This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user's narrative is highly specific, emotionally nuanced, and shows a clear, evolving internal logic over a six-month period. The details about therapy, personal motivations (internalized misogyny), and practical experiences (using minoxidil, bathroom anxiety) are consistent with a genuine desister's introspective journey. The passion and doubt expressed are appropriate for the context of the subreddit.
About me
I thought becoming a man would fix my low self-esteem, because I wrongly linked all my personal struggles to being a woman. I started testosterone and even used minoxidil to grow facial hair, planning for top surgery despite liking my body in some ways. Therapy for a breakup made me realize I had internalized misogyny and that I could be strong without changing my body. I stopped hormones before any surgeries and I don't regret my journey because it helped me find the real root of my feelings. Now, I live as a non-binary person without medical intervention, and I'm just focusing on building my future.
My detransition story
My whole journey with this started because I thought being a man would solve my problems. I was never really unhappy being a woman, but I saw men as strong and confident, and I associated all my own insecurities and low self-esteem with being female. I thought that if I could just become a man, I would finally feel good about myself.
I identified as non-binary at first, but that quickly shifted to wanting to fully transition. I was on testosterone for a while. I used minoxidil on my face to try and grow more facial hair, and it did work a bit. I got some hair growth from a 5% solution I applied twice a day. During that time, I was planning to get top surgery. I didn't hate my breasts; in fact, I even liked them in sexual situations. But in my day-to-day life, I thought I would prefer a flat, male chest. I was really torn about it, especially because I started to think about maybe having kids someday and wanting to breastfeed. I had a lot of doubts, wondering if I was making the right choice.
What really changed everything for me was going to therapy. I started therapy for a bad breakup, not for gender issues. But working on my general self-esteem and other mental health problems made me realize something huge. I had internalized misogyny. I had linked all my personal struggles to being a woman, instead of seeing them as separate issues. I realized I could be a strong person without changing my body or how society saw me. I could just be me.
I don't regret transitioning. I think it was a necessary part of my journey to figure myself out. It took me four years of questioning to even start, and then going through with it helped me finally see the real root of my feelings. I'm glad I stopped before I had any permanent surgeries. Now, I still identify as non-binary because I don't fully feel like one gender or the other, but I don't feel the need to medically transition anymore. My voice is deeper from the testosterone, so sometimes when I haven't shaved, I get anxious about using the women's bathroom because I worry people will think I'm a trans woman and cause trouble. But for the most part, people don't seem to care. I'm just focusing on my future now.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Early 20s | Began identifying as non-binary. |
| 24 | Started taking testosterone. |
| 24 | Used minoxidil on face for facial hair growth. |
| 27 | Started therapy for a breakup, which led to realizing my transition was linked to internalized misogyny and low self-esteem. |
| 27 | Sto taking testosterone and began identifying as non-binary without medical transition. |
Top Comments by /u/BradAtFrogLake:
I made a post recently about how going to therapy and deeling with my self esteem issues has actually helped me realize that I may have transitioned because I had internalized misogyny and associated those issues with being "female" while seeing men as strong and therefore being a man would make me feel better about myself because it would make me feel strong.
I never thought about it until I went to therapy and started making progress on those issues and thought that I could just be strong and that gender had nothing to do with it. I'm still nonbinary as I truly don't feel like one gender or the other but I don't need to transition or for society to read me as male in order to be strong. I can just be me.
I think you definitely pass as female. Even when I don't shave people read me as female because of my voice it's kinda crazy ahah. I will admit I'm a bit anxious about going in the women's bathroom when I don't shave because I don't want people to think I'm a trans woman and get assaulted or called a creep but I do think people just generally don't give a shit in the bathroom. They just do their business and get out so I'm sure you'll be fine in the women's bathroom. Also you look amazing!
This is a big reason for my doubt obviously. I don't feel chest dysphoria but I also feel I would prefer a male flat chest. But I'm scared that I could regret it since I don't dislike my boobs. I even enjoy implementing them in sexual situations. I just feel in day to day life it would be better without them.
I mean even before I was trans I didn't see their use since I didn't want biological kids but now that has changed and I know breastfeeding is much better than formula (even though formula itself isnt bad either). So I'm thinking maybe I should keep them until that happens but I also don't know if I want to wait that long. Well with these doubts maybe I can ahah we'll see.
It can definitely work. I used it for 3 months on my face for facial hair growth last year when I was still transitionning and got pretty good hairgrowth (nothing insane I didn't have a full beard but better than I expected). It definitely depends on the person though. I've heard from people who used it for longer with no results. And maybe it affects the head differently than the face. In any case what worked for me was 5% solution (not the foam) applied twice daily and rinsed off after 2 hours each time.
I do think going to therapy beforehand might have helped but I do agree that, at the time, since I was convinced I was trans, I would've just said that I feel like a man and they would've agreed of course. Still could've helped with my other issues though but eh it's all in the past. I'm focusing on the future.
Yeah exactly. I never realized those issues might be the reason for my transition and although it did take 4 years of questioning to transition, I never went to therapy because I simply didn't feel the need. I wasnt in a bad mental state. I just thought I was making the correct decision for me at the time and honestly I don't regret it. I'm glad I stopped before it was too late but I still think it was part of my journey and that making that choice was necessary to figure myself out.
I only went to therapy because of an unrelated bad breakup and was having a tough time dealing with it and working on my non-gender related issues kinda flipped a switch in my head on the reason why I transitionned.
I wouldn't say I am "crying out". I'm just a logical person who likes to hear all sorts of different opinions and this subreddit is really good for that. I don't have inherent biases towards people with different opinions than mine. It is actually helpful to hear different perspectives.
I do ask myself since these doubts "why did I do this?". As in why did I change if I wasn't unhappy? Well I'm still not unhappy and in some ways I am happier but I'm unsure if that is transition related or simply because I'm in a better place in life than I was pre transition (moved out, started spending more time with friends, got a nice car, etc.) Is this really me? These are questions I hope I will be able to answer someday and of course it would be unwise to have surgery while I still have them I do agree on that. We will see what time brings.