This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the comments provided, the account appears authentic. The user demonstrates nuanced understanding, personal investment, and a consistent, multi-faceted perspective over a year-long period. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic detransitioner/desister. The passion and anger expressed are consistent with someone who has experienced harm on this issue.
About me
I started feeling deeply uncomfortable with my female body during puberty and looked for answers online, where I was influenced by communities that presented transition as a solution. I almost medically transitioned, but learning about the serious health risks and surgical complications made me pause and question my true motivations. I realized my discomfort wasn't with being female, but with societal expectations and my own self-esteem. I never took hormones or had surgery, and I'm now at peace being a masculine woman. I focus on my health and hobbies, knowing my value isn't tied to how I look.
My detransition story
My whole journey with this started because I was deeply uncomfortable with my body, especially during puberty. I hated my breasts and felt really awkward about them. I would wear baggy shirts and layers, even in the summer, just to hide them. I stopped going swimming because I hated how swimsuits fit and felt. I think a lot of it was tied to not wanting to be looked at in a sexual way.
I started spending a lot of time online and got influenced by trans communities. I saw people talking about how transitioning solved all their problems, and it seemed like an escape from how I was feeling. I was also dealing with depression and low self-esteem, and the idea of becoming someone else was really appealing. For a while, I thought I might be a trans man. I considered taking testosterone and even thought about top surgery.
But I started to have doubts. I saw more and more stories about people who had serious health complications from hormones and surgeries. I heard about people who became infertile, had heart problems, or had surgeries that went really wrong. It scared me. I realized that medical transition wasn't the simple, happy solution it was often made out to be. I began to question why I wanted those changes. Was it because I truly felt I was a man, or was it because I just didn't like the stereotypes and expectations placed on me as a woman?
I remember asking myself a lot of hard questions: Did I dislike my feminine features because they were feminine, or just because I didn't like them on me? Did I want to look like a man, or did I just want to look more androgynous? I also learned that for some people, feelings of gender dysphoria can be linked to other things, like past trauma or internalized homophobia. I wondered if my discomfort was really about my gender, or if it was about something else entirely.
I never ended up taking hormones or having any surgery. I'm really glad I didn't. I eventually realized that I am just a woman who is more masculine in some ways. I'm a tomboy. I don't have to change my body to be valid. I can have short hair, wear men's clothes, and be into "guy" hobbies, and that doesn't make me any less of a woman.
I do have some regrets about the whole process. I regret how much time I spent obsessing over my gender and my body. I regret being so influenced by online spaces that only showed one side of the story. I think if I had gotten therapy that wasn't just about affirming a trans identity—if it had helped me explore the root causes of my discomfort—I could have figured this out a lot sooner.
I don't believe that medical transition is the right choice for everyone who questions their gender. The health risks are real and serious, and I think people, especially young people, are often rushed into it without being told all the facts. I support adults making their own choices, but I think there needs to be a lot more honesty about the potential downsides and complications.
Now, I'm just trying to accept myself for who I am. I focus on my hobbies and my health. I've learned that my value isn't tied to how feminine or masculine I look.
Here is a timeline of my journey based on my experiences:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 13-14 | Started puberty, began feeling intense discomfort with my developing breasts and female body. Hated being looked at. |
| 16-17 | Spent significant time online in trans communities, became influenced by the idea of transition as a solution. Seriously considered identifying as a trans man. |
| 18 | Researched medical transition heavily, learned about serious health risks and surgical complications. Began to question my motivations and the influence of online spaces. |
| 19 | Realized my discomfort was not with being female, but with societal expectations and my own self-esteem. Stopped identifying as trans and embraced being a masculine woman. |
Top Comments by /u/BloodDrainedDeer:
You cannot be "bad at acting female."
You're a female. You don't have to act, it's just what you are. You don't have to alter yourself in any way.
You will need to focus on what is causing the dysphoria. In most cases, there is some sort of underlying reason which may seem completely irrelevant at first, but with a professional's help, they may be able to navigate your experiences and pinpoint what triggered this.
The therapist suggesting surgery and hormones which can shorten your life span or dramatically decrease your quality of life... wow. It's not conversion therapy, it's simply trying to help you love your body or at least reconnect with it. Find better therapist.
You're allowed to go the gym and be muscular. You're allowed to wear men's clothing. No one is phased by a tomboy or butch woman.
Don't be discouraged. Ask yourself what you may do each day that leaves you thinking about your body. If you are left for extended periods of time where you have nothing to do, focus on using hobbies, doing work, seeing friends, to istract yourself from thinking about your body.
Hating your feminine parts can be as simple as being insecure about people looking at you in a sexual way. Even some have said stopping their porn consumption stopped dysphoric feelings.
Sure, HRT/SRS make some feel better, but it likely isn't for everyone, since gender dysphoria is not usually something that you have from birth until death.
Don't live a lie because it may seem more convenient.
There are flat-chested women. There are Tomboyish women who are able to live a happy life.
Living as something/someone that you're not, will be a mental struggle.
It won't be easy to "come out" again, but the people who care about you will feel guilty if they continued to support something that you didn't want.
If this isn't for you, that's horrible, but you need to do what is best for your mind and body, even if it will be exhausting to try and revert back.
You exist, and they don't like that.
There are more detransitioners than we will ever know. Most people feel ashamed about going back, because of what they destroyed in order to transition in the first place.
Admitting you made a mistake is hard enough.
Admitting that you left your wife and kids to go get dicked down by a transbian, as well as not attending your father's funeral because he didn't accept you.
Only to realise years later, that you made a mistake and can't make it up to your wife who remarried, your kids who grew up without their father, or your father who you will never be able to apologise to, for telling him that you wished he was dead. All because he wouldn't use your preferred pronouns.
-That's another level of tough.
It's not something many have to will to publicize. Plenty of people who transition to begin with, keep it secret from media outlets or public forums.
Easiest way to convince someone to transition is by downplaying the consequences. Convince them that regretters don't exist and the ones that do, were not really trans. As well as telling them that they will feel happy and liberated, even if it means they lost their family. They didn't love you, and they don't deserve you.
You are real. What happened to you, was real. They don't get to downplay what you went through, just because it proves their beliefs to be imperfect and flawed.
There will be thousands, if not tens of thousands of people who will regret HRT or SRS or top surgery/breast augmentation. It's only a matter of time.
Identifying as a girl does not require shaving or makeup, don't be afraid to hold your ground and be firm. She doesn't control your body
What your brother did, was not right, but it is done now, and that means you don't have to worry about it anymore. He took away some of your control, but that's how it is sometimes. What matters if that you have control over your body, your choices and reactions to what you mom says
She shouldn't harass you and make these absurd expectations of you, but there may be nothing you can do, except hold your ground and be the woman you want to be, unapologetically masculine or lacking femininity, as much as you want. It doesn't make you any less valuable as a person
It seems like you're afraid of the expectations of being a girl, rather than being a girl so make sure to remember that. There are plenty of women who have gone through this, it may not be easy, but you just have to power through and be confident in yourself
The people pontificating that puberty blockers are harmless and have no permanent effects is ridiculous.
I imagine we will have our answers soon enough, assuming some do decide that HRT is not for them. However, I think the majority who stick with puberty blockers, will eventually think that transitioning is the only way forward, otherwise, what was the point of blocking the healthly puberty process?
People said HRT was harmless, and now we hear stories of atrophied sex organs, increased risk heart disease, brittle bones etc. Because if people knew how awful the side effects/complications were, they wouldn't be so quick to undergo HRT or SRS.
Yeah, if you don't have dysphoria every day, I don't know if HRT would help you.
If you only want to he an attractive trans guy, and not just a guy, then it may not be worth the risk to your health and mental state.
What is the source of dysphoria? You may just really be attracted to the idea of masculine features, instead of actually wanting to be a full-blown man.
HRT is not a cure-it-all process.
I'm not against transitioning, but it seems like you're not completely sold on it either, and risking your physical health may not be worth it in your case.
Trans websites are usually are hugboxes that glorify and encourage transitioning. They often want to gloss over the horrific side effects. If you are feeling dysphoria, it would be better to stay away from some thing you are susceptible to. This is an extreme example, but you would not seek out a depressing forum if you were feeling suicidal.
When dysphoria hits, engage in a hobby you love. Do something to take your mind off of it. Work out. Dance. Play chess. Just don't go to spaces that will fuel your fantasies of transitioning.
A lot of public trans people like to talk about how miserable they were before transitioning, and how transitioning made their life so much better. Then, when mental health week rolls around, they are suddenly telling us how depressed and anxious they are all the time. I'm not saying transitioning should cure all mental issues, but a lot of them act like it does until it suits them to be vulnerable and talk about how sad they are.
It's sad that the fear of being labelled a bigot or Transphobe trumps preserving someone's physical health, and their literal life span.
But that's what happens when you allow "activists" to bully medical professionals into being more, "accepting."
As soon as they sought to remove Gender Dysphoria from the medical books as a mental disorder, so it's basically the same as being gay I.e. Therapy won't "cure" it because there is no problem to cure, it's just who you are. Then they should get their own unique rights and protections which means you can't be critical of them because it becomes hate speech. You can't deny a trans person experimental/dangerous HRT or experimental/dangerous surgeries, because that's hateful to deny them the right to feel valid (Not a right but anyway). Trying to dissuade a trans person from transitioning is automatically hateful. It's not because you care, it's because you think it's disgusting! Unsupportive people are terfs and Transphobes, and their arguments are inherently invalid.
Just to clarify, I believe gender dysphoria is a real feeling, but I'm starting to doubt that HRT and SRS are good options to alleviate it. In some cases, I'm sure it is, but I think it is getting out of hand. I sure as shit wouldn't give hormone blockers to my kid, or HRT to my teenager.
That's great to hear that you have figured out what you want for yourself. Congratulations~
If you really hate your name, you could always consult your parents and ask them what other names they would have picked for you. Or you can just go by your middle name.
Though I am not gay or anything, I cannot help but feel bothered by all the so-called signs that you're trans stuff. It is 99% of the time, sexist and homophobic ideas, I see very little references to Gender Dysphoria, merely euphoria when X sexist/homophobic concept is met
You're a butch lesbian who prefers men's clothes, you must be a man, because only men want to wear men's clothes and bang chicks, right?
You're a scrawny man who likes to bottom? That makes you submissive, and women are submissive and men are dominant, you must really be a woman!
It is so damaging. I agree with you, completely
Some of the Egg stuff is straight up grooming. Asking minors what they feel about their genitals, their masturbation habits, their porn habits, telling them to watch certain genres of porn to help them discover that they're really a lesbian trapped in a male body etc.
It is indoctrination. I remember one man who said he loves imagining himself as a woman to jerk off, but he has NO interest in being a woman. Multiple times, he got replies, telling him he was trans and should transition and someone who isn't as strong-willed, especially those who are lonely, they are so vulnerable to these spaces, because they seem so inviting
You're young, you will get through this.
As others have said, see your endocrinologist, figure out how you're going to gradually come off HRT.
Testosterone will deepen your voice and likely cause some growth down there.
You're not a joke. You're a person, and you owe it to yourself to do what is right for you. Real friends will support you. You were young and impressionable, no one can blame you for thinking HRT was right for you.