This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic.
The comments display a consistent, highly personal narrative with specific medical and emotional details that are complex and emotionally resonant, which is atypical for bots. The user's story of being convinced into surgery, their specific health concerns, and the logistical and financial struggles to get care all point to a genuine lived experience. The passion and anger expressed are consistent with the warning that detransitioners can be very upset due to the harm they've experienced.
About me
I started as a traumatized young girl who was terrified of being female and thought becoming a man would make me safe. I was easily given testosterone and then pressured into a devastating mastectomy that was botched and left me physically and mentally scarred. After stopping hormones, I've been suffering through brutal medical withdrawal with no real help from the system that failed me. I now see my pain came from trauma, not from being born female, and I deeply regret changing my body. I'm trying to find myself again but am left navigating the world scared and full of regret.
My detransition story
My name isn't important. I'm just someone who went down a path that caused me a lot of harm, and I'm sharing my story so others might learn from it.
My whole journey started from a place of deep pain and fear. When I was younger, I was abused and raped. That trauma made me terrified of being female. I hated my body, especially my breasts, because they felt like a target. I thought if I could become a man, I'd be safer. I now see that a lot of this was about escaping the fear I felt living as a woman.
I was just a pre-teen when all this started, and I was completely overwhelmed. I saw a youth therapist for anxiety, but I was never evaluated by a psychiatrist. The medical system where I live made it shockingly easy to get hormones and surgery. I saw a GP I had never met before, and he prescribed me testosterone. I didn't need any letters or signatures from anyone. I was put on intramuscular injections every ten weeks and stayed on them for years.
The pressure to get top surgery was immense. Even though I didn't sleep for days before the operation and was screaming and crying that I didn't want it, everyone convinced me it was the right thing to do. My GP, my therapist, the surgeon, even my friends... they all used scare tactics, telling me it was surgery or death. I felt I had no choice. I let it happen. The surgery was a double mastectomy, and it was botched. Because they didn't use stitches, the incision opened up. It took eight months to close and three years to deal with the scar. I haven't been the same since, both physically and mentally. I feel like I was mutilated, that I was just practice for a student surgeon to hack up healthy tissue. I'm only now starting to really process that I let this happen to me by trusting others over my own instincts.
After being on testosterone for so long, I stopped about two months ago. The effects have been brutal. I've developed a red face with terrible, painful cystic acne that gets worse every day—I never had acne like this on T. I get night fevers, nighttime pelvic pain, and mild chest pain. During the day, I just feel a general sense of loss and I'm afraid of what's happening to my body medically.
Trying to get help now has been a nightmare and a financial drain. I flew out to see the only trans-friendly endocrinologist near me, and it cost over a thousand dollars. It was a complete waste. They didn't answer any of my questions, just told me to "just stop if you want to stop," gave me a blood test form, and rebooked me for over a year later. I can't afford to go anywhere else for help. I also tried to get a scan for the pain I'm having, but the hospital refused because their clinic is for women only.
I live with a lot of regret. I regret ever starting testosterone. I deeply regret the top surgery; I wish I had never done it. I believe those steps are there for a reason, and if I had been made to go through proper psychological evaluations, I probably never would have gone through with any of it. I was a vulnerable kid who was failed by the system.
Now, I'm trying to figure out who I am after all this. When I'm alone inside, I can be happy with myself. But out in the world, I'm terrified again, just like I was as a child. I worry about cultural hate and being targeted. A part of me even wonders if I can still pass as male just for safety reasons, which is a painful thought to have after everything.
My thoughts on gender now are complicated. I don't think the answer to my problems was in changing my body. My pain came from trauma and a desperate need for safety, not from being born female. I was trying to escape myself, and transition was the method I used.
Here is a timeline of my journey based on what I remember:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Pre-teen | First prescribed testosterone by a new GP. No psych evaluation. |
| - | Started intramuscular testosterone injections (10-weekly). |
| - | Underwent double mastectomy (top surgery) after being pressured by medical professionals and friends. Felt immense regret immediately. |
| - | Surgery incision opened; spent 8 months closing and 3 years dealing with the scar. |
| - | Stopped testosterone after many years on it. |
| 2 months post-T | Developed severe cystic acne, night fevers, pelvic and chest pain. |
| - | Spent over $1000 to see an endocrinologist who was unhelpful. |
Top Comments by /u/Axolotln:
I did fly out to see the endocrinologist and I felt it was a waste of over $1000 for them to not answer any of my questions, tell me to ‘just stop if you want to stop, or don’t of you dont’ and just give me a blood form and rebook for Nov 2020. Which is over a year away. I can’t afford to fly to America.
Double mastectomy. I’m happy in myself when I am inside and alone. When I’m at work or passing through towns I worry about cultural hate, (being abused and raped is one part of why I transitioned in the first place) I’m essentially terrified again, like I was as a child. So I was wondering if I would still pass as male in public for safety reasons.
Your body must be capable of producing Estrogen, this is good. Tenderness or the pain is most likely this hormone helping out to heal damage done to the tissues, repairing cells and trying to do what it thinks is healthiest for you, possibly growing new tissue. If the pain is severe then see a GP, or if you get a new lump that does not have pain, painful lumps are usually glandular tissue whereas painless and fast formed lumps could be cancer.
If it was septic like he written in that blog, its 20% chance you get through. Sepsis is bad.
Will try again when Monday comes to book info somewhere and ask for a scan, but I know they won’t at the hospital (where women get checked up) because they already told me I could t get checked there as it’s women only.
I had been on IM 10 wkly injections. I have been off for about 2 months. I have developed a red face with facial cystic acne getting worse by the day (normally induced) and have night fevers and night time pelvic pain and mild chest pain. I’m fine during the day besides my skin and a generalised feeling of loss. I didn’t have acne while on T besides a minor pimple once or twice. I’m afraid of what’s to come medically.
There is only one trans friendly endo near where I live, I am not in the US or Europe - the one I saw is the one who everyone here sees. I have been looking at flights and accomodations available but been overwhelmed by that in itself, I have already gotten a referral from my GP, but haven’t booked flights yet. I can let you know when I have and how it goes?
I feel like I understand what you’re feeling reg so many things but included is the top surgery I let happen, despite not sleeping for days and screaming I didn’t want it, I was in tears, but my GP, therapist, public surgeon, even my friend.. all said I needed it and managed to convince me. I haven’t been the same since that surgery, and not just physically. But medical teams don’t care about the individual, I’ve learned this the hard way. Glad their student got their first go at hacking up healthy tissue and mutilating a youth body for life. Since they didn’t do stitches it opened up and took 8 months to close and 3 years to deal with a scar. If all those people hadn’t convinced me with scare tactics that it was surgery or death, I wouldn’t have done it. But now I live with this, and knowing that I let all this happen to me too. I’m only starting to take it all on that I let this all happen to me, by being overwhelmed and too trusting with others over myself. I guess I can only learn from this.
What’s scarier is that I didn’t need a psych evaluation, never seen a psychiatrist, I had a youth therapist for anxiety, no one had to sign any forms for my T, or the surgery or anything.. but now I have to pay to see an endo, and I’m still not sure I’d trust them with my experience. I had a bad run and was overwhelmed as a pre-teen and a GP I’d never seen before gave me T, I’d been on it since. I feel bad when I hear friends complain about the steps they have to take, but they are there for a reason to and if I did have to go through them, I probably wouldn’t have let all this happen at all.