This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic actor.
Reasoning:
- The comments show a consistent, nuanced, and personal perspective that evolves over time, which is difficult for bots to replicate.
- The user shares specific, practical advice (e.g., surgical risks, therapist screening questions) and references real-world experiences and resources, indicating genuine engagement.
- The passion, frustration, and detailed exploration of social dynamics align with the expected viewpoint of a desister/detransitioner who feels marginalized.
- There is no evidence of scripted or repetitive bot-like behavior. The writing style is conversational and varies appropriately with the topic.
About me
I was a teenage girl who felt out of place and hated the changes my body went through during puberty. I was influenced online to believe I was a trans man, and I took testosterone and had top surgery. I now see my discomfort was rooted in low self-esteem and society's rigid expectations of women. I deeply regret the permanent changes and have found peace through therapy that addressed my underlying issues. I've learned that I was always a masculine woman, and that is perfectly okay.
My detransition story
My whole journey with gender started when I was a teenager. I was a girl who never really fit in with the hyperfeminine expectations around me. I was more into sports and rational thinking, and I felt a lot of discomfort with my body, especially during puberty. I hated developing breasts; it felt like they were a symbol of everything I wasn't and didn't want to be. I now see that a lot of this was tied to low self-esteem and a form of body dysmorphia, where I couldn't see my body for what it was, only for what it represented to me.
I started identifying as non-binary first. It felt like a safe middle ground. I was heavily influenced by online communities and friends who were also exploring their gender. The language and ideas made sense to me at the time; it explained the discomfort I felt. This eventually led me to believe I was a trans man. I think a part of this was also internalized homophobia; it was easier to think of myself as a straight man than to accept being a masculine, potentially gay woman.
I took testosterone for a while. I never got bottom surgery, but I did get top surgery. I was so focused on the immediate relief I thought it would bring that I didn't fully research the long-term risks. I regret that now. I know people who have had chronic pain and restricted movement from their mastectomies, and I was lucky to avoid some of the worst complications, but the surgery is a permanent change I can't take back. I am now infertile from the hormones, which is a serious and lasting consequence I have to live with.
My detransition began when I started to think more critically. I stepped away from the online echo chambers and started talking to a wider range of people, including older folks who had a different perspective on life and politics. I benefited greatly from non-affirming therapy. A therapist who was willing to work with me to treat my gender dysphoria as a mental health concern, rather than a physical one, helped me immensely. We worked through my depression, anxiety, and the root causes of my poor self-esteem.
I no longer believe I was ever truly trans. I believe I was a masculine woman who was deeply uncomfortable with the stereotypes and expectations placed on me. I think our society is incredibly confused about gender right now; we can't decide if we're enforcing stereotypes or abolishing them, and it's creating a lot of suffering. I regret transitioning. I regret the permanent changes I made to my body. I miss my old self.
I now believe that it is good and healthy to be a masculine woman. My personality and interests don't make me any less of a woman. I feel like I've lost friends over this realization, as the community I once belonged to now sees my views as transphobic, when all I'm doing is talking about my own experience and believing that it's okay to be a woman who doesn't like dresses.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 14 | Started feeling intense discomfort with puberty and developing breasts. |
| 17 | Began identifying as non-binary, influenced by online spaces and friends. |
| 19 | Started taking testosterone. |
| 21 | Underwent top surgery (double mastectomy). |
| 23 | Stopped testosterone and began the process of detransition. |
| 24 | Started therapy that addressed underlying self-esteem and dysmorphia, not affirmation. |
| 25 | Came to accept myself as a masculine woman and fully detransitioned. |
Top Comments by /u/AntelopeTop2079:
A lot of society can be considered "narcissistic," but if you break it down, narcissism is essentially obsession about oneself and/or caring more about oneself than others.
The trans community inherently obsesses about & prioritizes themselves & their feelings over others. It is generally rooted in poor self esteem, & it is more common in males than females.
Vanity... I swear it's the root of all evil!
I've mentioned r/detrans to a few folks who were reaching out on lgbt subreddits... I DM folks who go on LGBT/trans subreddits saying "am I trans?" sometimes just to let them know they won't be able to receive balance criticism because of the ban-happy culture & offer up conversation / resources.
Most of them are cool. About 1/2 have had actual polite conversations with me & were grateful I cared enough to DM them. I'll stop mentioning this subreddit though.. the last thing we need is a ban/spam.
One post I was banned for (can't say the subreddit, but it wasn't an exclusively trans one):
"Respectfully, Although I do agree that we should be more inclusive by giving a nod to Men's Mental Health awareness month instead of overtaking it with Pride, I would argue that most people didn't even realize that it was Men's Mental Health awareness month until the Right brought up that lately everything is about Pride & men's mental health is being overshadowed.
& Women's Rights similarly feels like a landmine lately. Topics related to sex don't get talked about as much during this month because the Right and Left can't define 'women,' & I feel like every time I've observed the conversation about women's rights referring to females or worldwide issues women face, it's called 'transphobic.'"
OMG YES!! I swear this is society's problem: We can't agree whether to enforce gender stereotypes or not & it's confusing everyone! Some cultures have defined sex roles. Others are pretty laid back or vastly different from our ideas of gender stereotypes. We ended up with this odd amalgamation of Ideologies & nobody can stop talking about gender & somehow nobody knows what words mean anymore! People comment on my androgyny all the time, but if I speak about it, it's considered transphobic:
"I relate to gender dysphoric trans folks, but I'm a gender dysphoric non-trans person & my life is great!" & "women having rights around the world & the ability to talk about their struggles is important." Oh & "Most people I've talked to irl have some sort of discomfort with their natal sex or something they envy about the opposite sex, but they eventually accept their bodies (& some are always critical of their bodies, but you can overcome that)."
Please tell me if any of y'all think that any of the above is truly transphobic.
I honestly think it's an education thing. Kids learn to distinguish themselves from others around that age, exploring differences. They probably saw their naked mother before they had conscious memories & later wondered if they would develop into the same thing. Right after that stage, by the way, is the "poop" stage; they tend to become obsessed with excrement! We're supposed to teach our young. We're supposed to teach them to identify similarities & differences between categories of things, including body parts.
On the feelings front, I've heard so many stories from so many people who became dysphoric at different ages with different relationships with their gendered bodies. I'm convinced that many of us go through discomfort in our bodies. Sometimes it relates to objectification, & sometimes to how we're treated in accordance with stereotypes rather than diverse beings with diverse interests.
I feel you! Here is what I have observed. I welcome comments from those who feel both similarly or different in their experiences:
Unfortunately, those of us who feel more comfortable with men tend to gravitate towards effeminate men to teach us how to interact better with women. Let's face it: They also usually objectify us less. Those men (or at least the most effeminate ones) have probably had a gender identity crisis lately. For the ones who have transitioned, they will likely scold you harshly for misgendering them or being frustrated about other people misgendering.
It's not like transition in the old days... the modern transitioner wants to immediately demand to go from having an effeminate demeanor but a male body to someone who is expressing hyperfemininity in their both their demeanor and their bodies (sometimes overnight). The male you're comfortable with chose to exit the category of "male." This means our options of humans to hang out with just got smaller. We now have to hang out with one of the following:
Females who have transitioned (FtMs) & genuinely believe something different than we do (many of whom used to be our best friends but now believe we're "eggs," too)
Females we don't relate to because they're hyperfeminine & remind us what trans women are attempting to be (which is definitely not us, so we don't want to do the nail salon date or put on makeup or earrings or dresses or shopping, & they don't want to play sports or hike) - if you do want to hang out with these women, try yoga?
Males who are hypermasculine (who tend to objectify us or only hang out 1:1 because they act differently with a woman in the room around other men).
Males who are effeminate or MtFs (1/4 of whom believe they're women trapped in male bodies & we're "eggs")
Females who, like us, are either "eggs" or strong, protective, independent, confident, rational women.
I believe that it can be GOOD to be both female AND have a protective, assertive, confident, rational, goal-oriented, sporty demeanor. I believe that our personality does not mean that we don't still have hormone fluctuations & the capacity for pregnancy. We created words for those long ago so that the previous sentence wouldn't be so long: It can be GOOD to be a masculine woman.
That is the manifesto of a "TERF," which is an Ideology that has been banned from polite society. Just because we're a bullied minority in society because our behaviors fall within the overlap of male & female (non-cis, non-trans?) doesn't make us less categorically "women." I, for one, often feel insulted when effeminate men who used to be my best friends refer to me as a "woman" in ways that have nothing to do with being a woman. If they had spoken to me previously, I would have corrected them, but no longer can without a fight if they are Gender Ideologues.
Those of us who are masculine & have been bullied or made to feel less like a woman lately have so few people to talk to!! Seriously... try yoga or another co-ed sporty place. That might help find females you can better relate to?
I don't know if it would also be the opposite if flipped or if that dynamic is different, but this is what I have observed amongst women. Hope it helps you step closer to healing, friends, & please comment if you agree/disagree? I want to hear other experiences & thoughts 🧡
Hi. Thank you for asking detransitioners/desisters. Many of us are banned from the rest of the community.
My advice:
- Take things super slowly. If you have doubts, know that you can always wait.
- Think about it critically.
- Have you researched the risks of surgery?
- Have you ever had any other invasive medical procedures?
I understand your confusion, but I meant talking to older folks about politics or masectomies.
Risks of breast removal are a bit more than not having boobs... Obviously, with any invasive surgery death is possible (I have a relative who died getting tonsils removed).
Other risks, though, include chronic pain, phantom breast pain, axillary web syndrome, restricted upper body movement/shoulder discomfort, & lymphedema. Pain can be caused by nerve injuries that occur when sensory nerves are stretched, transected, or caught in scar tissue during healing.
The above is from a quick Google search, but this checks; I've known a few people who underwent masectomies for breast cancer who had similar concerns/challenges.
Obviously you can make whatever decision fits you the best, but I'd talk to some old people first if i were you. Politics tends to oscillate between red & blue in the US every 4-8 years, so I wouldn't rush a major medical decision just because of politics. & if the word 'major' seems extreme to you, I'd do some research on when surgery went wrong for folks. There are no medical codes in the US for 'detrans,' so a lot of stats are skewed. Blue states will likely still be blue for the near future. Red states will likely enact cautious policies about kids & public spaces, but I think it's leaning towards not adults. Just my 2 cents. Take it or leave it, but either way thank you for listening.
You could Red Pill them LOL No... seriously sometimes you have to ask all prospective new therapists if they've ___insert here ___ ex: read Abigail Shrier or Dr. Az Hakeem or have traditional views or are willing to work with someone who views gender dysphoria as a mental health disorder to be treated in the mind
I can send you links if you'd like to sum up diff trans perspectives if your therapist is actually interested in learning from others. Gender: A Wider Lens on YouTube are therapists who might have a recommendations therapists.