This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on these comments, the account appears authentic.
There are no serious red flags suggesting it's a bot or an inauthentic user. The comments show:
- Personal, consistent narrative: The user shares a specific, emotionally resonant story about their own mastectomy, HRT experience, and the social context of their lesbian friend group. The details are consistent across posts made over two years.
- Complex, nuanced advice: The advice given is detailed, personal, and not simply repeating slogans. It shows an understanding of the physical (laser vs. electrolysis, surgery complications) and psychological (self-acceptance, intuition) aspects of the experience.
- Appropriate emotion: The tone is passionate, angry, and regretful, which is consistent with the stated understanding that detransitioners can be "pissed off about this topic because of the harm."
The account presents as a genuine detransitioned female who is sharing her lived experience.
About me
I started identifying as transgender around 19, swept up in a wave with my lesbian friends who were all starting testosterone. I stopped and restarted hormones several times because something always felt deeply wrong, like a quiet signal I was on the wrong path. I even had top surgery, but it left me with painful scars and didn't fix my discomfort. I finally stopped for good at 22 and began to see my journey was more about self-esteem than being born in the wrong body. Now in my mid-20s, I'm learning to accept my body as it is and live as a female.
My detransition story
My whole journey with gender started from a place of deep discomfort, but looking back, I don't think it was really about gender at all. I was a female who felt completely out of place, especially during puberty. I hated developing breasts and felt incredibly awkward in my own skin. I had very low self-esteem and a lot of anxiety. At the time, I was part of a tight-knit group of lesbian friends, and almost all of us ended up going down the same path. It was like a wave that swept through our group; one by one, my beautifully open and proud female friends started talking about dysphoria, getting on testosterone, and planning for top surgery. I was right there with them. In retrospect, it’s absolutely heartbreaking that we all decided we needed to change our bodies at the exact same time.
I started testosterone and it felt like the answer at first. But it was never a simple, happy journey for me. I stopped and restarted hormones three or four times because something always felt off. It was unthinkable to me that other people seemed to be doing just fine on HRT, while for me, it felt like I was transitioning myself into a dead end. Every day on testosterone was like a reminder that I wasn't actually the gender I was trying to be. The feeling was a constant, quiet signal that I was on the wrong path.
I went ahead and got top surgery, a double mastectomy. I told myself it was what I needed, that I always wanted to swim topless and just feel free. But the reality has been far from that fantasy. The surgery left me with painful scars and my pectoral muscles feel messed up. I still can’t swim topless, and I gave up swimming altogether, which I now see as a huge loss. The surgery didn’t fix the underlying discomfort; if anything, it made me more vigilant about how others saw me.
Coming to terms with all of this has been hard. To know I went through with a mastectomy and have no happy gender journey to show for it is still upsetting. Looking in the mirror, my own history stares back at me in my face and my chest. But it feels better now to be living as I am and accepting that, instead of continuing to push against my body. I’ve had to learn the most radical self-acceptance. My body is for me to experience the world in, not a cosmetic object for others to judge. A big part of why I, and many other females like me, transitioned was a lack of self-respect and an inability to see our bodies as just human.
I don’t really have regrets, because I can’t change what happened, but I see the whole experience as a difficult lesson. I benefited from finally listening to my intuition and getting off hormones for good. The pressure from my social circle and the ideas I found online definitely influenced me, and I now see that my discomfort was more about puberty and self-esteem than being born in the wrong body.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Around 18-19 | Started identifying as transgender, influenced by friends. Began testosterone. |
| 19-22 | Stopped and restarted testosterone 3-4 times due to feeling it was wrong. |
| 21 | Underwent top surgery (double mastectomy). |
| 22 | Permanently stopped testosterone and began detransition. |
| Now (mid-20s) | Living as a female, focusing on self-acceptance and coping with surgical outcomes. |
Top Comments by /u/BloodUpper:
You know what causes way more damage than binding? Surgery. “Reconstruction” for breasts that don’t need it (reconstruction is a misleading term, it’s an often medically unnecessary procedure that surgery patients or people who had large tumors removed may use as a last ditch effort to improve appearance ONLY, very rarely to repair the chest wall which is not your issue, and it is not a painless cosmetic improvement) because you want to LOOK better. Atrophy isn’t fixed with a breast surgery, and would likely cause the atrophy to get worse, even if you got results that made it “look better”. But what does help is to get comfortable wearing no bra or binder so that your body can start rebuilding those muscles the way it was made to do.
Just be patient with your body and remember that it’s not too late, you could be writing about how painful your scars are, a lot of us with mastectomies or breast reductions can attest to unbelievably painful changes that come from sewing two pieces of flesh together that your body didn’t have before.
Do the most radical self acceptance practice of your life and accept that this is where you are now, it’s your body for you to experience the world in, and not a cosmetic marvel for others to enjoy. Saggy boobs still have intact nerve endings and a chance to improve muscles and other binding damage. Being able to stop evaluating your body as attractive and instead as human is an incredibly brave act, and that lack of self respect is part of the reason many of us females transitioned.
It really is so hard to avoid it when your own history with it is staring back at you when you look at your face or chest in the mirror. I feel for you, it really is hard to cope with, about 75% of my lesbian friends are now on testosterone or have chosen to get top surgery
All other things aside I really hope you don’t give up swimming anymore. No amount of dysphoria was worth the self restriction and it was certainly not alleviated with hormones and surgery if anything made it much worse and made me much more vigilant about how others saw me.
I gave up swimming too/transitioned and got top surgery because I always wanted to swim topless. My pectoral muscles are now fucked from surgery and I still can’t actually swim topless. I hope you get back into swimming soon because it really will help you reconnect with your body and recover your mind.
It sounds like you already know that trying to get off hormones might help you, maybe see how that feels? I definitely understand your pain as someone who has had surgery and then detransitioned, but the only way out is through. Listen to your intuition, it’s not like you can’t go back on it if you decide to.
I stopped and restarted 3 or 4 times, it was absolutely unthinkable to me that so many other people were just going along fine, and I was transitioning myself into a dead end. It’s not the beautiful simple answer it’s claimed to be, and so many doctors think that it is. To know I went through with a mastectomy and have no happy gender journey to show for it is definitely still upsetting, but it feels better to know I am living as I am and accepting that instead of continuing to push.
That may not be your experience, and I deeply empathize either way, but it never hurts to see what it’s like without the HRT if you know it’s making things worse (do know that it is going to take a while to stabilize emotionally/hormonally if you do choose that and be patient with yourself btw. But for me, HRT was like showing me daily that I wasn’t actually the gender I was trying to be :/ idk)
You should 100% go for laser with white skin and dark hair. Electrolysis is recommended for very light hairs and also is a lot more painful, because it targets one follicle at a time while laser targets a bunch at once, according to a specialist I spoke to. I’m in the same boat and laser is the one thing that will take care of the kind of facial hair that grows from T. Best of luck!
I watched this take over my lesbian friends group firsthand and in retrospect it is absolutely heartbreaking that all these beautifully open and proud women all happened to experience dysphoria and need top surgery and HRT at the exact same time (I mean me too but wow)