This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic actor.
The comments display a consistent, passionate, and highly specific viewpoint common among some detransitioners/desisters. The user employs personal anecdotes, psychological reasoning, and a blunt, often harsh, tone that is not atypical for someone who feels harmed by their experience. The arguments are nuanced and multi-faceted, which is not characteristic of a simple bot or troll script.
About me
I started feeling deeply uncomfortable with my body as a teenage male and found online communities that convinced me my distress was gender dysphoria. I began taking hormones in my early twenties, believing I could become a woman, but I eventually realized that passing completely was an illusion. I came to see that my real issues were depression and anxiety, not a need to change my sex. I regret the permanent effects of the hormones, like infertility, which I now see as a solution to a temporary problem. Now I've stopped hormones and am living as a male again, trying to move on from the whole experience.
My detransition story
My whole journey with this started when I was a teenager. I was deeply uncomfortable with my body, especially during puberty. I hated the changes that were happening to me as a male. I felt like I didn't fit in and I was struggling with a lot of depression and anxiety. I spent a huge amount of time online, and that's where I found communities that seemed to have an answer for my feelings: they said it was gender dysphoria.
I came to believe that I could actually become a woman. I thought medical transition would allow me to become indistinguishable from a female. That was the goal. I started taking hormones in my early twenties. For a while, it felt like a solution. I was expressing femininity and, on the surface, it seemed to address the discomfort I felt.
But over time, I became more and more self-aware about the reality of my situation. I started to realize that passing completely, in every situation, was an illusion. I saw so many other people in the community who were convinced they were "stealth," but it was obvious to me they weren't. Human psychology is powerful; when you want something to be true, your mind can hide the reality from you. I think a lot of people are able to delude themselves into believing they pass, but I was too aware to live like that. I'd see people getting stared at and they would just tune it out, but I couldn't.
My thoughts on gender have changed. I don't believe we are just blank slates. I think there are innate differences between males and females that go far beyond socialization. Nurture follows nature. The idea that you can take hormones and surgery and fully become the opposite sex is, I believe, a fantasy. It’s an attempt to overcome biology that can never be fully realized.
Looking back, I regret transitioning. I regret believing that medical intervention was the answer to my deeper problems, which were more about depression, low self-esteem, and a discomfort with puberty. I turned being trans into a hobby, obsessing over it online and neglecting other parts of my life. I was influenced by what I read and by the people I talked to in those spaces.
I never got any surgeries, but I took hormones for several years. I'm now infertile because of that, and that's a serious regret. It's a permanent consequence of a decision I made when I was trying to solve a temporary problem. I think a lot of people who transition young are going to face a wake-up call later in life when they realize they've gone down a path that makes building a family and finding deeper purpose much harder.
Therapy wasn't a solution for me. It was just a dialogue. It didn't help me figure out if I was "really" a girl or a boy. What I needed was help understanding the patterns of my own thoughts and the distress I was feeling, not an affirmation of a new identity.
Now, I'm trying to move forward. I've stopped hormones and am living as a male again. The whole experience has made me very cautious about the narratives surrounding transition, especially for young people who are struggling.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 14-15 | Started feeling intense discomfort with male puberty, depression, and anxiety. Spent a lot of time online. |
| 22 | Started taking estrogen hormones, believing I could become a woman. |
| 25-26 | Began to realize the reality of "passing" was an illusion for most people, including myself. Started to question my transition. |
| 28 | Stopped taking hormones. Accepted that I am male and began to detransition. |
Top Comments by /u/Annual-Let-964:
Lots of trans people that dived in during their early twenties are going to have wake up calls when they turn 30 and its not cool anymore to be an edgy loner/stoner/rebel whatever. And people around them are starting families and continuing that human experiment (creating the next generation, that 100s of our ancestors before us found fulfillment in).
There are going to be so many lonely bitter "millenials" based on current relationship trends. Just thinking of all the bitter childless people that will be running around in their 50s and 60s looking for a "purpose" makes me cringe. Probably will turn into political radicals to fill the void of having no family.
That being said, not everyone is fertile. And its just something you will have to live with.
You probably do not pass. Most MtFs think they pass when they don't. Its a very very very common trend in the trans community for MtFs to over-estimate their ability to pass.
I have seen literal ogres claim to be "stealth" before. I have met many many MtFs in person who think they are stealth when they are very obvious and don't pass.
You ask, how is this possible? Well human psychology is infinitely adaptable and when you want something to be true your mind will endlessly hide from reality to achieve that goal.
I have a very narrow view of passing that for me it’s the ultimate goal and I just want to live life without thinking about being trans all the time
You are screwed if this is your mindset. The trans community is completely off-base when it comes to passing and "what it takes" to pass and how many MtFs actually pass.
If anything maybe it means you will be more satisfied. I think the people who are most unhappy with transition are those who are
Self-aware and intelligent
Think they can actually "become" the opposite sex or become indistinguishable.
If you are dumb you can pretend that you pass and live in the uncanny valley.
how im referred to as she/her in public by strangers
Thats not definitive of much unfortunately. Passing is contextual. A lot of people can pass to rando strangers for a few seconds. Try going on a date or meeting family of a partner. More intimate experiences, it all comes crashing down.
Even having sex, men will clock, still have sex, and not even admit to themselves that they had sex with a TS, despite clocking. They know something is wrong, but struggle to pinpoint.
Sounds like you want to be pretty and express femininity and be admired for feminine beauty.
My advice is don't get to wrapped up in yourself. There is more to life than how you look and how you express yourself. If you find yourself browsing trans forums everyday, then you have turned this into a hobby, and you are probably neglecting other aspects of your life.
Most therapists are not very helpful for questions of identity. Therapists can be helpful to help illuminate patterns of behavior or thoughts that are creating distress in your life. They are not there to tell you if you are a girl or a boy or if you should have long hair and wear make up or if you should go to the gym and get jacked or if you should fuck men and women.
Therapy is not a solution, its a simple dialogue.
Its possible to take estrogen and suppress your testosterone while preventing your penis from shrinking much but you will not be able to prevent your testicles from shrinking and there is not guarantee you will remain fertile though it likely that you would be fertile after discontinuing HRT.
They have observed infants and infants display gender preferences. The idea that all differences between how male and female brains work is "socialization" is simply ridiculous.
The implication is that brains are the ONLY thing that is the "same" between males and females because literally every single thing about us physically is different, due to evolution.
I am not discounting socialization.
But nurture follows nature in this case.
There is a general trend in leftist philosophy to presume that all humans are inherently "the same", just blank slates brought into the world, despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary.
My only advice to you is that if you goal is to be "100%" passing, you will never be happy. Unless you are dumb and essentially delude yourself. Which as I said is very common. Like I have walked behind MtFs that get stared at and they think they are stealth, they just tune it all out. But some people are too self aware to live like that