I respect this take especially considering you're the first person to outright disagree with the entire premise of my post but I will say I think transitioning is incredibly appearance-related and when you take the step to start HRT and realize you're not getting the results you've fantasized or imagined getting and instead are becoming unattractive by societal standards, I think that can have a pretty significant toll on your mental health and self image.

Appearance is important to a lot of people, how you look is a reflection of yourself so I don't think someone detransitioning because they're appalled by the way T accentuates their worst qualities is unrealistic. It's an extremely nuanced and modern issue, I think it's perfectly plausible for someone to detrans because they feel unattractive on HRT if that makes sense.

I feel like I'm starting to lean that direction for sure, I can see myself as a woman just a very androgynous/ masc one, I don't think I'll ever be a feminine woman at this point nor do I necessarily want to be. I think it's as simple as being a lesbian and mistaking my insecurities growing up for gender dysphoria.

I'm a year and some change on T (just stopped two weeks ago to see how I feel) and have had some cystic acne lately but nothing consistent and I understand what you're saying about the skin care but funnily enough I'm a licensed skin therapist so I could never go cold turkey on skin care haha.

But yes, I agree with your main point. I tried to avoid using words like disgusting because I wasn't sure how people would take this post but to be honest when I see these kinds of people it makes me sad for them, what a difficult life they must lead to look like that in our brutal society. The body mod thing is an interesting take I think I can believe, so many alternative-looking women transition to male, become unattractive and gain weight but still dress like an alternative woman, this whole phenomenon happening right now in the trans community is extremely strange and uncanny.

This is probably one of the worst effects testosterone has had on my body, the aging is quick and unexpected on top of your facial pores enlarging and the amount of oil on your skin makes acne and dark spots hell to deal with. I can't find much information on this topic specifically, but do you think this is a symptom that can be reversed to an extent when estrogen is re-introduced back into the body?

Nope, not Ezra Bulter, actually in comparison to the person I referenced, Ezra looks like he could assimilate into society just fine as long as he keeps the makeup and feminine outfits at home or for gay clubs lol. Ezra is a little unbalanced proportionally which happens more often than not with mid-size and plus-size individuals who start testosterone but he's not unsettling to look at in the same way a lot of trans guys on the internet are to me but that's just my personal opinion.

That's how I feel, my voice is deeper than most trans guys I know because I've been voice training since 11 years old basically and now it's just my natural pattern of speaking, I wonder if, at this point, I should just accept androgyny as a female but a part of me just kind of doesn't want to be a 'freak' to society anymore.

This is so good to hear tbh, I have seen the photos and it's crazy how much T changes the fat distribution in your face and it does make me feel pretty hopeful, my hairline has definitely receded but nothing insane and there are things I can do to restore what I've lost, ty for your comment

Thanks for replying to my unorganized stream of thoughts with this very well-written take! I think I mostly agree, there are definitely trans men who do pass socially as male and look balanced and natural on testosterone but I'm seeing an uptick of trans (ftm) creators who, like you said, seem totally unaware of how they're presenting and what they look like to normal people in the outside world.

It may seem shallow or unimportant what the "outside world" thinks of these people who are just trying to self express and be 'themselves' but it's incredibly important for one's own social and mental health and well-being as well as just generally being successful in life. I think a lot of trans people are socially isolating themselves in this way and I can only imagine the mental turmoil that must be involved.

As someone who is a biological female and has been on testosterone for a little over a year (I stopped two weeks ago today), I can't imagine going down the path I'm currently on which in all honesty is a pretty lonely and damaging one regardless if I decide I'm content in my transition or not, and on top of that deciding to completely reject my normalcy and neglect my self care and presentation, it just seems like self-destruction and a very obvious and unattractive one.

Hopefully this makes sense, again I mean no malice and have no intention of bullying, I'm just voicing my observations and personal opinions, thanks again for the reply :)