I don't wanna give to the gender narrative, period - I reject NB for the same reason I rejected "GNC" and "Demiboy" - Not being a very sexist stereotype of a woman doesn't make me not one in the slightest.

Also if I get "They"'d one more time I'm going to run away to the forest and be monke.

To be honest... I'd recommend getting a different one that isn't into the whole gender thing. It seems like she's trying to force yet another special label on you because that whole worldview can't compute someone who's entirely happy with themselves but isn't a stereotype of what society thinks they are.

I'm here too! For me, detransing was as small as no longer internally believing I'm a man, but rather simply acknowledging that my habits, however unorthodox and hypermasculine they may be, don't magically make me not a woman. I just got a certain biological configuration and I don't wanna mess with it, 'cause it has nothing to do with how I choose to express myself.

No shaving, short hair, no makeup, no soft girly habits, hell yeah ambiguous clothing, considering hitting the gym and getting ripped as fuck, love pickin' a good fight when I'm not an anxious wreck and I still do like getting called sir!

This always makes me so happy to see. Usually when we see muscular women we only see the "acceptably strong" ones from like, bikini contests and such. I've recently seen some real female bodybuilders and it's given me hope to someday be that built. I'll always envy men for their physique potential but I'm honestly no longer as dissatisfied as I used to be w/ my own potential as a female

My experience as one such case: For me it was a very gradual, invisible process that started with wondering why I wanted the physical aspect of being a man, and slowly discovering that I didn't have dysmorphia of any kind or "identity" problems. The desire came from practical wishes (To be strong, to not be harassed and objectified) and sexual wishes.

The latter was surprisingly hard to discover, actually. It clicked suddenly after a VERY long time when I analysed my porn habits while writing a small NSFW story for myself, and realising I was wholly uninterested in any fantasy without a male (or at least dick-having) MC whose perspective and sensation weren't at all times the focus of the story, as well as realising the comments on the stuff I like aren't a loud minority - People were looking at sexy characters to fantasise about interacting with them, not being them like I did. Then I read about AAP existing and it clicked - All these habits seem extremely obvious but when you've been raised in a gender narrative it can be surprisingly difficult to process the idea that something like this could be a fetish. After acknowledging its nature it completely ceased to bother me - My brain just files it under the list of "essential things to make something sexy" and that's that. No actual influence on my life anymore.

There's nothing else to it, honestly. I have a lot of hypermasculine habits, but the actual desire for physical change comes purely because that part's a sex thing. The possibility that it could be a fetish is pretty much hush-hush hidden from the public so nobody thinks about it and we're just made to think we're trans.

It's a normal social pressure thing, especially at your age. When many people around you start doing something, no matter how harmful, you end up with an itch to join in. Learning to resist and overcome those desires, for me, was a part of growing up.

Also, advice: Don't. For many as far as I've observed, that was a stepping stone to being trans, and it's just generally a step towards the unhealthy mindset of "I don't act like a woman so I'm not one." Also, please don't change the way you see yourself based on other people's expectations.

I think this is exactly what I said in my own desistor experience post, either you repress your "manly" behaviours as a woman until they disappear, or you are led to believe that you were never a woman in the first place, instead of the much more sensical conclusion that whatever society thinks you're doing doesn't matter and doing "dude things" doesn't mean anything about you.

It's less that I gotta accept myself (I've never had a conflict there in the first place) but moreso that I have to live with the constant expectation that I'm not supposed to be happy and stable as a hypermasculine female, and damn it's really wearing me out.

Good to know there's others out there, it feels great knowing I'm not a sole outlier.

Ouch. Yeah, I live in a smol SA country, must be difficult in the USA where that narrative is so all-encompassing. Best of luck finding someone less indoctrinated, honestly - And if you ever wanna talk I'm here, though my desister experience was a bit unconventional so idk if I can help.