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Reddit user /u/Bowawawa's Detransition Story

Transitioned: 18 -> Detransitioned: 20
female
took hormones
regrets transitioning
influenced online
influenced by friends
serious health complications
started as non-binary
This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
On Reddit, people often share their experiences across multiple comments or posts. To make this information more accessible, our AI gathers all of those scattered pieces into a single, easy-to-read summary and timeline. All system prompts are noted on the prompts page.

Sometimes AI can hallucinate or state things that are not true. But generally, the summarised stories are accurate reflections of the original comments by users.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious

Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic detransitioner/desister.

The user's narrative is highly personal, nuanced, and internally consistent over time. They describe a specific and complex motivation for transitioning (social pressure/avoiding misogyny) and detransitioning (rejecting gender ideology, health concerns), which aligns with known desister experiences. Their language is natural, emotional, and shows genuine engagement with the community's conflicts.

About me

I was born female and my whole journey started because people kept telling me my tomboy style meant I wasn't a real woman. I eventually started testosterone, thinking it was the answer, and I liked the social benefits of being seen as male. But I soon realized I was changing my body for other people, not for myself, and it began harming my health. I stopped because I never had a problem with being female; I had a problem with sexism. Now I've let go of the entire concept of gender and I'm just happily living my life.

My detransition story

My whole journey with transition and detransition was complicated and, looking back, not really about gender for me at all. I was born female and never had what people call dysphoria. I was always a tomboy and comfortable with that, but I kept getting told by people—first from my conservative school, and then later from liberal friends—that the way I was meant I wasn't a "real woman." It was like no matter where I went, someone had a problem with how I existed.

When I moved to a more liberal environment, people started telling me I was probably non-binary or trans, that I was an "egg" about to crack. That got into my head and I spent about two years constantly questioning myself, trying to figure out what gender I "felt" like. I started testosterone because I thought it might make me feel better, or at least make other people see me differently. For a little while, it felt good to pass as male—not because I felt more like myself, but because people left me alone more. I was taken more seriously, I felt safer in public, and I even liked the extra physical strength. But around six months in, I realized I was messing with my body and my health for something I didn't actually want. I was policing my own behavior, trying to act "male," and it was ruining my mental health.

I never had a problem with my body itself. I didn't hate my breasts or have issues with being female; I hated how society treated me as a woman. Transitioning felt like an individual solution to a societal problem—a way to opt out of misogyny. But it came with a cost. Being on testosterone started affecting my health; I became more sensitive to foods, developed rashes and hives, and just felt generally unwell. I realized that long-term, it wasn't sustainable for me.

What really helped me was stepping back from thinking about gender entirely. I started gardening and learning keyboard, and whenever my mind wandered to gender stuff, I'd forcefully redirect it to something concrete, like planning my garden. Over time, I stopped thinking about gender altogether, and I've been much happier since. I came to see the whole idea of "finding your gender" as meaningless—like trying to find your immortal soul. It just doesn't matter to me. My body is me, not something I need to change to signal who I am to others.

I don't regret trying transition because I was doing the best I could with the information and pressure I had at the time. But I'm glad I stopped when I did. I don't believe I was ever truly trans; I was just influenced by others and trying to escape the pressures of being a woman in a sexist society. Now, I'm just me, and that's enough.

Here is a timeline of my transition and detransition events:

Age Event
18 Started questioning my gender after being influenced by liberal peers who suggested I might be non-binary.
19 Began testosterone after social pressure and self-questioning.
19 Around 6 months on T, realized I was harming my health and didn't truly want to be male.
19 Stopped testosterone due to health issues and realization that transition wasn't right for me.
20 Fully detransitioned and focused on hobbies like gardening and music to redirect my focus away from gender.

Top Comments by /u/Bowawawa:

16 comments • Posting since August 25, 2020
Reddit user Bowawawa (rule-compliant detrans labeled against my will) discusses the targeting of r/detrans, criticizing trans activists for calling a post declaring the sub "for detrans people" hate speech and organizing to get it banned.
56 pointsOct 23, 2020
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Just checked that sub out. This is the in the post

The same mod has a post named "This subreddit isn't for trans people, it's for detrans people." - Archived - where the same former mod calls out the sub for (reluctantly) stepping down on hate and saying that "we shouldn't be letting trans people walk all over us and tell us what we can and can't say because they're 'concerned'" - EDIT1: as of now, this is still up. 416 points (95% upvoted), several award including a Platinum, 22 hours old.

Apparently saying that r/detrans should be for detrans people is hate speech now. I feel so hopeless. I found this sub a few days before the first time it was banned and it felt like a weight was lifted off my chest. And then those ghouls got it banned and immediately tried to organise a takeover through redditrequest. I hate them. I actually hate every single one of those fuckers trying to get us banned.

The only option we'll have left is actual_detrans with their trans (ie not detrans) mods who believe people only detransition due to external pressure and not because they found out transition was not right for them.

We aren't harming anyone. We aren't organising brigades (unlike them. Lol) or trying to censor other points of view (shoutout to the time I looked up detransitioning on all of reddit and the top posts were all trans people talking about how we need to shut up and we're going to kill ourselves because we're trans people in denial. And guess what? No matter how much that may hurt me, I won't organise a mob to try and get those subs deleted because disagreement is not abuse). Can't they just leave us alone.

Reddit user Bowawawa (rule-compliant detrans labeled against my will) explains how liberal peers, like her conservative childhood bullies, pressured her to identify as non-binary for being a tomboy, leading to years of self-questioning before finding clarity through radical feminism.
21 pointsSep 28, 2020
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That sounds horrifying. It's so brave of you to get out.

I wasn't really bullied into ID-ing as trans cause I never cared either way, but I did feel pressured. I was tomboyish and studied in a conservative high school where I was often told I'm not a real woman cause I wasn't feminine but I didn't care much because I knew I'd find someplace liberal where I don't be judged for my tastes. Except when I finally got there, they told me I was a caterpillar about to break out (their version of egg) and non binary. Which fucked with me. The people who I thought would accept me for who I am, also told me I'm not a real woman because I didn't perform womanhood correctly. It was them and the conservatives of my childhood working in tandem.

It resulted in around two years of constant self questioning and trying to pass and finding out what gender I felt like. Till contrapoints led me to RadFems and I realised it doesn't fucking matter. Who gives a fuck?! Finding my gender is as dumb as finding my immortal soul. It doesn't mean anything. (No offense to anyone who disagrees. This is just what worked for me)

So yeah, I'm trying to get my identity back now and this sub is a huge help. The mods are working their butts off to make sure we don't get banned again and I'm so grateful for them. <3

Reddit user Bowawawa (rule-compliant detrans labeled against my will) advises waiting until age 25 and offers questions to explore gender feelings.
17 pointsSep 22, 2020
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At least wait until you’re 25 and your brain has finished developing: that’s when my “dysphoria” started to dissipate

Seconded. Especially since you're FTM. It's easier to bring on the effects of testosterone than to reverse them. It also helps if you try and understand how you actually feel beyond just generic dysphoria. Do you want a male body or just a flat chest? Do you hate periods because they're uncomfortable or because they remind you that you are female? etc

Alternatively, try not to think about gender for a while. Instead of thinking of your body as something that you need to change so that it reflects your true self, think of it as your true self. I know this can be hard in a world as obsessed with physical characteristics as yours, but it definitely helps if you can do it. I'd recommend that you try and pick up some hobbies even if you're terrible at them just to get your mind off things.

Reddit user Bowawawa (rule-compliant detrans labeled against my will) explains the need for a safe space for detransitioners to express their feelings without being called transphobic.
16 pointsOct 23, 2020
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We’re not seeking out trans people and saying shit to hurt them. We are expressing our feelings in a SAFE SPACE FOR US.

EXACTLY! I'm detrans for a reason! It's because I had issues with the trans way of looking at gender and performance. I don't even bring that shit up here because I'm worried trans people will say that is transphobic and try and get us banned again. I don't have anywhere to actually talk about this.

Reddit user Bowawawa (rule-compliant detrans labeled against my will) explains how they were socially ostracized after being "canceled" in local MOGAI circles over Instagram stories listing their "crimes against queer people."
11 pointsAug 22, 2021
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That was a quick answer.

There aren't enough gay people in my city to cold shoulder me but (and I don't know how to put this delicately) there a bunch of MOGAI style people (and their very cool and totally progressive straight allies) who take inspiration from US sexuality and gender politics and who have a certain amount of clout in the circles of the city I tend to move in. I've clashed against them before and things got bad 14 months ago when all of them shared stories on Instagram listing my crimes against queer people. I thought it would be contained there but thrice so far, whenever I meet some new group I introduce myself and it is all okay but then one of them recognises me from the Instagram stories and they all pull away a bit. The things listed aren't even so bad - in two of the cases people have privately told me they don't think what I did was bad, but since no one else wants to be seen as bad by association they're avoiding me.

It isn't life ruining but, like I said, the low level cold shouldering and not knowing if this new group has a biased opinion of me based from a few Instagram stories is annoying.

Reddit user Bowawawa (rule-compliant detrans labeled against my will) explains they were well-known in Chennai for their orange mohawk and street cred from volunteering with the Thirunangai/Hijra community, but clarifies they did not have social clout.
10 pointsAug 22, 2021
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Lmao no. I was well known since I had an orange mowhawk (in Chennai, the most traditional of India's major cities) and had "street cred" since I was (am) poor-ish and used to volunteer with Thirunangais (people in the west call them Hijras) but I wasn't popular in the "having clout" manner. I mostly just hung around people who were like that.

Reddit user Bowawawa (rule-compliant detrans labeled against my will) explains blocking nearly 90 people who spread hate about r/detrans, finding 7 were recently active in detrans-related subs.
8 pointsDec 6, 2020
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I decided to block everyone who rubbished r/detrans a few weeks ago so I plugged us into the search engine and got going (the hate has been going back a few years apparently). I blocked around 90 people I think and 7 of them had comments in this sub or actual_detrans within the latest few comments. I didn't bother scrolling so maybe I'd have found more that way. It was kinda sad to see.

Reddit user Bowawawa (rule-compliant detrans labeled against my will) explains detransitioning due to testosterone harming their physical health and rejecting the trans community's view of gender as innate and a spectrum.
6 pointsDec 6, 2020
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I mean I personally wouldn't mind if someone spontaneously made me a man and told me to stay that way. The reason I detransitioned was cause T was messing up my physical health and I realised that the way trans people look at gender (as innate, as spectrum, as important etc) is dumb and was messing up my mental health

Reddit user Bowawawa (rule-compliant detrans labeled against my will) discusses the fear of their subreddit being banned and the frustration of detransitioners' narratives being co-opted by both trans activists and conservatives.
6 pointsOct 23, 2020
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I hope so. The way things are going, I have no doubt we'll reach critical mass and explode into the outside world soon. But I'm a bit worried about the narrative around us. Trans people seem hell bent on painting us as a transphobic/terfy bogeymen, or poor misguided self-hating trans people. On the other side we have conservatives like Abigail Shrier painting us as mutilated victims of the transgender menace (to any AHS brigaders reading, what I'm saying here is that she's painting trans people as a menace preying on young girls. I'm not implying that trans people are a menace). Our actual stories seem to be erased in favour of whatever best suits whoever wants to weaponise our lives.

I do follow a couple of cool detrans ladies on tumblr though. It's just that it's easier to come here for hell since I know people will respond to my posts. I don't care enough to build a following on tumblr so I'm left sending asks to the same few people or hoping someone sees my posts while looking through the detrans tag.

Reddit user Bowawawa (rule-compliant detrans labeled against my will) discusses increased sensitivity to food and environment, including rashes, hives, and sneezing, since stopping testosterone therapy.
6 pointsOct 4, 2020
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I didn't develop lactose intolerance per se, but I am a lot more sensitive to everything since I came off T. I almost always have a rash or hives somewhere, most things make me sneeze and my eyes water, and I can tolerate a smaller range of foods. Although it's only been a few months since I finally quit so I can't say how it'll work out in the long run