This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user's perspective is consistent and nuanced. They identify as a desister (socially identified as trans but did not medically transition) and express a coherent, personal narrative about their experience with gender identity, detransition, and the surrounding communities. The emotional tone—frustration, caution, and a desire to help others—aligns with the genuine passion and pain often found in this space.
About me
I lived as a trans man for over ten years because I resented the restrictive box I thought womanhood was. The online communities I was in were draining and full of infighting, and I was harassed when I started to question things. My real turning point was when I stopped trying to figure out my gender and just focused on being a human. I now understand that I am a woman, and my masculine style doesn't change that. I've made peace with my journey and am finally happier just being myself.
My detransition story
Looking back on my whole journey, it’s strange to see how things unfolded. I never medically transitioned, but I lived as a trans man, what I called "masc," for over ten years. It started for me socially, and that's where it ended.
A big part of it was that I really resented what I thought womanhood was supposed to be. I saw it as this restrictive box, and I wanted out. I remember thinking that if you hated being a woman and wanted to be a man, then you could just... choose to be a man. That idea was pushed a lot in the online spaces I was in. But now I see that as a kind of misogyny. Resenting womanhood doesn't mean you aren't a woman. Having a period where you identify as something else doesn't change that either. The idea that you can just pick your gender like an outfit is exhausting, and it set me on a path that wasn't really serving me.
I found the whole trans community culture to be draining. There was so much infighting, language policing, and constant questioning. It felt like I was always chasing a goalpost that kept moving. I was never quite "trans enough." I also experienced a lot of backlash when I started to question things or show support for detransitioners. I’ve been harassed and ganged up on online. People dismissed my perspective, saying I must have internalized transphobia or that I was too dumb to understand politics. They treated me like I was never "really" trans to begin with, which was incredibly invalidating. I’ve had to delete my history and be careful about what I say for my own security, because I've seen personal posts end up on Twitter.
Eventually, I realized I didn't need to "figure out" my gender. I decided to just be a human for a while and focus on other things. That was the real turning point. I did a lot of work on myself and came to understand that I am just a woman, and that's all. And that's more than enough.
I don't feel feminine at all. I don't wear makeup, I only wear men's clothing, and I have no interest in trying to look "pretty." But I've learned that has nothing to do with being a woman. Ugly women are still women. Women who hate dresses are still women. There are no rules. I even changed my name, but in a way that felt right for me now: I made my old masculine name my last name and chose a new, traditional woman's name for my first name. It felt like a way to honor my whole journey.
I don't regret my journey because it got me to where I am now, but I do regret buying into the idea that my discomfort with gender roles meant I was a different gender. I'm so much happier and more at peace now, just being me.
Here is a timeline of the main events:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Late Teens | Started to socially identify as trans masculine. |
| Late Teens to Late 20s | Lived socially as a man for over ten years. |
| Late 20s | Began to question my identity and distance myself from trans communities. |
| Late 20s | Realized I am a woman and stopped identifying as trans. |
| Late 20s / Early 30s | Legally changed my name, making my former masculine name my surname. |
Top Comments by /u/Background_Table_215:
Resenting womanhood doesn’t mean you aren’t a woman, though. Having a period of time where you identify as something else doesn’t mean you aren’t a woman either. I don’t know whether you are one, but there are actually no rules about how to be a woman.
This totally might not apply to you, but I see this idea a lot in trans communities - they tell you that you can just choose to be whatever gender you’d like to be. So if you resent womanhood, and would rather be a man, then you can be a man. But that’s just misogyny! Sure you can transition socially and physically, but gender doesn’t work that way in a mental sense. If you’re a man, then you’re a man! - but you don’t pick your gender.
Whether or not you are trans, trans ideology is exhausting. I don’t think it ever stops being exhausting, personally. So much infighting and identity politics and language policing. You’re constantly chasing a goal post that always feels slightly out of reach and always questioning yourself in some way.
Why do something if it’s not serving you? You don’t have to “figure out” your gender identity. You can just be a human for a while, and find other things to focus on. I’m not qualified to advise you on taking T, but it’s concerning to me that you said you hate it. A lot of the effects are permanent, so I don’t think you should just ignore those feelings.
You don’t have to be or feel feminine at all to be a woman. You don’t have to be beautiful. I don’t think you’re ugly, but ugly women are still women! I am not feminine in the sliiiiightest. I don’t wear makeup. I don’t own any womens clothing, I wear menswear exclusively, and I don’t want or try to look pretty. Still a woman, still lovable. So are you! I know how hard it can be to find examples of other women like us, but we do exist and there’s nothing wrong with us ❤️
Once I’ve had whatever discussion I needed to have, I delete for my own security, unfortunately.
In my personal experience, the trans community is awful to anyone who supports detransitioners or who has detransitioned themselves. Most trans subs believe that if you support detransition, you must just be suffering from internalized transphobia or must be transphobic yourself.
I’ve been harassed and ganged up on for having a post or comment history that includes detrans stuff. I’ve had my perspectives dismissed and invalidated. I’ve had people claim that I must just hate myself, say that I’m too dumb to understand (far left) politics correctly, or claim that I’m not worth interacting with. They say that I’m just a troll, or that I’m trying to do harm to “actual” trans people (as if I was never “really” trans). I don’t want to be blocked from engaging with other lgbt/trans subs just for engaging with “transphobic” detrans subs that are helpful to me.
I’ve also seen posts put on twitter so I would like to avoid such a personal thing being posted there.
Hi! I am also just a woman, and that’s all. So I made my former masculine name my last name, and picked a new traditional “woman’s” name for my first name. Obviously this wouldn’t work for every name, but I could see it with Forrest. Maybe this could work for you?
So glad to hear it! I never transitioned medically, but I identified as trans (masc) and lived socially for over ten years. I also had to do a lot of work on myself, but it’s so so worth it to be where I am now! Wishing you all the health and happiness ❤️
My partner got diagnosed with zero help or background from family and it was never a problem. It’s absolutely possible, and not uncommon, so I wonder if there’s another issue. You just need to be able to prove / give indication of what your symptoms were when you were going, but you don’t need your parents. We didn’t ever have to see a doctor to get her diagnosed, and the DSM5 criteria was never brought up or an issue. Where we are the clinician needs something like a PhD in psychology or to be a BCBA to diagnose autism, you aren’t diagnosed by a medical doctor / psychiatrist.