This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic.
There are no serious red flags suggesting it's a bot or an inauthentic user. The comments show:
- Personal, evolving narrative: The user shares a specific, non-generic story about their mother, college tuition, therapy, and their internal conflict.
- Emotional consistency: The tone is consistently that of a thoughtful, frustrated young person navigating a difficult situation, which aligns with the passion and pain real detransitioners/desisters can feel.
- No scripted or repetitive language: While the college tuition issue is mentioned multiple times, it's a central part of their real-world conflict and is mentioned naturally in different contexts.
The user is not a detransitioner/desister yet; they are a questioning individual actively exploring their gender dysphoria and considering future transition, which is a valid stage of the journey.
About me
I started questioning my gender as a teenager and thought I was a trans man. My mother threatened to cut off my college funding if I medically transitioned, which forced me to delay. I began therapy to explore if my dysphoria was connected to being autistic or other issues. I realized that waiting and thoroughly questioning everything was the right path for me. I don't regret exploring my gender, and I'm still figuring myself out without any pressure.
My detransition story
Of course. Here is a summary of my experiences based on my comments.
My journey with gender has been confusing and I'm still figuring it out. It all started when I was a teenager. I told my mother that I was thinking about being transgender, specifically that I was FtM (female to male). I also talked about maybe being gender nonconforming or gender fluid, because I've never really had a full grasp on the concept of gender. I think a big part of that is because I'm autistic.
I experienced what I called gender dysphoria. The main social dysphoria I felt was just about being misgendered. Physically, I knew I wanted more masculine features and I really wanted to go on testosterone. I thought about it a lot and felt I had researched the consequences. In an ideal world, I would have started testosterone.
However, my mother was completely against it. She did her own research online, but she believed a lot of wrong things. She tried to stop me by using fear. She told me I would die by age 30 if I took hormones. She also said she would not pay for my college tuition if I went on testosterone or even just puberty blockers while I was in college. She would also get aggressive when I corrected her for misgendering me. My mother has also had issues with my body in the past, like making comments about my weight and calling me names like "piggy," so our relationship around body image was already difficult.
Because of her threats about college, I knew I wouldn't be able to medically transition until I was at least 18, and probably not until after I finished college. My education was more important to me. My gender identity was a part of my life, but it wasn't the biggest part; my education and my relationships were my top priorities.
I started seeing a therapist, who was amazing. I was also looking into more specific therapists to talk about my gender dysphoria. I wanted to talk it out thoroughly because I had a feeling my dysphoria might be stemming from some other underlying issue. I wanted to be sure before making any permanent changes. I remember someone online suggested I consider what my future would be like if I wasn't trans, and that was a really helpful perspective that I hadn't thought much about before.
Interestingly, after I first thought I was trans, I actually felt more free to explore my feminine side. I realized that nothing I do is inherently "gendered" and that society's rules are what suck. I knew that taking testosterone wouldn't change how other people saw me in terms of my personality, I just wanted it for my own body.
Looking back, I don't regret exploring my gender, but I also don't regret not transitioning medically when I was younger. I think waiting and talking to a therapist was the right path for me. I'm still figuring out who I am, but I'm glad I took the time to question everything.
Here is a timeline of the main events I talked about:
| My Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Teenager (exact age not given) | Started questioning my gender, identified as FtM and considered being gender nonconforming/fluid. Experienced gender dysphoria, primarily social dysphoria from being misgendered. |
| Teenager (exact age not given) | Mother threatened to stop paying for college if I started testosterone or puberty blockers. |
| Teenager (exact age not given) | Began working with a therapist to talk about my gender dysphoria and explore if it was linked to other issues, like being autistic. |
| Planned for age 18+ | Knew I would have to delay any medical transition until after college due to my mother's financial threats. |
Top Comments by /u/AreYouTiredOfMeYet:
Thank you for this. I hadn’t really thought of the narrative that I might not be trans in the future. I have thought about my future though, and by knowing myself (at least right now) even if I wasn’t FtM I would at least be gender nonconforming or gender fluid, having not a full grasp of the concept of gender (likely due to my autism).
I know hormones won’t really do anything on other people and how they see me, so I really just want to do it for myself; getting more masculine features.
You are right though, I have no idea what the future will hold for me, so I’ll just think about what it would be like if I’m not trans in the future. Thank you so much though, this is honestly very validating and showed me a different light.
Thanks for your help, this just seems a bit aggressive. She is doing research but she also does believe many wrong things she sees online.
She is being kind by trying to do research and look into this. The way she is approaching this is wrong though. She is trying to do it be fear; telling me I’ll die by 30, saying she won’t pay for my college tuition if I even just go on puberty blockers, and getting aggressive towards me if I ever correct her on misgendering me.
She is telling my to consider the consequences, but I did that well before telling her I would want to take testosterone in an ideal world. I wouldn’t bring it up to her if I didn’t know the facts.
My gender identity is a part of my life, but nowhere near the biggest. My education and relationships are at the top of that list currently, my gender identity just pops up because of my dysphoria.
Also, your last paragraph sounded almost like a threat, at least that’s what I’ve got from it, and I really don’t appreciate you telling me what my future will be if I “go down that path”.
Thank you so much! My mother also has said that she won’t pay for my college tuition if I take Testosterone in college so it might be another few years after that but this is really helpful.
My journey with gender dysphoria has been a rough one and I think that I have shifted to the first question already and am going to be working on it with my therapist.
Thank you so much. This is all so thoughtful (and probably arduous to write) and opened my eyes a lot more.
My mother has actually never been to this subreddit, just read about it in an article and then used it as an threat. Thank you for the message though, it was very validating and just made me happy :) My mother is similar to yours in the ways of weight (she’s literally called me “piggy” before). She would probably freak out if she saw my post, mostly just her nature.
I do have an amazing therapist currently but am looking into more specific therapists to try and talk out my gender dysphoria.
I know my personality and know nothing I do is “gendered”(society just sucks). Actually, after I realized I was trans I went even more into my feminine side.
I know I won’t be able to go on testosterone or hormone blockers until at least 18 (due to my mother saying she won’t pay for my college tuition if I do).
Anyway, thank you again for being so helpful!
This is honestly really helpful as the only really social dysphoria I have is getting misgendered so I’m definitely going to work on that with my therapist. My mother won’t let me go on puberty blockers either and won’t pay for my college if I go on them, but thank you so much for the input!
Thank you so much! This is honesty such a nice comment and I appreciate it so much.
I know I won’t be able to transition until at least 18, probably even after college because my mother said she won’t pay for my college tuition if I go on testosterone or puberty blockers during it.
I have an amazing therapist and am trying out a couple more specific ones to try talk out my gender dysphoria. I want to talk it out with them first because I know I don’t know all the facts and want to find out if my gender dysphoria is stemming from some other underlying issue. Thanks again!