I feel you honestly, I'm in a similar headspace except I don't want children but I feel your pain. I had a masectomy in my early twenties and it was botched so I cannot even get reconstruction such as implants or fat transfer, my only chance to have any kind of shape there is a pap flap surgery which is wildly expensive.

I will say please be kind to yourself - A woman's identity, worth, and biology are not defined by a single physical attribute. The changes you have made to your body do not diminish your womanhood.

Also when it comes to other people, unless they have ever had a masectomy themselves or loss of limb they just wont get the grief that you feel and people just can be awful and lack empathy about it. I cut out all my female friends for bragging about their breasts to me as it was making me feel worse, funnily enough my male friends have been more supportive.

Firstly, just focus on yourself and your own journey, I've found it helpful to block out anything trans related on social media and the news, it's quite hard to ignore in the beginning but it's doable.

Now this advice probably isn't what you asked for but I don't think gaslighting yourself into believing a trans woman = woman would be helpful especially with the kind of blatant misogyny you've had said to you being pretty common in my experience. We've all gone through a lot and I honestly think being good to yourself and hyper focusing on self care instead of censoring and trying to brain wash yourself for a community that thinks you don't exist is the better choice.

I lost basically all my friends after I detransitioned because my choice to detransition was transphobic in itself in their eyes, some were only my friend conditionally as long as I didn't speak "negatively about the trans community"meaning: I cant ever speak about my experience, so I cut them out. My colleagues at work treat me with far less grace, misgender me and point out all my post T masculine features and lack of breasts but will validate and basically worship pre everything trans women.

Honestly you will likely no longer be seen as an ally by the trans community and even their allies as a whole no matter what you do because your existence contradicts everything they stand for, so you may as well embrace how you really feel! It's your life and you aren't going out of your way to hurt people.

I mean I know at least for myself, I want breast reconstruction because I see it as closure and a way of getting back what was taken from me, it's a very personal choice. I'm extremely happy for women who decide not to and embrace themselves but I know for myself that would not make me happy in myself long term and I think that's equally valid as well imo

For me personally it depends, I posted a pic in here and there was heavy attention towards my piercings being masculine so I should remove them. I totally ignored that advice but that's what the majority of the comments said, and they all got up voted the most. 🤷 That's when it gets silly imo.

For clothes - In general I dress more feminine because I've started to really enjoy the choices and experimentation that come with feminine clothing and there is a small part of it that I don't want people guessing my gender as it makes me dysphoric. As I've now got long hair this has become a lot better to manage because some people do honestly think short hair = boy.

For everything else, I still competitively play videogames and I work in IT/CS, I play the bass guitar. Those could all be interpreted as more popular with men/masculine and a lot of my friends are male but I don't care.

Just do what I did and make a post on social media, delete the social media app for a couple of days so you don't give yourself immense anxiety then by the time you come back it's over and done with.

I was met with only positivity and tbh most people will treat it as a "coming out" post.

I needed this, it doesn't help that despite detransitioning I'm treated as male at work/assumed a trans woman. I struggle to feel female because of my lack of boobs and my Adams apple, my body is also still quite masculine and hasn't changed shape yet. All of this just makes me feel like a failure and a mess.

I think a factor is that women are constantly being told that their genitals are disgusting and gross and that penises are the holy grail.. So I can fully understand why bottom growth can make someone feel even worse and perhaps alienated. Those women from the outside in the latter group probably also shame women with larger or different coloured labias so I wouldn't pay them no mind. 🖤

For the detrans women who hate their bottom growth, it does not make you less of a woman.. it's still very much a clitoris just a little bigger and chances are it will shrink slightly off testosterone and no longer gets erect. I've actually encountered one lady who is not detrans, been a woman her whole life who was a similar size to me, so there is actually girls out there who just naturally have bigger clits!

Thank you so much for everyone's kind words! He did reach out to me eventually but I decided to ignore him. He said he "doesn't care about my gender" and that he was just looking out for his friends that night when he avoided me as it was their first time. It all sounded like lies to me and didn't add up so I chose not to respond.

Honestly no worries, just type out a draft message and set a time for yourself to post it, then just do it. I HIGHLY doubt you will get anything negative as if you're announcing anything on a platform nobody wants to make themselves stick out and look like an asshole, and if you have many friends some will jump in to defend you.. can also tweak who actually sees it depending on where you decide to post it. But in most cases people leave their congratulations then move on with their day so please don't overthink it 🖤

I had PCOS in one ovary before I started HRT, but HRT doesn't cause or make PCOS worse. I can see sexual dysfunction being a thing but I don't see it being permanent once the hormones settle down.. it's hard to say really.

The best thing you can do is get a doctor to check levels and do a general checkup once off hormones.