This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic.
The comments display:
- Personal, emotionally detailed narratives about desisting, regret, and PTSD.
- Consistent themes of support, personal growth, and the complex aftermath of transition decisions.
- Varied language and sentence structure that reads as human-written.
- A plausible personal history that includes specific struggles (e.g., sleep issues from PTSD) and a timeline of recovery over "a couple of years."
This is consistent with a genuine desister who is passionate about supporting others.
About me
I started transitioning at 19 because I was desperate to fit in and was pressured by a toxic friend group. I took testosterone for a year, but I stopped before any surgeries, which I'm now so grateful for. My real issue wasn't being female; it was trauma, low self-esteem, and a need to belong. After stopping, I went through a very dark time of regret and depression. I've now found peace, and my purpose is to help others avoid the same painful mistakes I made.
My detransition story
My whole journey with this started because I just wanted to fit in and be accepted. I was really struggling with low self-esteem and anxiety, and I was deeply afraid of being abandoned by the people I thought were my friends. I realize now that they weren't real friends at all. They pressured and manipulated me into thinking that transitioning was the answer to all my problems. I was so desperate for their approval that I went along with it, even though a part of me knew it wasn't what I truly wanted.
I started identifying as non-binary at first, and then that escalated. I was influenced a lot by what I saw online and by this friend group. It felt like an escape from all my other problems. I was dealing with a lot of trauma and PTSD from something else that happened in my life, which made everything feel so much harder. My sleep is still terrible because of it; I have nightmares almost every night and I dread going to sleep.
I took testosterone for a while. I'm so grateful that I stopped before I got any surgeries, because I know I would have regretted that deeply. I look back now and see that a lot of my discomfort with my body, like hating my breasts, was tangled up with other issues. I think I had a lot of general body dysmorphia and unhappiness that I mistakenly blamed on being born female.
Stopping my transition was the best decision I ever made. I went through a really dark time afterwards, full of regret and guilt. I struggled with alcohol, self-harm, and suicidal thoughts. I felt so alone and stupid for having been led down that path. But with time, and by talking to people in communities like this one, I started to heal.
I don't regret the experience anymore, not exactly. In a weird way, I'm grateful for it. It forced me to grow up and become a stronger, more confident person. It led me to meet new, genuine people who actually care about me. I learned that being trans shouldn't define who you are. My purpose in life now is to be the person I needed for someone else, to hopefully help others avoid making the same mistakes I did.
I don't have all the answers about gender. For me, it turned out that my feelings weren't really about being a different gender. They were about trauma, low self-worth, and the terrible need to belong. I'm just trying to focus on my life now and hope for a better future.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 19 | Started identifying as non-binary, influenced by online communities and friends. |
| 20 | Began taking testosterone. |
| 21 | Stopped testosterone. Realized I had been pressured and regretted it. |
| 21 | Struggled with severe depression, alcohol, and self-harm after stopping. |
| 23 | (Present) Found peace with my decision to detransition. Focused on healing and helping others. |
Top Comments by /u/AwesomeAlKTM:
You’re going to make it through this; I know it’s hard and you feel a lot of regret, but you’re young and you have so much ahead of you. Your mom loves you. Talk to people, be open, and be you. You will eventually find someone who will love you for who you are. There are plenty of kind people in this community that have gone through the same thing, and I’m sure there are a few that would always be willing to talk with you and help you. You’ll always have a safe space here. You can get past this. You can find a purpose again. Try working out or cooking or making music; try to find something you’re passionate about, and that can help change your mindset. Its a good thing that you shared your feelings, and I would encourage you to continue to be open.
You are not alone. That is very similar to what happened with me, and I know several others here share the experience. The thing I’ve realized, though, is that all of those people I thought were my friends were never real friends to being with. All they did for me was pressure me and push me to do something that deep down, I knew I didn’t really want to do. I just wanted to fit it; I was afraid of being abandoned. I was manipulated. They never actually cared about me or my feelings. They only cared about how they could benefit from me. To be honest, I’m not sure I could even tell you exactly what they wanted — all I know is it wasn’t what someone would want for a friend. In the end I regretted everything, and I also felt guilty about it, too. I struggled with alcohol, suicidal thoughts and behaviors, and self-harm. But it’s been a couple of years since desisting and I’ve realized as time has gone on that I am actually greatful for what happened in a weird way, because it has allowed me to make new friends and meet new people that have positively impacted my life that I never would’ve met if it never happened in the first place. I feel more mature now and more confident. I really wouldn’t be me if things had happened any differently. I’m really sorry for how you’re feeling now, but I can absolutely testify that it does get better, and that things will work out well in time. Just be patient with it.
I am very sorry for you. I will just say this: We can’t change what we’ve done, no matter how much we regret it. Focus on your life now, and hope for a better future. It may take a while, but you can get through this. I never got surgery, but I do have my own scars from things I did to myself, and it does make it hard, but you have to try and see it as a way to learn. You now have the opportunity to be the person that you needed for someone else. You could save others from making your mistake. You are valuable. Remember that. There are many here that feel the same way you do, so it’s a good thing you shared. Don’t be afraid to reach out.
Being trans shouldn’t define who you are, and many people unfortunately seem to view it that way in the modern era. My number one piece of advice would be to try as many different things as possible that interest you and try to find something that you can become passionate about!
I have PTSD due to something bad — mostly unrelated to my transition — that happened, and it shows up in my dreams almost every time. I despise sleeping. I try to do literally anything else and convince myself that I’m being productive when I am probably just making myself less productive overall. I cannot remember the last time I slept for more than two hours at night.
Honestly, I think that’s just part of it. I am very happy with my decision to stop my transition before it was too late, but I still do feel this exact feeling that you described. I imagine that everyone feels this, regardless of whether they have transitioned, de-transitioned, or not even transitioned at all.