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Reddit user /u/Bradesbunker's Detransition Story

Transitioned: 19 -> Detransitioned: 24
female
hated breasts
took hormones
regrets transitioning
depression
influenced online
got top surgery
now infertile
body dysmorphia
retransition
puberty discomfort
started as non-binary
autistic
This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
On Reddit, people often share their experiences across multiple comments or posts. To make this information more accessible, our AI gathers all of those scattered pieces into a single, easy-to-read summary and timeline. All system prompts are noted on the prompts page.

Sometimes AI can hallucinate or state things that are not true. But generally, the summarised stories are accurate reflections of the original comments by users.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious

Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic.

The user demonstrates:

  • Deeply personal, nuanced, and emotionally charged views consistent with a detransitioner's experience.
  • Internal consistency in their arguments across multiple comments over time.
  • A complex perspective that includes personal blame directed at medical systems rather than individuals, which is a common and genuine viewpoint within the community.
  • The use of personal anecdotes and first-hand advice (e.g., specific surgical details, binding warnings) that suggest lived experience.

The passion and criticism present are not red flags but are expected from someone who has experienced harm.

About me

I'm a female who started detransitioning after several years of living as a man. My journey began because I hated my body during puberty and never felt I fit into feminine social roles, which I now see was linked to being autistic. I took testosterone and had surgery, but a constant, underlying stress never went away because I could never actually change my biological reality. I now believe I had severe body dysmorphia and that the medical system failed me by offering permanent changes instead of real therapy. I'm left with some permanent losses, but I'm finally seeking help to make peace with my body.

My detransition story

My whole journey with this started because I hated my body, especially going through puberty. I'm female, and when I developed breasts, I felt a deep sense of wrongness and discomfort. I now suspect I might be autistic, and looking back, I think that played a huge part. I never fit in with the expectations of being a girl; femininity felt like a restrictive costume I couldn't wear. I believe my autistic brain struggled with that social construct, and that discomfort got tangled up with a hatred for my own body.

I found a lot of this thinking online and in the communities I was in. I became convinced that my hatred for my female body meant I was supposed to be male. I started identifying as trans and then as a non-binary person for a while, but it eventually solidified into me believing I was a man. I got on testosterone and later had top surgery to remove my breasts.

For a time, it felt like a solution. But a constant, low-grade stress always lingered underneath. I now see that as cognitive dissonance. It's the exhausting mental work of trying to balance the objective reality of your biological sex with your exterior life as the opposite sex. Even if you pass flawlessly, living with that awareness every moment is incredibly stressful.

I started to realize that hating your entire body isn't normal. I was dealing with severe body dysmorphia, and I came to understand that changing my body wasn't the real solution. The core issue was learning to come to terms with myself. I decided to stop taking hormones and began the process of detransitioning.

I don't really blame the individual therapists or doctors who approved my transition. I genuinely had dysphoria, so I don't think they should have stopped me for not being "trans enough." My anger is at the wider medical industry that has normalized this path. I blame a system that looks at sex dysphoria and says the correct treatment is to give out hormones that can cause serious health problems and perform surgeries that create crude replicas of genitalia, often leaving people with permanent sexual dysfunction. I now believe the way we treat dysphoria is cruel. We deserve real therapy and help to reconcile with our bodies, not to be told our healthy bodies are sick and need to be changed.

I don't think there's any such thing as a "male brain" or a "female brain." There are patterns more common in one sex, but they aren't exclusive. A female having some so-called male neurological traits doesn't make her a man; it just means those traits aren't actually exclusive to men. Your sex is in every cell of your body; it's a biological reality that can't be changed. Even if I had passed perfectly, I would never have actually been male, and that truth would have always been there, eating away at me.

I have regrets about the permanent changes to my body, especially the surgery. I'm now infertile, and that is a profound loss. But I don't regret the journey because it led me to a place of harder truth. I'm trying to find a therapist who isn't invested in pushing transition, someone who will help me finally come to terms with my body instead of trying to change it.

Age Event
13 Started puberty; began to feel intense discomfort and hated developing breasts.
19 Began identifying as non-binary, then as a transgender man. Influenced by online communities.
20 Started taking testosterone.
22 Had top surgery (double mastectomy).
24 Stopped taking testosterone and began detransitioning. Realized I was dealing with body dysmorphia and autism-related social discomfort, not a true male identity.

Top Comments by /u/Bradesbunker:

7 comments • Posting since October 31, 2022
Reddit user Bradesbunker (detrans female) discusses the concerning overlap between autism in AFAB individuals and transgender identification, questioning why it isn't seen as a problem by professionals.
16 pointsOct 31, 2022
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I might be autistic, but I’ve definitely noticed that autism is common both among detrans people (especially detrans women) and trans-IDed people (especially ftms).

There is an observed overlap between “afabs” having autism and identifying as trans / male / non-binary. People seem to just accept this without question, I suppose under the idea that autism is just a “masculine” disorder. I was very disappointed when a therapist told me that autism is common among ftms, more so than the general population, and when I asked her if that seemed concerning, if it seemed concerning that females with a neurological disorder that effects their sociability were more likely to renounce themselves as female, she didn’t seem to agree with me.

It makes perfect sense that women and girls with autism are less likely to be feminine, the entire construct of femininity is completely made up and is restrictive and inconvenient, so of course someone who’s neurological state causes them to struggle with social constructs isn’t as likely to cling on to femininity. The fact that this also seems to lead these women believing that they are or should be the opposite sex is concerning. It should be cause for concern, but instead people, even professionals, seem to just shrug it off.

Reddit user Bradesbunker (detrans female) explains why brain chemistry patterns don't define sex, drawing parallels to physical traits and questioning the link between prenatal hormone exposure and being trans vs. homosexual.
14 pointsNov 8, 2022
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There may be patterns of brain chemistry that are more common in males or in females, but I wouldn't say that means that there's such a thing as a male or female brain. There’s a lot of biological characteristics that are more common in males or females, but not exclusive to them. A male is more likely to be six feet tall than a female is, but that doesn’t mean that a six foot tall female is actually a man or supposed to be a man.

A male having a “female typical” brain pattern doesn’t indicate that he’s actually a woman or should be a woman, it indicates that such a brain pattern isn’t actually exclusive to women.

I read an article for my psychology class last year about why homosexuality and transsexualism occur in humans. Something I noticed was that the explanations for homosexuals and transsexuals was the same, both were explained by an overexposure of testosterone in utero for females, and an underexposure for males, causing the brain to develop a certain way. The article just didn’t explain what differentiates a homosexual from a transsexual. And most of the trans brain scan studies are done only on hsts. Which indicates that the difference may not be about “gender” or some sort of neurological sex - it may be about attraction instead.

And in the end, I don’t think it even really matters. Even it was proven indisputably that there’s such a thing as a male and female brain, a male having a female brain or vice-versa would not change their sex.

Reddit user Bradesbunker (detrans female) explains the cognitive dissonance and stress of living as the opposite sex while being constantly aware of one's biological reality.
13 pointsNov 2, 2022
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I had a similar experience. I think of it as cognitive dissonance, the need to constantly balance the objective reality of your biological sex with your exterior life as the opposite sex. Living as the opposite sex while being aware at every moment that you're actually your birth sex is incredibly stressful to deal with even if you pass flawlessly.

Reddit user Bradesbunker (detrans female) explains why she blames the medical industry, not individual doctors, for normalizing transition as the only treatment for dysphoria, which she calls cruel and unethical.
11 pointsNov 12, 2022
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I don’t blame any individual. Not the therapists or doctors who gave me the okay. I’m one of those people who really does have dysphoria, so I don’t feel that anyone should have stopped me on account of me not being “true trans” or whatever. I blame the medical industry that has normalized sex dysphoria and transition. I blame the fact that somehow so many doctors agreed that the correct way to treat dysphoria is to give hormones that can cause serious health problems and surgeries that make a crude replica of genitalia and leave a person with permanent sexual dysfunction. I think the way we treat dysphoria is cruel and unethical to those who deal with it, we deserve therapy and help, not to be told that our healthy bodies are sick and need changing.

Reddit user Bradesbunker (detrans female) explains how to pass as male again, advising that natural testosterone will help with masculinization over time, and recommends adopting masculine styles, short hair, and consulting FTM passing guides.
8 pointsNov 7, 2022
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If you still naturally produce testosterone, that will help you. Being off hormones and blockers, your body will make test like it's supposed to and that will masculinize you. But it will take time.

When your face / body isn't particularly mannish, a lot of it does come down to style unfortunately and being feminine will make it more difficult to be seen as male, it's up to you whether your presentation or passing as your sex is more important. If passing is more important, then wearing masculine clothes and having short hair will help. You might even want to look at ftm passing guides since a lot of them may have similar concerns to you. You could also just try looking at male style guides specific to men with your physical traits, trust me there are a lot of style guides online for anything you could even think of.

This may or may not be helpful but remember that you are a man regardless of how you look. It's coded into every cell in your body.

Reddit user Bradesbunker (detrans female) explains why she stopped transitioning, advising therapy to accept one's body rather than change it, and argues that true sex cannot be altered.
5 pointsNov 7, 2022
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Hating your entire body isn't normal, that's one of the things I realized when I decided to stop being trans. I can't tell you how to stop having body dysmorphia because I still struggle with it a lot. But I don't think changing your body is the solution.

The only thing I can really recommend is therapy. Find a therapist who is not invested in pushing transition and be clear that you want to come to terms with your body, not change it.

I think part of the process is just recognizing reality; you cannot change your sex. Even if you did pass perfectly as the opposite sex, you still aren't really the opposite sex. I think for a lot of people, that constant dissonance will eat away at you until you can't take it anymore.

Reddit user Bradesbunker (detrans female) explains options for chest masculinization, warning about long-term binding risks and detailing less invasive gynecomastia surgery as an alternative.
4 pointsNov 7, 2022
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Also for your chest, you can wear compression tops / binders if you want, but I will warn you that binding is not especially healthy longterm. Surgery for gynecomastia is also very much possible, so you can look into that as well. From what I know, gynecomastia surgery is less intensive than mastectomies that women and ftms get. I've even seen videos of people getting it while they're awake. But depending on how large your chest is, the process may be more similar to a mastectomy.