding in a friend about my gender confusion. |
| Age 20 | Referred to a gender clinic. Diagnosed with autism. |
| Age 20 | Clinician recommended trauma therapy before considering hormones. |
| Age 20 | Began trauma therapy. Had a psychedelic experience that led to ego death and a new perspective on gender. |
| Age 20 | Stopped social transition (detransitioned). |
| Age 23 | Comfortable living as a female, engaged, dysphoria is minimal. |
Top Reddit Comments by /u/AngelCrumb:
There needs to be more accountability on the medical systems part. I always hear “personal choice” etc, but when you’re dealing with people who often have extremely complex mental health issues e.g autism, PTSD, OCD, the main goal shouldn’t be ‘freedom to make the wrong choice’ but instead, treatment that is appropriate for the individual. Anything permanent like a mastectomy shouldn’t happen without a very rigorous psych evaluation
I'm autistic and paused my medical transition for the same reason. I ended up being diagnosed and i'm glad I didn't go any further because it turns out a lot of my dysphoria was being caused by autism issues and my dysphoria isn't as bad anymore. Definitely postpone, you can always do it later on if you change your mind but once it's gone, it's gone. Dysphoria sucks but its well-known that it can be heavily exacerbated by unaddressed issues e.g undiagnosed autism... which also has a huge suicide rate btw
It's because the bar for 'transphobia' is pretty much on the floor. Even if you only complain about your own personal regrets, or side effects you don't like, it's taken as evil gatekeeping and misinformation and ppl will lie and say you want to ban transition.
I went through similar being a tomboy. Even as a kid I would get people asking ‘is that a boy or a girl’ in a rude way, and then as I got older the whole trans thing started in my school and it just felt like maybe I was actually a guy. I started binding and socially transitioned for three years.
Eventually I snapped out of it after an autism diagnosis and a weird trip on a psychedelic, but wearing tomboy clothes to the extent I used to just isn’t the same anymore. I always worry I’d be perceived as trans. That being said, I’m trying to let go of that and indulge in the clothes I enjoyed wearing.
Because doctors are not supposed to ignore their duty of care in order to satisfy a political movement. I can understand when there’s laws preventing them from doing their duty but otherwise, they have to stand their ground. Thankfully more and more are speaking out
Despite what the media says, this is completely normal and also happened to me at age 19. I had dysphoria since I was age 4, it peaked during puberty and when puberty started to end it faded out. It’s one of the reasons I am now firmly against allowing children (< 21) to transition medically (socially is fine if it’s genuinely what they want).
I feel like that trans community can share things in common with the incel and femcel communities in the sense that, at some point it becomes a circlejerk of self hatred. Because lets be real, believing that you are trapped in the wrong body is inherently neurotic as a thought. It’s even worse when it’s also taking sexist stereotypes as fact and validating it. E.g boys can’t like ‘feminine’ things or they’re not really boys. Girls can’t like ‘masculine’ things or they’re not really girls. It becomes basically swapping one box for another whilst gaslighting yourself into believing that your body, your literal self, is the problem, not the fact you’re being stuffed into a box. Telling yourself, everything will be ok once you’ve stuffed yourself into this box, and to ignore all the potential injuries along the way because the other box was just far too stuffy.
Yeah I agree. I respect trans people but I’m against medical malpractice and that’s essentially what’s going on in care for trans youth and also others experiencing gender dysphoria. It’s been known for a long time that gender dysphoria isn’t a static condition in many cases, there should be an emphasis on non invasive treatments for trans youth that involve expression rather than risky treatments that may actually make a potential transition harder later. I also don’t agree with giving hormones to people without a psychological evaluation because the suicide risk for people suffering dysphoria is too high to risk without making sure other mental health issues are at least being dealt with and are known about. Hormones aren’t cold medicine.
Honestly I think it’s due to a lack of representation for tomboys and the false assumption that all tomboys are lesbians. If you grow up being told tomboys are gay, and you like men, it can become pretty easy to think you’d be happier as a gay man. Also tomboys tend to be very androgynous and struggle with puberty when they don’t ‘blossom’ into femininity. Growing breasts is annoying, so are periods and so are the expectations placed on teenage girls.
I was formally diagnosed with gender dysphoria, presenting from an early age. I just didn’t need to transition to be happy and the effects of HRT would risk worsening other conditions I have, so to me, transition wouldn’t be worth it. Sure if I had a magic button that could make me male, I’d try it, but transition isn’t magic. It seems painful, arduous and risky. I’ve come to terms with being in a female body, I don’t think I’m somehow a male brain or anything, it’s just that my psyche has a part that will crave being male probably due to my autism and the way I perceive sex and gender.