This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic detransitioner/desister.
The user expresses complex, personal, and often emotionally charged views that are consistent with the experiences of genuine desisters (they mention desisting and continuing to dress masculinely). The writing shows introspection, internal conflict, and a nuanced understanding of both trans and gender-critical spaces, which is not typical of a simple bot or troll. The passion and anger present are consistent with the harm and stigma mentioned in the prompt.
About me
I was a teenage girl who felt uncomfortable with my body and started believing I was a trans man after spending a lot of time online. My mother's strong opposition made me cling to that identity even more, but living as a man felt incredibly alienating and lonely. I realized my desire to transition was a form of escapism from my anxiety and low self-esteem. I never medically transitioned and now understand I was just a masculine woman uncomfortable with stereotypes. I'm now trying to live as myself, focusing on real-life connections instead of online debates.
My detransition story
My whole journey with this started when I was a teenager. I was a girl who never really fit in and was very uncomfortable with my body, especially when I went through puberty and developed breasts. I hated them. I felt like they marked me as something I didn't feel I was on the inside. I think a lot of my discomfort was just a normal part of growing up and being a girl who didn't like the stereotypes forced on her, but at the time, it felt much deeper.
I spent a lot of time online, and I was definitely influenced by what I saw. It seemed like every other person who was a little bit different was coming out as non-binary or trans. I felt that pressure too, like if I was a quirky or masculine girl, the natural next step was to identify out of womanhood. I started to believe that my discomfort meant I was actually a man. I began to socially transition, asking people to use a male name and pronouns for me. I got a binder to flatten my chest.
My mother was heavily against it. She was deep into gender critical ideology. She wouldn't let me see therapists who were supportive of transition, she stole and destroyed my binder, and she constantly asked me why I couldn't just be a butch lesbian. It created a huge rift between us. Her rejection made me want to cling to the trans identity even more, because it felt like it was mine and she was trying to take it away. I associated my birth name with being bullied and with my parents' rejection.
But living as a trans man was an incredibly alienating experience. People would validate me to my face, but I noticed they never really included me. No one asked me to hang out or invited me to parties. I realized that people, even if they weren't trying to be mean, just don't know how to act around trans people. They walk on eggshells, and it’s isolating. Humans seem to naturally pull away from those they see as mentally unwell, and that isolation just makes you feel worse.
I was also miserable seeing the trans community around me. It seemed like everyone was unhappy. And I got so sick of the online echo chambers, both trans and detransition spaces. They just drove me insane with all the arguing and focus on pain. I realized that spending all my time online being bombarded with this propaganda was terrible for my mental health.
I started to understand that a lot of my desire to transition was a form of escapism. I have always had low self-esteem and anxiety, and I was terrified of being judged. I had this conflicting desire to stand out but also to be accepted. I thought transitioning would solve that, but it didn't. It just made me a different kind of outsider.
I never took hormones or had any surgeries. I'm glad I didn't, because I eventually realized I didn't want to be a man. I don't see myself as a man and I never really did. I was a gender non-conforming woman who was deeply uncomfortable with the expectations placed on me. I’ve come to think that being GNC is like getting the worst parts of being a man and the worst parts of being a woman. You don’t fit anywhere.
I don’t have a gender identity. I don't walk around thinking "I identify as a woman." I just am. I think truly "cisgender" people, in the way the term is used now, are probably rarer than we think. Most people just exist in their bodies without all this intense thought about identity.
I don't regret exploring my gender because it led me to this understanding, but I do regret the time I lost and the pain I put myself through. I think it would be much healthier for people with body dysphoria if we viewed transition as a form of body modification rather than a complete change of identity.
Now, I'm trying to just live as myself, a masculine woman. It’s hard because sometimes I feel pressure to be hyperfeminine just so people will treat me better, but it always brings the dysphoria back. I’m trying to get off the internet and connect with real women in my life, which has helped a lot.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 13-14 | Started puberty; began feeling intense discomfort with my body and hated developing breasts. |
| 15 | Spent significant time online; influenced by seeing others transition; began to believe I was a trans man. |
| 16 | Started social transition; asked people to use a male name and pronouns; purchased a chest binder. |
| 16-17 | Faced strong opposition from my gender-critical mother; she destroyed my binder and rejected my identity. |
| 17 | Experienced severe social alienation while identifying as trans; realized people excluded me. |
| 17 | Began to question my transition, realizing it was a form of escapism from anxiety and low self-esteem. |
| 17 | Stopped identifying as a trans man and began the process of destransitioning back to living as a woman. |
Top Comments by /u/AngryGothBoi:
Being trans is a very alienating experience. People will lie to your face and validate you because they're afraid of what would happen if they didn't, but they exclude you in subtle ways. When I realized that no one ever asked me to hang out or invited me to parties I didn't understand why until I realized that people just don't want to hang out with trans people. They feel the need to walk on eggshells all the time. Humans are hardwired to ignore and abandon the mentally ill, unfortunately, which leads to a vicious cycle where mentally ill people are ignored and abandoned and then they become even more mentally ill as a result of said abandonment.
Yeah, my mother is actual an avid Gender Critical. She wouldn’t let me go to therapists that were pro-trans which led to us switching therapists a lot, she would always send 4thwavenow articles to my father, she gossiped about me in Facebook groups called something like “Parents of ROGD kids” where parents would encourage each other to send their kids to boarding school because they were trans-ID’d, she stole my binder and destroyed it, and neither of my parents agreed to use opposite-sex pronouns with me. She would always ask me why I couldn’t just be a butch lesbian, but then when I finally did desist and continued to dress in a masculine way, she still complained and said my style was sloppy and I should wear something nice like a dress. Whenever she sees a vaguely masculine looking woman on TV she asks my dad if she’s trans.
the reality is that as a feminine gay man it is very very unlikely that I'll find love
If you were still a trans woman it would be just as difficult if not more so. Very few men want to be with a trans woman longterm, they just see them as fetish objects
It's so wild that 'transphobia' is treated as akin to literal fascism, considering it's genuinely just a concern with a particular methodology of assimilating dysphoric gay and nonconforming people into society
The problem is that the majority of people who are "transphobic" are "transphobic" in a conservative way and not in a gender critical/gender abolitionist way. They dislike trans idealogy because they hate ALL GNC people, not just trans people
why is it I can't walk 20 yards without passing a she/they or someone else clearly trying to send the "NLOG/B" signals?
I get sick of walking into the ladies' room and there being a 6'5 man and 3 theybys who stink of vape and BO and are covered in body mods.
Bull ring nose piercings, tattoos on every visible patch of skin, stinky odd fitting mismatched clothes.
Calling yourself a "she/they" because you have some stereotypically "masculine" behaviors is quite literally the opposite of being gender non-conforming. And there is no one way to "send NLOG/NB signals." Not every woman who dresses in a masculine or androgynous way is an enby. And I don't know why you have a problem with "theybys" in women's bathroom when like 99% of them are biologically female, would you rather them use the men's?
There are literally hundreds of posts in this subreddit about people's experiences with homophobia and you're telling me my experiences didn't happen? What would I gain from lying about this? If gender non-conforming people aren't demonized, then why do hundreds of young masculine lesbians and feminine gay men detransitiom every year?
I’ve been going through the same thing for nearly a decade now. Whenever I try to express this to anyone they tell me to “just be myself.” I’m so fucking sick of being told to “be myself” by people who have never had to struggle for being themselves. It’s exhausting because I can’t tell you the amount of times I thought I made a genuine connection with someone but they never wanted to actually maintain a friendship or relationship because they didn’t want to be seen in public with me.
IMO, this sounds like you are are either a sexually traumatized straight dude who experiences meta-attraction to men (I.E. you have convinced yourself you are attracted to men because it validates your female identity), or you are a sexually traumatized bisexual who repressed their attraction to men for years.
I heard someone say that being a GNC person is like experiencing the worst parts of being a man and the worst parts of being a woman at the same time. I’ve been considering trying to force myself to dress hyperfemininely again because everyone treated me so much better but the dysphoria always comes back
Even other trans women in my life have though I was a trans woman, so it definitely is not accurate to label myself as cis.
Maybe this is just cope on my part, but I think truly “cisgender” people are much rarer than we think. Most “cisgender” women don’t walk around thinking “I identify as a woman” the way trans people do. They just exist in their bodies without thinking about this stuff because they’re effortlessly gender conforming, so by modern trans standards they would be more accurately described as agender because they have no gender identity, they just accept the role society has imposed upon them. Plus I find it hard to believe that every woman hasn’t fantasized about being a man at least once
I don’t want to let go of my male name. It represents something that belongs to me and me alone. Plus I associate my birth name with being heavily bullied by people who would “deadname” me constantly and my parents who refused to call me by my male name. But every time I tell people that I used to go my (insert male name) they laugh.