This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user's narrative is consistent and detailed, describing a specific desister experience (using blockers but not testosterone, struggling with pronouns, and reconciling as a GNC woman). Their advice to others is nuanced, practical, and aligns with common detrans/desister perspectives. The passion and criticism of trans ideology are within expected bounds for this community.
About me
I started questioning my gender as a teenager because I was a tomboy and felt uncomfortable with my developing female body. I was influenced by friends and online spaces and even tried hormone blockers, but I realized I never wanted to be male. I understand now my discomfort came from other issues like an eating disorder, autism, and internalized sexism. I've socially detransitioned and am now happily living as a masculine woman. I'm getting proper help and have learned that my clothes don't define my womanhood.
My detransition story
My whole journey with this started when I was a teenager. I never felt like I had a typical "girl" personality; I was always more of a tomboy and I was really uncomfortable with the changes that happened to my body during puberty. I hated developing breasts and felt really weird and undesirable. A lot of people I was friends with or knew online were starting to come out as trans or non-binary, and it felt like that was the answer for me too. I thought that if I wasn't a feminine girl, then I must be something else.
I started questioning my gender and experimented with using they/them and she/they pronouns for a while, but I absolutely hated being called 'they'. It never felt right. I also went on hormone blockers for a period of time during high school, but I never took testosterone. I presented very masculine, but I realized I never actually had real gender dysphoria because I didn't like being called a man or male. It was a bad decision for me to even go down that path.
Looking back, I understand now that my feelings weren't about being born in the wrong body. I was dealing with a lot of other things that I was confusing for being trans. I had an eating disorder, I'm autistic, I had horrible self-image issues, and I had some past trauma. I also had really low self-esteem and anxiety. I think a lot of my discomfort came from internalized stuff about how women are perceived and the pressure to be a certain way. Why is being a masculine lesbian seen as bad? I think a lot of it is tied to sexism.
I also got really influenced by online spaces and anime culture, which often portrays characters with unrealistic body types and genders in a way that can mess with your head. It felt like an escape from my own reality.
Detransitioning for me was actually pretty straightforward because I had only transitioned socially and hadn't done any permanent medical changes. I just told people to call me by my birth name again and to use she/her pronouns. To be honest, no one really stopped or made a big deal out of it because I still looked very feminine underneath the masculine clothes I wore.
Now, I'm much happier. I've accepted that I'm just a gender non-conforming woman. I'm getting proper treatment for my eating disorder, my autism, and my self-image issues. I've learned that I'm a cis woman who dresses masculine, and that doesn't make me any less of a woman. Women can be strong, powerful, and wonderful people. There is nothing wrong with being perceived as and being a woman.
I don't regret exploring my identity because it led me to a place of deeper self-understanding, but I do regret that I ever thought I needed to change my body or identity to fit in. I believe we are supposed to exist in our own bodies comfortably and dress however we’d like, and know it doesn’t make us less of what we truly are.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 13-14 | Started puberty; felt intense discomfort with breast development and body changes. |
| 15 | Began questioning gender identity; influenced by trans and non-binary friends and online communities. |
| 16 | Experimented with they/them and she/they pronouns; hated it. Took hormone blockers for a short period. |
| 17 | Presented very masculine but realized I did not have gender dysphoria and disliked being perceived as male. |
| 18 | Stopped all medical intervention. Socially detransitioned by asking people to use my birth name and she/her pronouns. |
| Present (20) | Living happily as a gender non-conforming female, receiving therapy for underlying issues. |
Top Comments by /u/BallsackInMyAss:
The thing is, you can’t be a “regular man” if you’re a trans man. You likely take artificial testosterone, have chromosomes that are anything but XY, XYY or XXY, and have ovaries & a uterus & a vagina. So even if you identify as a man, unless you were born a biological man, you’re a trans or an intersex man.
It probably depends on the person. For me, transitioning was because I felt weird and undesirable, despite the fact I wanted the opposite effect (many people I was friends with or knew were trans). Detransitioning for me was easy, since I just told people to call me by my name again & use she/her again (tbh though no one stopped bc I still looked very feminine). I never had gender dysphoria, I had an eating disorder, autism, horrible self image issues and trauma. Now I’m happier as a gnc female getting treatment for the things I need.
I think it comes from a deeper insecurity. While I don’t doubt that there are some people out there who are genuinely transgender, it erases feminine gay men and masculine gay women. Not every person is going to be transgender because they want to present in other gender roles. A lot of it has to do with the fact sexism is still so prevalent, and the trans men who feel dysphoric also feel like they’re seen as “lesser” if they’re presented as female. I believe it has to do with internal sexism more than anything - because why is looking as a masc lesbian bad?
Absolutely. Every trans or detrans person I’ve ever met is a fan of anime. And I’ve seen the ones they watch - lots of femboys and just people who don’t look even remotely close to realistic proportions. It’s sad, really. I don’t care if someone likes some anime but it’s excessive nowadays.
Voice can be changed with voice therapy. There’s some free stuff online if you’d like. And you’d want to be more soft spoken to get comfortable. Your hair can be grown out, if you want that. There’s estrogen if you want to even out some of the testosterone effects. And some feminine clothes if you still have some. I know it’s easy to say, but if you give it time, it’ll get better.
In my opinion, I think what you should do is go out into the world as yourself. Maybe spend some time running errands without binding your chest, packing, etc. and see how that feels. I’m not saying you have to wear dresses, skirts or makeup, or have long hair, but if you see something in that realm you think you’d like, try it on and see how it feels. Maybe start small with accessories you’d like. If after maybe a month or two you see that it wasn’t so bad, then keep your biology and practice self acceptance. Remember that we aren’t supposed to take hormones or alter our body to become the other gender, we are supposed to exist in our own bodies comfortably and dress however we’d like, and know it doesn’t make us less of what we truly are.
You look like a male with soft features. I’m a cis woman with PCOS & a naturally small bust (not top surgery), so I have many masculine features (more hair on face, stomach & legs, deep voice, etc). I try to make it up by looking more feminine in other regards, like growing my hair out, wearing makeup or dressing feminine. It would probably be a good idea to grow your hair out, or style it in a more feminine way, & shave.
I was on hormone blockers but never testosterone. I presented very masculine during high school but never had gender dysphoria (wouldn’t like being called male). It was a bad decision for me to even question it (I experimented with they/them or she/they pronouns and hated being called ‘they’), and just needed to accept being a tomboy. While I’m luckier than those who’ve been on testosterone or estrogen, I’d say for me it was because it was a bad decision. I learned that I’m a cis woman who dresses masculine, and it doesn’t make me less of a woman.
Of course, I’m happy to help. But for the other part, there is nothing wrong with being perceived as and being a woman. Women can be strong, powerful, wonderful people who go through a lot. And one good place to start with accessories is just picking ones in a color you like to wear, or from a fandom you’re a part of.