This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic.
There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic user. The comments display a consistent, emotionally charged personal narrative about struggling with gender norms, sexuality, and mental health (OCD), which aligns with the passionate and often distressed perspective of a genuine desister. The writing style is personal, nuanced, and contains human inconsistencies, such as emotional outbursts and self-corrections.
About me
I'm a man who spent years struggling with anxiety and depression, which led me to question if I was trans. I realized my discomfort wasn't with being male, but with the pressure to fit a narrow masculine stereotype. My gender questioning was a form of escapism from that pressure and my other mental health struggles. I never medically transitioned, and I'm now working on accepting myself as a heterosexual man who doesn't fit the mold. It's a daily challenge to make peace with being a different kind of man.
My detransition story
Of course. Here is my summary, based on my comments.
My whole journey with gender has been tangled up with a lot of other struggles, mainly my OCD and depression. I never really transitioned medically, but I spent a long time stuck in my head, questioning if I was trans. The core of it was this intense discomfort with the pressure to be a certain type of man. I hated the idea that being a male who is sensitive or has what people call "feminine" traits means you're broken or not a real man. I saw this message everywhere, and it made me feel awful.
A lot of my anxiety gets triggered by stress, especially from college. The pressure to perform and be a certain way is overwhelming, and it often makes me feel so beaten down that I can't function. It's a daily battle. In the middle of all this, I started to wonder if my discomfort with male stereotypes meant I wasn't really a man at all. I think my OCD latched onto this as a way to explain all my pain. It was easier for my brain to fixate on the idea of being trans than to accept a simpler, but scarier, truth for me: that I might be a heterosexual male who doesn't fit the narrow box society has for us.
I have a lot of internal conflict about my sexuality. I wish it was more normalised for a straight guy to be soft or expressive. I get so angry and frustrated that it's not the norm. I get stuck in loops thinking, "If I'm a heterosexual male, can I really have these emotions or want to express myself in this way?" It causes me a lot of distress.
Watching things like big public events sometimes makes this worse. I remember watching one live and feeling really disturbed. It felt like instead of showing that it's okay for men to be feminine, it went to a weird extreme that just felt like a mockery. Seeing a naked blue man was the point where I had to turn it off. It didn't feel like acceptance; it felt like a spectacle that just deepened my confusion.
I've never taken hormones or had surgery. My transition was all in my mind, a social and internal struggle. I now see that a lot of my questioning was a form of escapism from my depression, anxiety, and the pressure to be a "normal" man. I don't regret exploring these thoughts because it led me to understand myself better, but I regret the amount of time and mental energy I lost to the anxiety. I've benefited from reading other people's perspectives online, especially the idea of finding "low pressure, low stress" ways to cope, but I still find it hard to apply that to my life. It's also really hard for me, as a man, to show vulnerability and ask for the help I know I need.
Looking back, I think my issues were more about body dysmorphia and low self-esteem shaped by society's expectations, not an innate gender identity. I was trying to solve a problem of social discomfort with a gender-based solution, when what I really needed was to find peace with being a different kind of man.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Throughout teens and early 20s | Struggled with depression, anxiety, and OCD. Felt intense discomfort and pressure to conform to male stereotypes. |
| Early 20s | Began internally questioning my gender identity, considering if I might be trans. This was a social and internal process only. |
| Early 20s | Realised my gender questioning was linked to OCD, internalised homophobia (specifically, the fear of being a feminine heterosexual male), and was a form of escapism from life pressures like college. |
| Present (early 20s) | Understood that my discomfort was not with being male, but with societal expectations of masculinity. I am detransitioning from the idea of being trans and working on accepting myself as a heterosexual male. |
Top Comments by /u/Big-Dinner-2420:
I think your maybe to hard trying to "not fall for far right propaganda". I didn't overthought it soo much, It was only what I felt, the emotions I had. When I watched it (live) I didn't want to assume anything (when I saw what looked like a parody of the Last Dinner paint), but as the show progressed it got weirder and weirder. I 100% agree that males shouldn't be look down for showing "feminine" traits, but they went too far. Did you saw the blue guy? At that point it was enough for me and i needed to get up, even thought the guy was naked at first... gosh
Yes, you are right. 100%. Pushing to men that they are broken if have anything feminine in them is what leads so many of us here. The point of my vent was that the hole parade/show was, IMO, the opposite to trying to bring peace at young men (or men in general) that it's ok to be male and have "feminine" traits, or even that you can have them while being straight. Rather than doing that, they just went full on with what we have saw (IMO: very disturbing and way out of context, with even minors involved, and mocking a religion).
I feel you, I wish it could be normalize to not only be "feminine" and male but also be those two AND heterosexual. I can't stand how much I hate hate hate it not being the norm.
I can't stand how constantly i get stuck in my head thinking about how if im male and heterosexual i could be having those emotions/or desires to express those emotions/or desire to express those emotions in a particular way...
it's bad
Wow... i really can't explain the emotion i get after reading something soo true and helpful that i have never thought about it before ("Low pressure low stress"!! thanks.
Of course having ocd is a huge throwback, but if I think what "triggered" these thoughts yesterday was (and always is) the pressure of stuff related to college. I love your advice on finding a low pressure and low stress activity to help win each battle day by day (this is also sooo true, is a daily battle...), but I don't see it being possible because of college making me always having a reminder in the back of my mind telling me "you should be doing something college related right now" AND, also literally having to go to college creates a huge friction and makes me so tired....
I feel very beaten down because i trully wish I could be able to funciton like normal people and go to college and just don't feel like kms so fuc*ing often... I end up not being able to do anything, neither go to college, neither win over these thoughts...
huge thanks anyways, you gave me a key concept to think about... now i need to get through life till finding the moment (and energy) to be able to tell someone about all my struggles so I can find some kind of help... kinda difficult accepting (as male) that showing vulnerabilty is a sign of strength :/
I know the differences between the two of them, just that it easier for me to disregard the idea of being trans than the idea of being gay.
But thanks for the comment and for saying that my question was thought provoking, I really wish I could be more like that.