This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the comments, the account appears authentic and not a bot. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is inauthentic.
The user demonstrates a consistent, passionate, and nuanced perspective on detransition-related issues over many months. The writing style is personal, varied, and contains emotional depth and lived-experience insights (e.g., discussing the "euphoria/shame cycle" of AGP and internalized misandry) that are highly specific to the detransitioner/desister community. The comments reflect the expected anger and criticism towards affirmative care and trans activism, which aligns with a genuine, passionate user in this space.
About me
I was born male and started transitioning in my early twenties because I felt different and hated myself. I confused a powerful sexual fantasy for a female identity and used the idea of being a woman to escape my problems. I was deep in the ideology for years until I realized I was twisting reality to fit a narrative. I stopped hormones and had to face the person I was always running from. I'm now living as a man again, getting real therapy for my self-esteem, and finally finding peace with who I actually am.
My detransition story
My journey with transition and detransition was complicated and, looking back, I think I was driven by a lot of things I didn't understand at the time. I was born male, and from a young age, I felt different and struggled to fit in. I had a lot of anxiety and low self-esteem, and I think I used the idea of being a woman as a form of escapism. It felt like a solution to all my problems, a way to become a completely different person and escape the parts of myself I hated.
A huge part of my initial feelings was what I now recognize as autogynephilia (AGP). It was a powerful sexual fantasy, this idea of myself as a woman. It was like a cycle: I’d get a rush from the fantasy and the idea of breaking a taboo, then I’d feel intense shame afterwards, and then the cycle would just start all over again. I confused this sexual excitement for a sign that I had a female identity. I also had a lot of internalized issues about being a man. I’d absorbed a lot of negative ideas about masculinity and felt a kind of disgust towards men and manhood in general, which I then turned inward on myself.
I started socially transitioning in my early twenties. I found a lot of community and validation online, but it was an echo chamber. It felt like the only acceptable option was to be affirmed without question. Any kind of therapy that asked "why" or tried to explore underlying issues was branded as conversion therapy, which made it impossible to get real help. I felt like my guardians, the therapists who were supposed to help me figure things out, had their hands tied. They could only say, "You're so brave," and write a letter for hormones.
I took hormones for a few years. While I was on them, I was deep in the ideology. I believed it completely and got angry at anyone who questioned the narrative. I saw how people would just placate trans people out of politeness or fear of being called a bigot, and part of me enjoyed that power, that feeling of "agree with me or else." But another part of me knew it was hollow.
The turning point came slowly. I started to see the magical thinking required to stay in that mindset. I saw people twisting reality to fit their trans narrative in the most absurd ways, and it woke me up. I realized I had been drowning in ideology and not living in reality. I began to understand that my desire to transition was rooted in a deep-seated hatred for myself as a man, a sexual paraphilia, and a desperate need to escape, not in any innate identity.
I stopped hormones and detransitioned. I had to face the person I was always trying to run from. Real self-acceptance, I learned, isn't about changing your body to match a fantasy; it's about finding peace with who you actually are. I don't regret my transition because it led me to this understanding, but I regret the permanent changes I made to my body based on a mistaken idea. I benefited from finally getting non-affirming therapy, which allowed me to actually explore my trauma, anxiety, and self-esteem issues instead of just masking them with a new identity.
My thoughts on gender now are that it's often a social construct we use to simplify very complex personal issues. For me, it was a trap. I'm happier now, living in reality and working on my actual problems, than I ever was when I was trying to become someone else.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 22 | Began socially identifying as a woman and using a new name. |
| 23 | Started estrogen hormone therapy. |
| 24-26 | Lived fully as a woman, deeply involved in online trans communities. |
| 27 | Began to question my transition, recognizing the AGP cycle and internalized misandry. |
| 27 | Stopped taking hormones. |
| 28 | Officially detransitioned and began living as a man again. |
| 29 | Started non-affirming therapy to address underlying trauma and self-esteem issues. |
Top Comments by /u/Backup_Bussy_Bomb:
Yup, there's definitely something there. What I've most often noticed is a severe, sometimes obsessive form of misandry. From "yuck, men are just gross" all the way to "I hate men and manhood so much that I'd blow every last one off the face of the Earth". Then the internalization grows so much that they direct all that hatred inside and suddenly find that they had a "female soul" all along.
Another noticeable/related trait: Intense, almost like, cult member levels of (unhealthy, blind) devotion to later waves of feminist theory.
OP, as with any big decision or major step in life, I advise that you really think (not idealize) things through and approach all this with depth and clarity... It is your life, body, mind, and future after all.
If you were a dear friend considering a similarly enormous life changing choice I would suggest that you tread very lightly and thoroughly weigh the potential Cons at least as much as you're romanticizing any possible Pros.
In all sincerity, so much of what you've mentioned in your post and comments is sounding like Internal Misandry (and external tbh,) a bit of Magical Thinking/"If Only"-Dreaming and intense, yet covert, Body Dysmorphia. That's a powerful cocktail to contend with and make permanent choices and changes from, OP.
All three of those, especially in conjunction, happen to be extremely common themes among people who want to or have transitioned, myself included (MTF). Especially among those who regretted it once the inevitable happens, the Daydreaming-Veil lifts and Reality comes crashing through the door.
It seems you have much evaluation then reevaluation and soul-searching to do (which many people do-it's a healthy practice) and whatever path you choose, I wish you nothing but genuine happiness and authentic joy, no matter what. So I'll leave you with this healthy guiding principle:
"Genuine self-acceptance is the font of sincere and lasting contentment."
Edited spelling.
Sadly, they're essentially imposing that you're unintelligent for somehow not swallowing every unfounded claim that they use to keep people swept up in their own self-serving ideology.
The great irony is that most of these people have (intentionally) low understandings of/only seek disingenuous, complete dismissals of the reliable and responsibly peer reviewed studies are out there that show that transition is absolutely nothing closer to what it's purported to be.
Real "advanced knowledge" would lead most of them to yet another existential crisis because facing reality and finding happiness within themselves takes much more effort and dedication than they're willing to put in to find true inner acceptance.
My best to you
I'm not OP, though I also find this phenomenon strangely interesting.
I think that, In truth, the absolute majority of everyday people are always simply going to pretend in our interactions. It's human nature - and most people are brought up - to be polite to others in person, no matter how much they disagree or misunderstand. I mean, hell, people have literally been r*ped or killed because they just couldn't give up that polite instinct.
I hate to see it, but TR activists have screwed the pooch on our PR. They go so hard and so hyperbolic so swiftly that I think most people who would have tried to really understand have just reached this tipping point where they're like, "I don't want to deal with the drama that always seems to surround 'those people', so I'm just gonna say what I have to in order to get myself out of this situation without a confrontation because I have bills to pay and gas to pump before I go work my shitty job today."
Like, I can sometimes even kinda empathize with some of the (otherwise genuinely decent) people's hesitancy. (NOT the pure assholes, of course)
Nobody wants to feel nervous around anyone. And very few people can give you their best when they're nervous - it's just a human truth.
But I can only say this because I've been blessed to have and find some of the most kind but most honest folks among them.
I fell a gut punch everytime I see a trans person falling for and just eating up the jaded appeasement of people who are really just avoiding all the eggshells. Because honestly, I know that many of those trans people are also silently enjoying the feeling that that "polite" person must be polite "or else."
It sucks, basically! :(
What do you think?
Edited
Someone please correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't it true that Conversion Therapy has had it's definition broadened (wrt trans issues, to include any and all therapeutic/counseling that is not entirely Affirmatively-Based)?
And newly activism based legislation has intentionally conflated gender-exploratative therapy with those horrific homosexual conversion techniques, and therefore, tied the hands and limited the tools of most gender therapists who WANT to help gender questioning people to explore and sort out any underlying issues that may end up being misconstrued as gender-dysphoria?
I don't see how therapists CAN even help folks who want an option besides "this is your issue, here is your rec, go get your hormones and I'll see you in 3 months. Oh, by the way, Great job! Your so brave and I'm happy to be here on this wonderful journey with you! K. Bye! No, no really, bye bye! No questions just affirmation! 3 months! Bye you beautiful butterfly!"
Our Guardians (i.e., people and practitioners who are meant to safeguard) hands and mouths continue to be tied tighter everyday it seems. What do we do???
Yesterday I happened to come across a post where OP shared a photo of the beautiful tulip fields in bloom in Holland and oh my God, if you could read the comments your brain would explode. I
Now I've seen some whacky, senseless stuff, but I was floored at how determined some people are to see things that aren't there and then go a step further and whip up entirely fictional narratives about why those things are there because of some apparent special and affirming hidden attempt at validation. (of course, only for the people who are entirely obsessed 24/7 with being seeing and fully drowning in their t-ransness.)
Ugh, I'm so glad I have a life now and that I was never very open to all of the (required) magical thinking that goes on in certain spaces, especially on Reddit and Twitter.
Hmmm...
So what exactly are you "questioning" about your gender if you have all the answers already, and, ya know, ALL THE PROVES? LMFAO.
I wish you much luck with your tragic total faith in Rodent-based "analogues" to supposedly Human Endo-Neurological "phenomenons."
Just remember: Sunken Cost Fallacies CAN BE LET GO.
All my best, sincerely.
Just stay alert to the fact that a huge part of AGP is the "cycling." Guys will go out, indulge in too much money on clothes ("It's just for fun"), feel the high, the sexual euphoria and the "breaking taboos" rush. Then they come down and reality kicks in so they swear wholeheartedly to never ever give in and do "that" again, (Shame feelings). Then, time goes by and "oh, it's just for fun! I've had such a stressful week!" And the sexual fantasy party kicks in in your mind, everything seems like it'll be "done right this time!" And then comes the clothes, the less-careful sex, the sexual euphoria, then... Yup, then comes the shame and now you're cycling.
For MANY addictions or paraphilias, the Intensity/Euphoria/Shame Cycle even becomes it's very own type of quazi addiction... But it will beat you everytime.
Just stay mindful OP. Commit to remaining very alert because you sound like you might be somewhere along the cycle right now, and even though I'm a stranger, I want good things for you - not a prison of your own design.
Please educate yourself beyond skewed statistics and Focus-Group-Tested talking points.
If you're questioning, then try using that answer seeking mindset as a way to survey various points of view and differing experiences.
Understanding the full picture will only positively benefit anybody who genuinely wants to find solid, honest, realistic ground from which to make decisions in their life.
Hello! Rando Redditor here, just wanted to say that I've seen and read many of your posts and it gives me how to see someone so dedicated to helping others understand and learn things they wouldn't have otherwise. Your perspective (and fierce protection of this space) are really necessary and I'm sure that there are countless confused or lost people out there who have either averted crisis or, at least, given their life & body altering decisions a healthier examination just by coming across your posts and comments.
You're doing a real Humanity-focused service and I hope you can feel wonderful about how far you go to help people out. Sometimes the most impactful love is kind acceptance, but sometimes that love is tough, and I see you offering both in non-judgemental ways. So kudos to you u/DetransIS !!
Keep up the good (reality + compassion) based fight for other's well beings!!