This story is from the comments by /u/Aware-Resist-8655 that are listed below, summarised with AI.
User Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account "Aware-Resist-8655" appears to be authentic.
There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic actor. The comments display:
- Personal, consistent narrative: A detailed and coherent story of starting medical transition at 16, being on HRT for 6 years, having FFS and breast augmentation, and then detransitioning.
- Emotional depth and nuance: Expressions of regret, anger, shame, and grief that are complex and evolve over time, consistent with a genuine lived experience.
- Internal logic: The user's perspective, while strong and critical of transition, is internally consistent and reflects a specific ideological viewpoint common among some detransitioners.
- No bot-like patterns: The language is natural, varied, and responsive to different threads and topics within the subreddit.
The account exhibits the passion and strong opinions noted as common for genuine detransitioners.
About me
I started transitioning at 16 because I was a gay teenager who felt a lot of shame and wanted to escape growing into an adult man. I was on hormones for six years and had surgeries to feminize my face and body, believing it was my only path to happiness. I eventually realized my desire to transition came from internalized homophobia and was a form of escapism that left me feeling like I was living a lie. I stopped hormones four months ago and am now dealing with the permanent changes to my body, including surgeries I regret. I am now focused on accepting myself as a gay man and healing from this experience.
My detransition story
My whole journey started when I was 16. I was a gay teenager growing up in a homophobic city, and I had a lot of internalized shame about that. I started smoking weed every day, which led me to spending too much time online overanalyzing my appearance. That’s when I found transgender content and it felt like an escape. I convinced myself that transitioning was the answer to not having to grow up to be an adult gay man, which I was deeply afraid of. I hated my masculine features and wanted to stay looking young.
I started DIY hormones behind my parents' backs. When they found out, I was already set on this path. I was on hormone replacement therapy, or HRT, for almost six years. I took a lot of different medications: spiro, progesterone, estradiol pills and injections, finasteride, and bicalutamide. At 18, I legally changed my name and gender marker. Just two months after I turned 19, I had facial feminization surgery, a major operation to change my bone structure. Later, at 18, I also got breast augmentation.
For a while, it felt like a new life and true bliss. I passed in public and got a lot of praise and validation from people online and in my life. But that feeling didn't last. Near the end of my six years transitioning, I was deeply unhappy. I woke up from what I now see as a delusion. I realized that the people in my personal life who knew I was trans were just pretending to be nice and were humoring me. I felt like a creep living a lie and I started dreading waking up every day.
I came to understand that my desire to transition was rooted in internalized homophobia and a trauma-based fear of aging as a gay man. I was using transition as a form of escapism from my reality. I now see it as a conscious effort to identify with an ideology, not something innate. I was in a constant state of dissociation the entire time, denying my biology and expecting everyone to conform to a false reality.
I was also deeply depressed and anxious. The anxiety about being "clocked" as trans was so bad that I was ashamed to work a normal job, which led me to sex work. I have to live with the flashbacks from that for the rest of my life. My physical health suffered too. My muscles atrophied, I was very weak, and I would lay in bed all day. My eyesight got worse, and I wonder if it was related to the hormones. My genitals were in excruciating pain when aroused.
I stopped HRT four months ago, just before I turned 22. The withdrawal was horrible; it put me into a temporary menopause and I felt suicidal for a while as my body struggled to start producing its own hormones again. But now, almost four months off, the brain fog is lifting and I can think more clearly. I feel my emotions are more stable. I'm dealing with the reality of my surgical alterations. I have breast implants I need to get removed, which will cost thousands, and permanent scars from my facial surgery. My face is surgically feminized, my voice is high, and I look like a 15-year-old boy. I feel stuck in an undeveloped limbo.
I regret transitioning. I feel like I was a medical experiment, a teenager who was failed by doctors and therapists who never looked into my deeper trauma. I mutilated my body in an extreme form of self-harm, exchanging one type of self-destruction for another. I wasted six years of my life from 16 to 22. The hardest parts now are the shame, the embarrassment of having to tell everyone I was wrong, and knowing that I am permanently altered. I feel too damaged to date and know that I will only be seen as a fetish by certain men.
I am now working on accepting myself as a gay man. This whole process has been about healing my male identity and learning to love my natural self. I’ve changed my ID back to male. I’ve cut all ties with the trans community because I see it as a cult that promotes active self-harm and dissociation from reality. I believe the true cure to gender distress is radical self-acceptance, not medication and surgery.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 14 | First sexual encounter; already experimenting with women's clothing and makeup, but using birth name and he/him pronouns. |
| 16 | Started smoking weed daily, led to online obsession. Discovered trans content. Started DIY HRT behind parents' backs. |
| 16-22 | On Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) for almost 6 years. |
| 18 | Legally changed name and gender marker to female. |
| 18 | Underwent breast augmentation surgery. |
| 19 | Underwent Facial Feminization Surgery (FFS) 2 months after turning 19. |
| 22 | Stopped HRT 4 months ago (just before turning 22). Began the detransition process. |
| 22 | (Present) 4 months off HRT. In the process of reverting legal documents and consulting surgeons for breast implant removal. |
Top Reddit Comments by /u/Aware-Resist-8655:
An old friend went and got his done in Thailand. I can tell he regretted it before he passed away. He would sometimes talk about missing having gay intercourse after it was done. He spent 25k on the thing just for it to still be bleeding after a year. The colon graft prolapsed. It’s so sad he made himself into a fu(k pocket for men to use. Really sad. A lot of these guys who get the operation think they can live stealth and date guys without ever telling them they got the surgery. Like sorry but long term, there’s no hiding it’s not the real deal. The scars always show. Most don’t self lubricate. Overall I think most end up regretting it but don’t admit it. It takes a very strong person to admit they mutilated their bits and now stuck with the consequences for the rest of their life
Same girl I don't want anything to do with trans anymore. I don't want any trans friends, I refuse to participate in someone's active self harm and disassociation from reality. I've literally deleted all social medias cause I'm so tired of dumb trans videos coming on up on my feed. I don't follow any trans people or content creators anymore but the stuff still kept coming up. It's like the algorithm purposely pushes it
I feel the same way. Started hrt at 16, some surgeries (thank god i didn’t do bottom surgery), but i ponder daily about how id have ended up if i just let myself prosper without hormones and surgery. I hold so much resentment towards my doctors, family and friends who let me do this to myself. I was 16 FFS! Now that im 22, it’s so easy to see how immature 16 year olds are. I just can’t believe it. Just know you aren’t alone in these daily thoughts
The medication they use is called domperidone. The lactation is just a side effect due to raised prolactin levels – the prescriptions main purpose is to increase movements and contractions of the bowel and stomach. 🤮so these men end up having diarrhea 24/7 just to breastfeed a child. I'm scared
I had someone come here and invalidate my experience of regretting puberty blockers as a teenager. They said teenagers should still have access to blockers because they don’t pass as a trans woman due to them starting medical transition at 30 years old. Like okay great what does that do for me and my pain… trans people have such have a victim complex. They love to think there’s some genocide going around.
And that’s the thing is there’s no way to determine detransition statistics because insurance companies don’t have an ICD code for detransition. You’re right about it being about experimentation. I mean hell not even 100 years ago eugenics was normalized in the United States for those deemed as less than. It’s so obvious this is the new medical experiment scandal. There’s nothing affirming about this. I can’t even go public about my story online without permanently being named as a transphobe, doxxed, “repressing internalized transphobe, or being told I’ll retransition.
I also was so ashamed to work when I was trans which led me to sex work. I had constant anxiety about being clocked as trans and it got to the point I felt like I'd just be the mentally ill trans coworker everyone felt bad for but was just being nice to. Which in hindsight, true... lol. But now I have to deal with flashbacks of having sex with strange men for the rest of my life. Tons and tons of trans women resort to sex work sadly which just traumatizes us further. I also wanted to seek help and get therapy but my trans woman friends would say therapy is gay (internalized homophobia). Overall very sad but I'm glad we're healing now !!
No there is no such thing as true trans. I thought I was one of the truetrans cause I transitioned as a minor and passed but I still detransitioned. Every trans person thinks they’re truetrans. No trans person wanted to be lumped in with the gender freaks who go by ze/zir. What counts as truetrans? Passing based on genetics and amount of surgery done? How many years they’ve transitioned?
Beautifully written. I couldn't agree more
But I do miss all the praise and validation I used to get by people who never had my best interest at heart and "supported" and "affirmed" my decision to medically sterilize myself and become something ever more inhuman.
This part is so true ugh. Being delusional was truly bliss until it became a nightmare and so many turned against me.
Whenever I am honest about my experience—concluding that trans is a cult, a religion, and how I no longer believe medical interventions can cure a mental issue—the people around me, from my family to my "friends", tell me that I "can't generalize": that "just because I had a bad experience" doesn't mean I should "deny treatment" to "real trans people". I get told I'm a bigot when I don't think I am. In fact, I feel like the only person around me with enough empathy to suggest that mentally ill people shouldn't be allowed to harm themselves, and that doctors have a duty to uphold the Hippocratic oath.
Reallll. They just don’t get it, or they do but they’re afraid of being cancelled. I don’t think people who’ve never been trans or done a lick a research have any right to speak on the community. It’s common sense if 1% of the population is confused about their sex, they’re mentally ill. A hardware fix (hormones and surgery) doesn’t fix the software.