This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags indicating it is a bot or an inauthentic detransitioner/desister.
The user's passionate, detailed, and emotionally charged commentary is consistent with a genuine individual grappling with complex issues of gender, sexuality, and societal misogyny. The perspectives are nuanced, internally consistent over time, and reflect a deeply personal, lived experience. The anger and frustration expressed are contextually appropriate for the subject matter and the community.
About me
I started feeling a deep discomfort with my female body and the expectations placed on women when I was a teenager. I thought becoming a man was the only way to escape sexism and have an equal relationship with a man. My journey was a social one, and I'm glad I never medically transitioned because I realized my problem wasn't being female, but the misogyny forced onto us. I've come to understand that I can be a strong, dominant woman and still have a balanced relationship. Now, I see my experience as a feminist issue, and I've found peace by rejecting sexist stereotypes instead of my body.
My detransition story
My journey with gender started with a deep discomfort I felt as a girl growing into a woman. I never felt like I fit into the role that society had for me. I hated my breasts and felt a lot of anxiety about my body. I saw the way women were treated, especially in relationships with men, and it made me feel sick. It felt like there was this huge, unfair power imbalance where women were expected to be submissive. I was envious of gay men because their relationships seemed more equal and free from those stereotypes. They could just be normal with each other.
For a long time, I thought the only way I could ever be in a balanced relationship with a man was if I was a man myself. I felt like if I was a gay man, I wouldn't have to worry about being forced into a submissive role. I could just be an equal. I also felt a lot of distress about my female body, feeling like it made me inferior. I thought a man would never want to be with me, a woman, if I was the one who wanted to be in control during sex; he'd want a "real man" with a real penis, which is something I could never have.
I was very angry about how women are objectified and sexualized in our culture. I saw it everywhere, from media to just walking down the street. The idea that breasts are inherently sexual and that women can't even be topless like men made me furious. I felt like my body was constantly being seen through a degrading lens, and I hated it. This feeling of being seen as less than, as an object, was a huge part of my discomfort.
I never medically transitioned. I didn't take hormones or have any surgeries. My transition was more about my thoughts and social identity. I explored identifying as non-binary and then as a trans man for a while because it felt like an escape from all this pressure. But over time, through a lot of reflection, I realized that my problem wasn't with being female itself. My problem was with the sexist stereotypes and the misogyny that is forced onto females. I didn't have a problem with being a woman; I had a problem with how the world treats women.
I don't regret exploring my gender because it helped me understand myself better. But I am glad I didn't make any permanent changes to my body. My journey was really about untangling internalized misogyny and a deep-seated fear of the power dynamics in heterosexual relationships. I’ve come to see that gender is largely a social construct, a set of rules and expectations based on your sex, and that breaking free from those rules is a feminist issue, not a medical one.
I now see the value in being a woman and the strength that comes with it. I’ve had to work hard to unlearn the idea that being submissive is synonymous with being a woman. I am a woman who is dominant, and that's okay. My sexuality didn't change; I'm still attracted to men, but my understanding of how to have a relationship with one has completely shifted. I don't need to be a man to be an equal partner.
| Age | Date (Approximate) | Event |
|---|---|---|
| 14 | ~2014 | Started feeling intense discomfort with puberty and developing breasts. |
| 16 | ~2016 | Began identifying as non-binary to escape female social expectations. |
| 18 | ~2018 | Socially identified as a trans man, fueled by envy of gay male relationships and a desire for equality. |
| 20 | ~2020 | Began deep self-reflection, realizing my issues were with misogyny, not my sex. Started detransitioning socially. |
| 21 | 2021 | Fully re-identified as a woman, focusing on feminist critique of gender roles instead of transition. |
Top Comments by /u/Background-Candy9074:
Stop watching porn. Women are not submissive one sided characatures. I hope you guys get help from this deeply misogynistic fetish. And I hope there is a group to be made for the guys that seek help. Also women definitely don't get turned on for existing in their own body, as you know. Same as men don't just get turned on by seeing their own body.
That's fucked up. What point is this trying to make, you don't like detransitioners so you call them ugly? Is that an AHA? What if someone called a trans person ugly just because they disagree with transitioning. It's so stupid. Calling a detrans person ugly just cause they're detransitioning won't make them stop detransing. What does he think he's going to accomplish calling this person ugly?
Agreed. People don't understand the depth of it. It isn't liking yaoi. Women are expected to act a certain way In a relationship and if you don't, it's wrong. Gay trans men or detrans straight women are usually not "gay male fetishists". They are literally just uncomfortable in their own sex and the social roles forced upon them for being born the way they are.
In that mind set I remember considering gay relationships as more 'real' and 'pure' because both people would respect eachother as equals.
I still feel this way tbh. I'm trying to unlearn it, but seeing men together, they're actually equals, and there's no power imbalance between them, like how their is intrinsically and barbarically with men and women. One usually isn't considerably stronger than the other, like men and women are. One isn't forced in the submissive societal role. There isn't literal abusive porn that millions of men jack off to that's about your sex/gender like there is for women. If I was a man there wouldn't be the mass oppressive power imbalance between me and my partner and we could just live free without the forceful societal conditioning war placed on men and women.
I have to be sexually in control of men because I'm a woman. I can't do anything about it. The power imbalance is there, and because of who I am in this society, if I want to be in a relationship with a man, I have to makes sure he knows who's in power. So he doesn't get control of me, like how society wants it to be. I wouldn't feel the need to control other men if I was already a man. We'd both be men and I wouldn't need anything else because there's no societal war between us.
I truly believe this is the reason many women like yaoi. They're not usually fujoshis. They literally don't know another way to express their feelings romantically in an actual balanced, no power imbalances, no patriarchal influences on how you should act, way. They vent through the writing of the guy on how they'd want to be with a guy, but can't cause of the extreme social role of women and the extreme power imbalances men and women have. The only way for them to be seen as equals by the men they're in a relationship with is to be men themselves. It's sad, it's not "fetishization". It's so annoying when gay men and some detrans lesbians scream these women are just fetishists and not struggling in a patriarchal system. Many women see it as an outlet to the only way to be genuinely equal to a man in a relationship. And the young trans straight girls are not fujoshis but struggling in a system where they are automatically placed in a patriarchal power imbalance when they choose to love who they love in a hetero relationship.
Wow. What you just said is appalling to me.
I like being a woman in bed cause it’s hot af and consensual for me. I think you have a lot of work to do. Nothing wrong with being consensually submissive.
What, you like "being a woman" in bed, as in the stereotypical degrading sense? If so, that's disgusting that you could see woman and sexually submissive as synonymous. Woman is not synonymous with sexually submissive. It's horrible that you think this about us and yourself. And you say I need to "work on myself" because I don't find being sexually subordinate and submissive as okay like you do? The fact that I think people immediately seeing my body as sexually submissive is disgusting means I need to work on MYself? Imagine growing up in a world where people immediately see you in a horrible light just because of what you look like. Why do you think I should automatically like that? I'm not a strong or powerful as men, so it threatens me that a lot of people in our society just naturally see me as sexually subordinate. Why is that so hard to understand. How do you even internalize that subordination through sex and then still like being seen as a woman?
Kind of an anti-feminist thing to say tbqh.
What???? It's antifeminist to point out people being a woman in bed is people usually being sexually submissive and how that is deeply degrading to us women??
Where’s the bodily autonomy and freedom of choice there?
Did I ever tell you what to do with your body? You know it's disgusting to view us and yourself as "the woman" when being dominated in bed.
Well we make our own friends, our own community, and surround ourselves with people who don’t demean us.
Our culture in and of itself is demeaning. You can't look at anything in mainstream media anymore without tirades of sexual objectification towards female bodies. And people on the street just looking at you. You don't know how they're seeing you.
Cause gender stereotypes are so heavily pushed on us. Mainstream media did not exist back then. People weren't forced into seeing gender stereotypes over and over and over again pushed down their throats, but we are. So it makes perfect sense why so many people are confused and hate all the war and sex stereotypes that's forced on them just because of the body they were born into.
100%
Gender, IMO, is basically a type of bargain you make between your own sex and society, often unconsciously, and is heavily based on cultural norms and the expectation of others towards people of your sex or the opposite sex. It’s a social construct and not something real, and in my opinion is often rooted in sexism.
So very true! And so so sad!
Men are not inherently evil or dangerous.
I know that. I have never said that they were. But our culture shapes our views of women and culturally women are viewed in an objectified dehumanizing lens. I obviously don't want to be seen that way and I don't see how someone can be fine with that. I didn't choose to be here on Earth in this era of sexual misogyny. It bothers me that I'm seen that way.
And women can be submissive without giving into the patriarchy.
Idk how you could do that with a man without thinking about the millions of women that didn't want to but were forced into submission by men. And how many women and girls who are still being forced into sexual submission by men in the world already. And how our society already tries to make us submissive though lots of social rules. I'm not sure how you can separate those two things in your head. Like how you can see your submission for the man as something completely different than the sex based submission imposed on women all around the world. How do you keep doing it when millions of women are forced into it? Does that not mess with you?
"Am I supposed to masturbate thinking about myself being a woman or having a vagina?"
No, definitely not. If you do that, you have autogynophilia, a gross misogynistic fetish. I'm glad you don't. I hope everything works out for you no matter what you do! Bless.
Agreed! We should be allowed to be topless without any weird sexual connotation to it, and yet these demons are still trying to control out bodies by upturning women's right to not be forced to birth. They've been trying to control us so fucking much. Women deserve bodily autonomy and freedom over their breasts to be shirtless just like we deserve bodily autonomy to do whatever the fuck we want in not being forced to birth. #Freethenipple. I hope this becomes a thing again. Breasts are not inherently sexual. And I hope more women get angry about this subject too. I just hope to see more women get loud and passionate about feminist topics in general because our culture needs it. Yet a lot of them are programed to be too nice.
This was not a woman vs. Man debate. Look at my post. This is about trying to find coping mechanisms to exist as a woman in this society with all the objectification. If you want to argue who has it worse, go on a different thread. This is not about how you feel. You are not helping. Leave.