This story is from the comments by /u/Balecto that are listed below, summarised with AI.
User Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears to be authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user's posts are highly personal, emotionally consistent, and detail a complex, multi-year narrative of transition, detransition, and the specific physical, emotional, and social challenges they faced. The language is passionate and contains nuanced, individualized experiences (e.g., specific health issues, personal epiphanies, detailed social observations) that are not typical of scripted bot behavior. The account expresses a viewpoint common among some detransitioners: deep regret, feeling misled by medical providers, and criticism of trans community dynamics, all of which align with the stated passions and frustrations of real detransitioners and desisters.
About me
I was a masculine girl who started identifying as trans online at 12, influenced by trauma and undiagnosed autism. I lived as a man for seven years and started testosterone, but it numbed my emotions and caused severe health problems. After a personal epiphany, I realized I had lost myself and stopped hormones to begin my detransition. Reversing the changes was disorienting, and I regret not getting proper therapy to address my underlying issues first. Now I'm at peace simply being a woman, reconnected with my body and building a more authentic life.
My detransition story
My whole journey with transition and detransition was long and complicated. It started when I was really young, around 12 years old. I was a very masculine girl and I got caught up in online communities that introduced me to the idea of being trans. Looking back, I think a lot of things led me down that path. I had some early trauma and I’ve since been diagnosed with autism and Borderline Personality Disorder, which I now know can make your sense of identity feel really shaky. I also had a lot of internalized misogyny; I thought being a woman meant you had to be a certain way, and since I didn't fit that, I thought I must not be one. I admired men and wanted to be seen as "cool" and "level-headed," not a "crazy annoying woman."
I was out as a trans man for about seven years. I was so sure it was right for me; I had zero doubts. I started testosterone when I was 20. At first, it felt exciting and new, but that feeling didn't last. The testosterone didn't make me feel like a man; it just made me feel more trans, and stuck in the middle. It completely numbed my emotions. I couldn't cry at all; the only emotion I could feel was extreme anger. I also started having serious health problems almost immediately, like horrible pelvic and uterus pain that was so bad it would leave me immobile.
Living as a man was incredibly lonely and hard. Dating was miserable. I identified as a gay trans man, but it felt like my only option was to date other trans people, and I found that community to be really toxic. I experienced a lot of pressure and even abuse from within that group. I also felt a huge disconnect from both men and women. I didn't grow up as a boy, so I couldn't relate to cis men, and by transitioning, I had lost my connection to women.
The turning point for me happened when I was 20, about a year after starting testosterone. I had a kind of epiphany after smoking weed. It was like a fog lifted. I looked around at my life and realized how much I was losing. My life had become entirely about being trans—hormones, surgery, passing—and I had lost sight of everything else. I realized I wanted a future with a partner and kids, and I wanted to be loved for who I really am, not for a persona I had created. I stopped testosterone and began my detransition.
Coming off testosterone was a relief in many ways. My emotions came flooding back, and I could cry again. The severe physical pain I was in started to get better. But it was also really hard. I had something I call "reverse dysphoria," which felt even worse than my original gender dysphoria. I had spent years conditioning myself to see a man in the mirror, and now I had to learn to see a woman again. It took a lot of work and was very disorienting.
I don't regret my journey because it led me to where I am now, but I do regret the permanent changes. My voice is permanently deeper, and I have other effects from the testosterone. I regret that I wasn't given better therapy beforehand. My doctors just affirmed me without question and handed me testosterone at my first appointment. I wasn't even properly diagnosed with gender dysphoria. I later found out I have an intersex condition that was never explained to me, which contributed to my masculine traits. If I had had non-affirming therapy that helped me explore my trauma, my autism, and my internalized issues, I don't think I would have transitioned.
Now, I see gender very differently. I don't think it's something you need to have. I just want to be me. I’m comfortable being a woman, but I see it as my sex, not a set of rules I have to follow. I’ve found a loving boyfriend who accepts my past and all the changes to my body. I’ve reconnected with womanhood and found solidarity with other women. My life is calmer and more authentic now.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 12 | Started identifying as transgender online. |
| 13-19 | Socially transitioned and lived as a male. |
| 20 | Started testosterone. |
| 20 | Stopped testosterone after ~1 year due to health issues and a personal epiphany. Began detransition. |
| 21 | Continued detransition, working on self-acceptance and healing. |
Top Reddit Comments by /u/Balecto:
I smoked enough weed to kill a man and then basically had an epiphany about everything I was doing. Like I remember looking around at my trans friends and thinking like damn, yall act so strange. Like I just knew that I wasn’t like them and didn’t belong there. After that I started noticing how cis people were living normally and how we weren’t. I realized how I was treated by cis people vs. trans. I realized my life goals had changed from when I first started transitioning. Suddenly, my life didn’t revolve around hormones and surgery anymore. It felt like I had been un-blinded. I called my mom and I was a mess when I explained it to her. I had already stopped taking T for about a month then. I ended up moving in with a friend shortly after and lowkey had a lot of pressure from them to start on testosterone again because “No, of course youre a man.” or “I dont know you’d be such an ugly girl.” Just things like that so I was seriously pressured into giving it another shot. It lasted a month before I stopped again and just moved back in with my mother. Now my parents are helping me go through with my detransition during quarantine.
That’s my detrans coming out story. Sounds like you had a similar epiphany-like experience as me. My advice is to at least stop transitioning now. It won’t matter because we’re quarantined anyways. Use this time to explore yourself.
Autism is also extremely under diagnosed in women. Like ridiculously under diagnosed. Autistic traits are seen as “normal submissive woman traits” in a lot of cases especially higher functioning autistic people. I also have autism and got sucked into all this. Didn’t know until after I transitioned and it all made a lot more sense. Our woman’s mental health care is a fucking joke.
That’s ridiculous because I don’t even think the Gender Critical sub should’ve been banned at all. Just because people don’t agree with your views doesn’t mean they should be banned and silenced. This sub is the ONLY place we can talk about our detransition and the trans ideology within and not get banned. If you don’t like what we say, just don’t read it???
And you are 100% correct. Especially considering they ended up not even diagnosing me with GID so I had to pay for hormones out of pocket after my insurance stopped covering it. I think it also has to do with politics. They just go ahead giving hormones out like candy so they don’t lose their job for being “transphobic”.
It’s a multitude of reasons in my case. For me, it was a lot of early on trauma, personality disorders, and coping with those with escapism and identity issues with affirmation therapy. I was extremely masculine and everything until I realized what I really wanted.
My advice is really think about what you want as your endgame. Testosterone isn’t a magic drug that turns you into a cis man. Unfortunately all it does is put you in between. There will always be the disconnection between you and cis men. Testosterone and surgery will never be enough for dysphoria. Living the transition lifestyle was harder than living with severe dysphoria. It’s lonely and hard. Keep in mind the other 99% of the population aren’t like you and will never understand you and most likely think you’re weird.
I don’t mean to discourage you, because some people can live like that and be happy, but just keep it in mind. Some people’s transitions just end up that way. If you decide on transitioning for good, I hope it ends well for you. If you don’t, I hope that also ends well for you.
I wouldn’t be so sure just yet. I don’t doubt the feelings you have are valid (they are 100%) but no matter how sure you are now it really can change. I was the same as you. I was trans at like 13 before I even knew what it was, I just wanted to be a boy. I didn’t detransition until I was 20/21 after I got on testosterone because I was so sure. You could be trans for real, but you might not be 4 or 5 years from now. You’re still a lot younger than you think. There’s nothing wrong with just presenting male without hormones because hormones really won’t change how people perceive you at all. You will still be a transman. You should definitely wait until you’re in your 20’s before committing to it indefinitely. T is very powerful so it’s not gonna hurt you to take it later in life, but ultimately it’s your decision. If you’re trans that’s cool, but if you aren’t then you’ll make the worst mistake of your life. Just really think on it, okay?
I’ve literally met so many trans MAPS it’s ridiculous. And also ones that “age regress” without actually understanding what trauma age regressing is and it just being ddlg to them. I had a trans boyfriend who would pretend to be a baby and make me act like his father and I HATED it and told him it made me so uncomfortable but IM being problematic for “criticizing his coping mechanisms” for the trauma he pretended to have. A lot of them pretended to have trauma too as an excuse for abusing other people.
Mhm. It’s so normalized. I’ve never met someone in the community that wasn’t severely traumatized by the community. Especially how vulnerable trans people are in dating and sex. I literally had a boyfriend make me promise to him that I wouldn’t accuse him of sexual assault in the future and thought it was normal. It’s horrible.
Same here. It’s insane the abuse we experience. I’ve actually never met a transwoman but in my experience was trans men and Amabs who pretended to be nonbinary to “fit in” with the young impressionable trans men. I knew a “nonbinary” amab who surrounds himself with transmen just to “outman” them and attempt to dominate them socially as well as easy sexual advances because unfortunately, trans men are vulnerable to that.
i had such a deep voice when I stopped T and now I’m like barely off from my original voice. its all about practicing different ways to speak until you get comfortable. you might sound forced at first but once you get used to elevating your pitch it will come naturally. i cant even deepen my voice as deep as i used to naturally have it. now i just have more voice range and its honestly really funny because i can do impressions to some degree with my voice range and my bf and friends think it’s hilarious. it’ll get better!!!