Sounds like a bad therapist. They're meant to help you figure shit out not tell you what to think based on their beliefs. Definitely find a better therapist.

Or, next time tell your therapist that they are the patient and you are the therapist and they owe you money because you believe it to be true and you said it is. Walk in with a notebook and pen and say see I have the stuff, I believe it, done and done.

For the record you are a female. Your therapist is an idiot. Your thoughts are valid.

Edit: just adding that she's an idiot because she isn't doing her job. She clearly has an agenda and is pushing it as her primary goal. Her primary goal should be your betterment and help.

There is no "probably trans". If you aren't 100% trans, you're probably dealing with something else. Very very few people are actually transexual but a ton of people have overlapping issues and get sucked into the trans ideology. If you have even the tiniest shred of doubt, please do not do anything to yourself medically. There are so many of us who stood where you stood and jumped off that cliff and so desperately wished we had just waited a little longer. Got a little more help. Developed a little farther before doing anything thats difficult or impossible to change.

You seem to be a critical thinker which is a beautiful thing in a world where propaganda controls most people. So I woukd say use your big beautiful brain first. What do you think it is to be a man, what do you think it is to be a woman? What do tou think it is to be human, what so you think it would be to be say, a wolf? You could play at being a wolf. You could dress and act and get surgeries to look like a wolf. But its a humans experience of pretending to be a wolf not a wolves experience. Its much the same with men and women in that if you've never been a female, you only know what being a female is through male eyes. And what we think of as female may not matter at all. Like clothing pronouns, femininity etc. You can have every one of those things if thats what you want and you don't have to pretend to be female. You can have a female name, you can dress like a female and use female pronouns and do all typically female things and its a perfectly valid human experience. You don't need to transition medically to enjoy all of those things. There is no rule that says a male must have masculie qualities or do typically male things.

If you live in a country where you will be persecuted for being a feminine male, it may be a good idea to transition on paper to validate living life the way you choose. Its unfortunate but a reality in some countries.

Basically if you transition you will be cosplaying as a woman in the most extreme way. I support people living their lives the way they want but it rarely needs to come to hormones and surgery to accomplish it. And it might be medically unsafe to do so.

Be whstever human you want to be but know what you are as well. Nothing you do to yourself medically will actually make you female. So decide how you want to live and live that way in the safest way possible.

You look female physically in your face. Italy is traditional so wearing male styled clothing plus the short hair I'd gurss they're assuming you're a male (with a feminine face) or trans male. Or possibly just want a traditionally styled female to influence their offspring.

Unless you have a masculine voice I'm unaware of lol

It's definitely the bubble you're currently in, not you. You're not crazy but you definitely have been indoctrinated and coming out of that of course they aren't going to accept you leaving the cult. It's like religious extremists.

This is almost definitely going to be a really hard process for you. And this might be one of those things where you need to completely leave the bubble to reach people who accept you and your experiences.

You're exactly who this community was made for. We hear you, we believe you, we have shared your experiences. When no one else will let you speak, speak here while you're getting back on two feet.

To the people attacking the op because they are trans: dudes, chill out. Having allies who live in the trans world is eventually going to be beneficial. Imagine someone is questioning whether they should transition and instead of blind support this person stands up and says "hey, sometimes it isn't the right answer. Maybe check out this detrans sub I found and talk to them. They're really nice and informative." But if you guys act like douche bags and tell every person who isn't identical to you to just "sit down and shut up" essentially, how is that going to help get the message out?

If nothing else accept this as a message that our plight is reaching people and not being rejected. This is a solid beginning to saving a lot of people down the road from going through what many of us have. That should be seen as a positive.

I'm going to come out and just be blunt. Not intending to sound rude if it comes out that way. You are a woman. The choice you are contemplating is whether to accept yourself as you actually are or continue with your fantasy. You were never a man. You can be perceived as one as a personal choice of how you'd like to play this game of life but it's only truly cosmetic.

You've already answered your question. If other people were out of the equation you would accept yourself. It sounds like the only thing keeping you from being true to yourself is other people which sucks for anyone in any situation. There will probably be blow back from trans friends if they're sensitive about detransitioning. That does happen a lot. It's almost like a cult and there's a high chance of being rejected if you stop drinking the kool-aid. And paperwork sucks too. I changed my name and I'm still dealing with paperwork about it. If your family wasn't into thr transitioning they might actually be relieved by what they perceive as a return to normality.

My opinion is definitely detransition medically because health wise it's just so astronomically better for you to let your body follow its proper course of hormones. But everything else, the paper stuff, the clothes, whstever, you can keep all that if you want. You don't need to make a big announcement every time, you don't need to label yourself binary or not in order to function. All that crap is just bloatware. It doesn't really mean diddly.

I know I'm rambling and I'm sorry, it's late. I think you would benefit from accepting yourself and trying to just focus on what you want as a human individual and where you want to go in life. You don't have to be pinned under the label of man woman nonbinary etc. No matter what you're female. But that doesn't have to mean feminine or womanly. That part is up to you as an individual. And I'd use that probably when people ask you about where you are with transitioning. You could always say I'm done with labels and I'm going to pursue my happiness as an individual. That might look non binary or not, it's really none of their business. This is your life, to thine own self be true.

Edit: Also the slower you detranstion the less people will notice. A little thing here or there over a long time frame feels like you're just picking up things you like. You can just sort of ghost into it if you take your time

If you used to be depressed but then got through it, were you ever really depressed? Of course you were. But it doesn't have to be a permanent thing. People take the dysphoria and make it who they are instead of working through it or getting actual help with the root cause. And here we are :D

Fundamentally they aren't really different. There's a significant disconnect from reality that is causing an issue. This is for true dysphorics though, not the confused generation we currently have that have been told from childhood they can choose a gender identity. I actually believe there are two main groups acting as one currently.

People who are like myself, who were probably never truly dysphoric but due to things like trauma, austism, etc were simply miserable and in a state of chaos over the general changes from puberty and life in general. This causes us to be susceptible to any idea that offers an explanation and moreso a "cure" that could promise us happiness along with a community that gives us our much craved acceptance for the first time.

Then what I believe to be a much smaller subset of truly dysphoric people suffering the same way anorexic people do. They have a true disconnect from reality over their body.

And of course the plethora of grey area cases and other things since humans are complex and the issues are complex but those two groups together make up a large chunk of the current movement.

But I do see letting people transition as a "cure" to be largely the same as letting anorexics have liposuction. In most cases I think its irresponsible to feed into a delusion like that. I'm fully supportive of people who are grounded in reality acting, living, presenting and doing whatever they want to their bodies as adults though. At which point its just a personal choice from an adult living life the way they want. The cause of the desire matters i think.

Honestly u/turumbarr and others have much better explanations. I'm not great at conveying my thoughts. Just wanted to throw in my own observations and processes to the pile.

You don't have to wear makeup or bras or tight clothing to be female... You can just go on wearing what you like. Stay off T and just be you. There's nothing wrong with being androgynous or even butch if that is what you like. They're still valid female expressions. You don't have to transition to just have your own style.

If you want to enhance feminine features with makeup and stuff you can choose to do that as well. But you aren't obligated to anyone to look a certain way.

Most groups(western ones anyways I'm not talking about the middle east obv) who are against trans culture don't care if a woman dresses masculine at all. They are against people lying about their sex and forcing them to change their own language and such to match other people's delusions. If you're just being you and dressing how you want most people genuinely don't care. Even the more hard right leaning conservatives don't care as long as they don't have to deal with pronouns and stuff. And it's not worth making yourself uncomfortable for a small number of dingdongs anyways.

But T is unhealthy for females over time. We don't have the vascular systems to handle those changes long term so I definitely would stay off it if you can.

This is going to be a long path but the start is actually realizing however you look, however you feel, however people perceive you is irrelevant to you being a male. You're a man. Always have been and always will be. Your desire to look a certain way is totally fine and fun path to be on but it will benefit you a lot down the road to untie the two ideas. Even if you wear makeup and dresses and have all feminine mannerisms you're a man, you're there, you did it, yay, no change needed. And if you want to appear more masculine that's cool too! You can body build if you want to bulk up. Once you're off hormones your body will likely start to become more truly masculine without effort anyways. You can practice acting like men you fine particularly inspiring and learn their movements and styles until you figure out your own.