Hi, we are struggling to a similar thing. What actually helped me a lot is to understand that, for being a male, you only have to be a biological one. There is nothing other than it, being a boy, a man etc. It’s just having a male sex. Also, it’s evident by your story how you extremely admire and love women. Like when you said: “I hated being the boyfriend. I hope we could just be both girlfriends” which is something I struggle a lot with. I want you to reflect a minute: why do you admire and idolise so much women? Why do you can only admire women?

I think you’re an old school Marxist. I honestly respect your views if so, but it’s objectively true that post-modernist/post-structuralist views of Deleuze, Foucault and Althusser, which extrapolated the Marxist analysis in a neo-Marxist way inspired by Frankfurt’s school. You might say: “yes, but Marxism is materialistic, scientific and dialectical, while postmodernism is the opposite, nihilistic, anti scientific and anti Hegelian, but Marx thought ended up being used by academical pseudo-Nietzschean who used the Marxist paradigm of structure and of the hegelo-deterministic class struggle for creating what I call “desire’s anarchism” which is useful to modern day capitalism-and therefore to transgender ideology.

Do introspection, reflect, if you can (but I doubt since you’re 14) do therapy. Leave all the sub/YouTube channel/forum etc. About gender. Try to know why you feel gender dysphoria, why you want to be a boy. Remember that your brain is still developing, and that often gender dysphoria get a lot weaker growing up. Good luck.

I understand how you feel. I am a nerdy, introverted and bullied a lot boy, that fell down in an addiction to internet and porn, and really into the political debate, which make me feel in contact with gender ideologies. My advice: stop staying on internet. Stop thinking about gender. Try to live your life lonely for sometimes, to value what’s good for you. Then, try to have some different examples. I think the web is damaging a lot of young boys with ultra-masculine role and a cruel mentality. See other boy models, like musicians, artists, writers, that aren’t extremely masculine. Stay strong my dude.

I think you’re just searching something funny to do, to be. Something that make you feel good. Trans identity doesn’t make you feel good, it is an illusion. Try to live a better life, with some purpose, some goal to achieve, try to create your life, do to things that make you feel really good, and don’t find this feeling of euphoria in gender.

I can share my experience.

The first thing to do is overcoming any shame you have. Shame is a strong feeling and won’t only make you feel bad, but could also make your agp stronger. Bc we get addicted to anxious feelings. Second, try to embrace it in a healthy way, i.e. without feeling possessed by it. So, divide fantasy from reality and try to embrace the fantasy in a conscious and moderate way. This will make it extremely weaker

The only message that I could gave you is: be what you want to be. Remember that a lot of girl actually like masculine clothes, and that doesn’t make you trans. The fact that you have dysphoria about not being feminine as other girl isn’t causal. I think that the fact that you like to be called in a masculine way is related, in a certain way, also to it. I notice that when people doesn’t feel their body or their character as similiar to the other people of their assigned gender, they can create a mechanism of identify to the other gender. That’s obviously a my theory, you can easily don’t care about it. Anyway, I wanna ask you another thing: why you’d start to questioning your gender identity? I think this is important.

I disagree. Our life is inherently based on surviving, and in a desert island the concept itself of gender wouldn’t exist. Gender is, in facts just gender norms, if we talk in an essentialist ways (and in nature we live always in an essentialist way). But gender norms were mostly created when we became civilised. Before, we yet had some kind of gender norms, but they were just essential tendencies based on biology. Men had to hunt and search food just because their body was physically stronger than the women’s one. We didn’t have any type of dysphoria at the time, neither we had any idea of the possibility that you might be a woman or that you might became one. Surely the thought could pass in the head, maybe you can also find it nice, but you wouldn’t thought of becoming one, you would just go and hunt.

Imo I think that male rarely accept their problem, because of more social pressure to be a strong masculine man. So, a lot of agp men transition to female just do satisfy their fetish for an escape to the “you’re not a real man since you crossdress/have agp fantasies” so tend to be a trans woman for more time. While females accept easily the fact that they have a fetish and detransition, also because the social pressure about gender role isn’t so high. Obviously not all detrasn people have transitioned for a fetish, but there are a big part who did it.

Isn’t a question of identity. You are a man when you have XY chromosome, which comports having some primary and second sexual characteristics. You are a woman when you have XX chromosome, which comports having other primary and secondary sexual characteristics. Yes, there are syndromes, in which someone with XY chromosome have female sexual characteristics, but they are ILLNESSES. Not going to discriminate someone, but changing the concept of man and woman for someone having some illnesses is mad.