This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic actor.
The comments demonstrate:
- Consistent, nuanced viewpoints focused on escapism, self-acceptance, and criticism of medical transition.
- Personal experience is implied in the advice (e.g., "Trying to escape manhood just forced me to confront it even more").
- Engagement with specific user details (e.g., Snoo avatars, Discord) shows responsive, contextual interaction.
- The passionate and critical tone is consistent with a genuine detransitioner or desister who feels harmed by their experience.
The account presents as a real person sharing a strong, consistent perspective based on lived experience.
About me
I'm a guy who started exploring transition online because I felt like a failure as a man. I found validation in female personas and online communities, which felt like an escape from my insecurities. I realized I was trying to fix my self-hatred by becoming a fantasy version of myself, not by addressing my real problems. I stopped and focused on accepting myself as the nerdy, slim male that I am, building a real life I don't want to escape from. Now I see that true freedom comes from rejecting stereotypes, not from trying to become someone else.
My detransition story
My whole journey with this started from a place of feeling like I didn't fit in as a guy. I was a nerdy, skinny male, and I felt insecure about not being a "real man" according to what society seemed to expect. I spent a lot of time online, on places like Discord and social media, and I started to see transitioning as an escape from my own life. It looked like a way to become someone completely different, a fantasy female version of myself that would fix all my problems. I now see that this was a form of escapism, driven by low self-esteem and a dissatisfaction with my life.
I never went through with any medical procedures. I only transitioned socially, and mostly online. I started to believe that because I liked using female avatars in games or online spaces, it meant something deeper. I felt a sense of validation from people online who would treat me as a girl. It made me feel special and part of an exclusive community. Being just a regular cis guy felt boring and didn't get you any attention. Putting different pronouns in your bio suddenly made you interesting.
But over time, I realized that transitioning wasn't going to fix the fundamental issues I had. My insecurities about being a "weak man" would have just turned into insecurities about being a "manly woman." It was just another fantasy. I had to stop trying to escape reality. A huge part of that was cutting down on porn and social media, which both fed this envious, narrow view of other people's lives and made me hate my own.
I came to understand that the problem wasn't that I was born in the wrong body; the problem was that I didn't love or accept myself as the male that I am. I had to realize that not being a sporty, jacked jock doesn't make you a failed man. Being a nerdy, slim guy is perfectly okay, and a lot of people find that attractive. I started to focus on real-world changes, like picking up offline hobbies and starting to exercise, not to become ultra-masculine, but just to feel better in my own skin and build a life I didn't want to escape from.
Looking back, I think a lot of the trans community encourages this idea that you have to transition as early as possible, but I believe that's a terrible idea. It's always better to delay, especially because the treatments are so experimental. You can always change your mind later if you really want to, but you can't always undo the changes. I also saw how the community can reinforce the very gender stereotypes it claims to be against. They tell you that if you don't conform to stereotypes for your sex, you must be a different gender. It's insidious.
I don't regret exploring my gender because it led me to where I am now, but I am deeply relieved that I didn't pursue medical intervention. My thoughts on gender now are that it's mostly just a set of stereotypes. Most people don't perfectly identify with traditional notions of what a man or woman is. That's normal. Trying to cram yourself into a shape you weren't born as only makes you more hyper-aware of and unhappy with your natural features. For me, trying to escape manhood just forced me to confront it even more.
My journey was about learning to be me, the real me, not a fantasy version.
Age | Event |
---|---|
Teenage Years (exact age not specified) | Felt like a nerdy, skinny male who didn't fit in. Struggled with low self-esteem and used the internet for escapism. |
Young Adult (exact age not specified) | Began social transition online, using female avatars and pronouns. Felt validation from online communities. |
Young Adult (exact age not specified) | Realized transition was an escapist fantasy. Started to cut down on porn and social media. Began to accept myself as male. |
Young Adult (exact age not specified) | Stopped identifying as trans. Focused on self-improvement through hobbies and exercise. |
Top Comments by /u/Ashmondo:
To be honest, most trans "allies" are just playing along to be polite. They are using your pronouns because they care for you, and don't want to hurt your feelings. Going back to the way things were will be a bit of a relief.
Parents are fully aware that a trans identity leads to medical intervention, and I suspect your parents will be relieved that you won't have to go through that. They'll be glad know that you're back to being the original you.
Also, parents know life is confusing for young people, and that everyone has phases. Don't feel humiliated, it's just a part of growing up.
When your whole life is based on getting others to validate your beliefs, it makes sense you start convincing as many people as you can that what you're doing is ok, especially young kids.
Hence why most organised religions traditionally tried to gets kids to become believers asap, rather than letting them grow up and make their own choice.
my life has been so much better just being one online with ppl
Is this to do with Discord or VR chat?
Please don't medically transition because you get validation by being a girl online. This might be your hobby now, but medical transition will permanently alter your body. I suspect that this is a form of escapism. Are people online telling you that you should be a girl?
Remember that most of this treatment is experimental and so it's really down to you. You can always postpone it if you aren't sure now and pick it up later when you're older. Treatment is based off your feelings and what makes you happy, so there's nothing wrong with telling them that you're afraid.
I was in the same boat as you. Nerdy skinny male etc. There are 2 parts to getting out.
A: stop trying to escape reality.
1: stop watching porn.
2: massively cut down on social media, Including discord servers where this is prevalent in discussion. It tends to make us envious of the lives of others, without considering that they have their own problems too. It shows us a narrow shallow view of others, and you miss nothing by leaving it out. Nothing on Insta or discord will ever improve your life in a meaningful way.
3: Transitioning will not fix the fundamental issues in your life. It is another escapist fantasy. Your insecurities about being a "weak man" will just become insecurities about being a "manly woman". Focus on being you; the real you, not the fantasy female version of you.
B: Realise the truth (you are male). From there, make real world change to improve your life.
1: Love yourself for who you are. This doesn't mean you believe that you are perfect, but you are on a journey to self improvement that you can and will make. You are climbing a mountain and either it flattens out or you get better at climbing.
Realise that not being a jacked sporty jock doesn't make you a failed man. You can improve your life without being (or wanting to be) "masculine". Being a nerdy guy is cooler than you think. A lot of people find slim guys attractive.
Optional, but I'd recommend getting offline hobbies, which can help you grow as a man and help you take your mind off things or meet new people. Find something you like, art; reading; hiking, cooking, or just walking and do it regularly.
Start to exercise. THIS IS NOT to tell you to become a ultra masculine man, but just to get into a good habit. Don't worry if you have to start easy.
Neither of these things are easy if you are terminally online and have become accustomed to that sort of lifestyle. While they may suck, I can promise you, it will be nothing compared to the lifetime of misery that transition will put you through. There is nothing for you there.
When I made my snoo it just felt so…not me. I liked my girl snoo. I put this snoo in a suit just so I could be done with it. Like yeah the minecraft head is cool but it just seems so…not me outside of that.
Have whatever snoo you like. Guys can have feminine snoos. Liking girl avatars on websites or video games isn't a rejection of manhood, or an indication of anything really.
You might be overthinking it.
A lot of the trans community has this obsession with transitioning as early as possible, since older trans people wished they did that. This is a terrible idea.
It's always better to delay. Transitioning earlier will have more negative side effects, especially if done before puberty. Given the experimental nature of treatment, it's much better to wait and see.
You can always change your mind later if you really want to.
I feel like a bad person, a fucking transphobe.
You feel like a bad person for considering what might be best for a friend? This isn't a bad thing. Blindly affirming anything a friend does without hesitation is far worse. A true friend can accept criticism or conflicting advise.
Remember that the concept of "transphobia" is completely subjective. Simply pointing out that there is a difference between male and female bodies is considered "transphobia" despite being totally true. It's a label used as to try and discredit whatever information or idea the trans community doesn't like. To shutdown debate and critical thought.
The entire concept of detransitioners is transphobic to some people. Don't let the label stop you.
You are no ones therapist. You are not their personal validation dispenser.
It's ab implants. Yes they exist. Elliot has access to the best cosmetic surgeons money can buy but still sells their transition as achievable to the average joe.
They can (and have had) their bones broken and realigned in a more "manly" way. And yet they just looks so miserable.
But who knows, maybe the next surgery will bring them eternal joy? Right guys?
Just people who don't identify with traditional notions of what being a man or woman is.
So you know, literally 99.9% of people. It's just massively overprescribed.
NB surgeries are nightmarish, like "nullification" where ALL GENITALS are removed, for just a smooth doll like crotch with a hole to pee out of. Doctors laughing all the way to the bank.
Completely agree. At lot of it is so insidious. They just tell kids that not wanting to follow gender stereotypes makes them less like their biological sex.
i.e. A guy who doesn't want to be ultra macho is somehow less of a man because he doesn't conform. Or a girl who doesn't want to be like Kim Kardashian or barbie is less of a woman.
They legit don't see how it reinforces the stereotypes that they are claiming to be boldy tearing down.