This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic.
There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor. The user's perspective is nuanced, internally consistent, and reflects the complex, often critical, and passionate views found within the detrans/desister community. The comments show personal reflection, a clear ideological evolution (e.g., discovering radical feminism), and a focus on non-transition methods for managing dysphoria, which aligns with a genuine desister experience.
About me
I started out as a young woman who felt trapped by society's expectations of femininity, and I thought becoming a man was my only way out. I socially transitioned after being surrounded by the idea that transition was the only solution for my dysphoria. Discovering radical feminism helped me see my discomfort was with sexist stereotypes, not my female body itself. I realized I could just be a woman who rejects femininity, and that understanding made my dysphoria fade away. Now I'm comfortable living as a female without any labels, and I'm grateful I found a different path before making any permanent changes.
My detransition story
My whole journey with gender started because I felt really uncomfortable with the expectations placed on me as a female. I hated the idea of being seen as feminine or being objectified just for existing. I had gender dysphoria, and for a long time, I believed the only way to deal with it was to transition. I thought that if I wasn't a woman, I could escape all of that.
I started identifying as non-binary and then later as a trans man. I was living in an LGBT dorm with a lot of trans people, and that environment definitely influenced me. The message I kept hearing was that if you have dysphoria, you are trans, and the only solution is to transition. I had a therapist who reinforced this, telling me that my doubts were just internalized transphoria.
But something never felt quite right. I started reading about radical feminism, and it was like a lightbulb went off. It helped me see that my discomfort wasn't with my female body itself, but with the gender roles and stereotypes forced onto women. I realized that performing femininity wasn't what made someone a woman. A woman is simply an adult human female. Letting go of the entire concept of gender is what finally made my dysphoria fade away. I understood that I could be a female who rejected femininity without having to change my body or identity.
I never medically transitioned. I only transitioned socially, which meant changing my name and pronouns for a while. I'm grateful I didn't take hormones or get surgery, because I now see that path wouldn't have been right for me. I think my dysphoria came from being an atypical female who felt ostracized and from internalizing society's harsh rules for women. Connecting with other gender-nonconforming females was a huge help.
I don't think transitioning is a good or necessary treatment for most people with gender dysphoria. I believe it's a choice, and one that comes with a lot of upkeep and potential health risks. The idea of "gender euphoria" often wears off after a few years. For me, the better path was to challenge the root cause: the ideology of gender itself. I also think there's a link to internalized homophobia for some people; the idea of being "born in the wrong body" can be a way to avoid dealing with same-sex attraction.
I don't regret exploring my identity, because it led me to where I am now. But I do regret not having other perspectives presented to me earlier. The only people who opposed my transition when I was considering it denied that dysphoria was real, which wasn't helpful. What I needed was someone to acknowledge my pain but offer a different solution. Now, I see myself as a female, and that's it. I'm attracted to men, but I struggle with the gender roles in heterosexual relationships, so I'm not sure what that means for my future. I'm just trying to live my life without labels, focusing on things like reading and cooking instead of being online all the time.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 18 | Started experiencing significant discomfort with feminine gender roles and developed gender dysphoria. Began identifying as non-binary. |
| 19 | Socially transitioned, using a different name and pronouns. Lived in an LGBT-influenced environment. |
| 20 | Discovered radical feminist ideas and began to question my transition. Started the process of desisting. |
| 21 | Stopped identifying as trans and fully embraced my identity as a gender-nonconforming female. My dysphoria significantly decreased. |
Top Comments by /u/Blackamite_Cat:
I feel like gender is a whole ideology. Like, part of me desisting was realizing that all the things that make a trans woman a woman are not actually related to being female at all. Thus, my definition of woman has fundamentally changed to biological female, because that's what I am and if it were anything else then I could not be it and neither could plenty of other dysphoric or butch women imo.
I think most people don't have a gender in the same way that trans people do, so by a trans person's definition they're not even 'cis'. If cis is not defining yourself by artificial gender roles, then I'm cis I guess.
How I understand it from a gender abolitionist stance (I'm not the best at explaining things though sorry):
Gender roles like wearing dresses/revealing clothes, makeup, doing housework etc are uncomfortable, downplay women's potential outside of being sex objects/mothers, and mostly benefit men. Even if an individual woman likes them (because she is socialized to do so), it does not mean they are helpful.
In an ideal world, womanhood would not be associated with performed femininity, however trans politics implies that women naturally enjoy it and that performing femininity is actually more important to being a woman than biological sex. Thus, harmful gender stereotypes are perpetuated instead of being eliminated.
(take into context that most females struggle with their femininity/societal expectations at some point because being a woman is not an easy role in our society. )
yeah me too! Radical feminism helped me a lot in dealing with my dysphoria, but I'm living in an lgbt dorm with a lot of trans ppl that really would not agree.
Its interesting too how they'll talk about hating terfs, but will agree with some radfem arguments when not presented as such. but that really depends on the person.
honestly I think the people here criticizing you over use of semantics are kind of silly, we all know what you're trying to say even if we think it could be worded better.
I'm assuming you were meaning that people treated you different when presenting as a woman? I'm honestly curious in which ways?
honestly I think a lot of homophobic people may agree with components of trans ideology - for example, the idea of being in the wrong body was originally used against gay people. Of course american conservatives aren't like that but I could certainly see someone with internalized homophobia trying to "solve" their same sex attraction using trans rationalizations.
to clarify my actual beliefs - I don't think transitioning is a good treatment for gender dysphoria so I can't agree with it, but I don't think there's any reason to be a jerk to people about it which is why I'm happy to respect them if they want me to refer to them in a certain way.
I also see the issues that the movement poses for feminism but I stay away from talking about that with people irl...
imo, there's no such this as 'cis' or 'trans' in the way people usually think of it - that is to say, transition is a choice you make based on whether you think it will be beneficial to you. (This is from someone who should by all means have been trans because I had gender dysphoria, but realized that transitioning wasn't the best way to deal with it).
If taking HRT makes you feel more comfortable, you sound like you've thought through the pros and cons well so I'd say go for it. In addition, if you want to present what society sees as feminine but acknowledge your reality as male (even while taking HRT), there's nothing wrong with that. It might confuse very progressive people who expect certain people to be trans but I think it's silly that gnc people are expected to identify as another gender anyway.
technically one can do any of those things as a male too. People may be equally as confused but it's not necessary to reject your sex.
If OP wanted to use a feminine name and dress feminine but still identify as male, there wouldn't be anything wrong with that and would probably have similar results.
The fact that the only people who opposed my transition while I was going through it tried to say dysphoria didn't exist was really not helpful. I get frustrated too when people try to imply that trans people are just doing because they think it's cool or whatever. I wish more people would acknowledge dysphoria and the reasons for transition while still being able to criticize transitioning as a solution (of course, radfems do tend to, which is how I figured out desisting).
I like the idea of dysphoria coming from being ostracized as an atypical male/female since I actually think that lines up a lot with my experience! I think you're quite right there tbh.
On the other hand I do wonder sometimes about those people you hear about who have had dysphoria since they're like 5 yrs old. Although they really are not the majority of people that the modern trans movement is targeting, and often end up being homosexual/not transitioning anyway.