This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags indicating it is a bot or an inauthentic user.
The comments show:
- Personal, nuanced experience: The user shares specific, first-person details about their own relationships, medical history (e.g., breast removal surgery), and internal conflicts, which are difficult to fabricate consistently.
- Consistent, developed viewpoint: The user expresses a coherent, critical perspective on transition, online culture, and gender politics that evolves through debate with others, demonstrating real engagement.
- Human inconsistency and passion: The tone varies from empathetic advice to sharp criticism, which aligns with a passionate individual discussing a deeply personal and contentious topic. The language is natural and not formulaic.
The account displays the hallmarks of a genuine, opinionated person within the detransition community.
About me
I was born male but never felt I fit in, and my lack of confidence led me to seek answers online. I was heavily influenced by trans stories and thought becoming a woman would solve my problems with self-esteem and sexuality. I took hormones and had surgery to remove my breasts, believing it was the solution. I eventually realized I was chasing a fantasy that led to deep depression, and I regret not listening to the therapists who warned me. I've stopped hormones and now see myself simply as a person, moving forward with the permanent consequences of my decisions.
My detransition story
My journey with gender started with a deep discomfort that I didn't understand. I was born male, but I never felt like I fit in with other boys. I was gullible, lacked confidence, and felt like a wimp. I spent a lot of time online, and I was heavily influenced by the stories I read. I saw all these "trans happiness" stories and I believed them, thinking that was the answer to my problems. I now see that a lot of that was irrational thinking and dissociation, a toxic mix that led me down a path I wasn't prepared for.
A huge part of this was my struggle with my sexuality. I'm bisexual, but I had a lot of internalized homophobia. I rejected the idea of being a gay man and was attracted to a heterosexual ideal that felt impossible for me to achieve. I thought if I became a woman, I could fit into that normal relationship. I also had a problem with porn, which warped my view of relationships and sexuality, feeding into these fantasies.
I ended up taking hormones and had top surgery to remove my breasts. I hated having breasts; they felt completely wrong on my body. For a while, I thought this was the solution. I was in a long-term relationship with a man, which was emotionally supportive, almost like we were best friends, but the sexual and romantic connection faded. I could never understand the narcissism I saw in some trans communities, where people would lie to their partners or expect them to just accept a complete change. I was always terrible at lying.
Over time, I realized I had been chasing a fantasy. I thought I wanted to pass as a woman and be treated as one, but I came to see that for the vast majority of people, that's a fool's errand. It only leads to deep depression. I met several therapists who warned me about social contagion and the realities of transition, but I ignored them. I have to take responsibility for that.
I don't really believe in labels for myself anymore. I don't diagnose myself with narcissism or anything else. I think that just holds you back. You can understand yourself without putting a label on it. My views on gender now are that it's not really about power or weakness; those are vague ideas that apply to individuals, not entire groups of men or women. I think there will always be differences between males and females, and that's okay.
I do have regrets. I regret not listening to the therapists who tried to warn me. I regret the permanent changes I made to my body based on a fantasy I built from online influences. I benefited from non-affirming therapy only after the fact, when I was finally ready to listen. It helped me see that my issues were more about my low self-esteem, anxiety, and sexuality than they were about actually being a woman.
I don't think of myself as a woman today. I'm just a person, trying to move forward with the consequences of my decisions.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 18 | Started feeling deep discomfort with my male body and social role. |
| 20 | Heavily influenced by online trans communities and stories. Began to believe transition was the answer. |
| 21 | Started taking hormones. |
| 23 | Had top surgery to remove breasts. |
| 25 | Realized I was chasing a fantasy and began to detransition. |
| 26 | Stopped taking hormones and began to accept my male body again. |
Top Comments by /u/BrushFrequent6478:
Society no longer polices behavior. So lots of people are doing lots of freaky shit that they never would have in 1985 for example.
The guard rails are off.
I can now go find a clip of a pregnant woman getting gang banged for money on camera.
Would not have been able to find that in 1985. Guard rails are off.
I am more taking a jab at society in general. I think transgender people should have dignity but it’s obviously transgressive behavior. Society doesn’t police it the same way, maybe that’s a good thing? But some would argue differently. With my jab at porn, its more obvious that porn is objectively bad and dehumanizing.
I think it’s a red flag that you see online mtfs and get jealous. They never look as good irl.
As long as you can accept never passing, then I would say maybe you can find some contentment as a trans. But if you are chasing the fantasy of passing and being treated as a woman… I think its a fools errand and will only lead to deep depression and regret
Porn addiction. Dissociation. Irrational thinking. Believing BS “trans happiness” stories on the internet. Vast majority of those are lies.
That is a toxic mix my friend. And many people have probably transitioned out of that mix. No that does not mean you are a woman or would enjoy living as a transsexual.
It’s literally the most common coping mechanism for miserable trans to go post online about how well they are doing while their lives fall apart.
I think this is more heavily wrapped up in your sexuality than you are admitting.
I just want to point out that you are using very vague words. Weak. Powerlessness. Independent. Free. These words really have very little to do with gender. They are interchangeable between many many men and women. I think you should be more specific if you are trying to reach an understanding of your self and motivations
Blaming “capitalism” on everything is lazy. May as well look into this deep concept called “human nature”.
Also people transition for different reasons. It’s not entirely always about conforming or not conforming to gender roles. There will always be heterogeneity between males and females, so therefore there will always be gender roles. Someone may desire something a male can experience, that a female cannot experience. It is what we mentally do with these kind of thoughts that matters.
Although you make a few reasonable statements, some things you say are completely ridiculous.
“When have “trans women” (men) ever done anything for women as a whole” This is such a crazy view, it’s like saying when have this group of millions of humans done anything for this group of millions of humans. You realize there are billions of women, with millions of different problems, yes? And there are billions of men, and thousands and thousands of trans women dealing with their problems, ie. moving through life as individuals? How would a group of millions of people even organize to help another group of millions of people? It’s a ridiculous statement. It’s like saying “when have men ever done anything for women”. It’s completely meaningless. You cannot generalize like this. I understand that you enjoy the feeling of righteousness that overcomes you when you feel as though you are “oppressed” and have something to fight for, but in my opinion, thinking of yourself as a soldier in a gender war against men is 1. Silly 2. Unproductive 3. Wasteful of your time on this planet.
Separate point. There is no group of evil people counting money they are making from trans surgeries. Doctors are only meeting a demand.
I ran into multiple therapists that warned me about transitioning and social contagion. And I ignored them. It is important to acknowledge that we as individuals have the ultimate responsibility. And parents have the ultimate responsibility over their children. Not therapists. Not doctors.
I don’t understand why it would need to be said that doctors are not infallible. That should be obvious to people. If it’s not then you have a messed up view of how systems of responsibility should work.
I think it’s a good thing that doctors have tools to influence things that lower the quality of life for people. Just because you did not need that tool doesn’t mean it should be banned or not offered
That’s bullshit. Religion offers a valuable sense of community and can be a great way to make friends and companions through life.
HUMANS like cults and cult shit. And humans exist in all groups, including non-religious ones.
If you want to criticize religious groups you need to be more specific about why being part of a church organization would lower someone’s quality of life.
I don’t think you have a lot of dating experience if you think there aren’t a ton of gay guys into the femme/femboy andro look.
If you only stick to online messaging you will never really get it. Talking to someone online with avatars and a few posed photos is not real dating. And will not lead to real sexual chemistry.
That being said, there is a general bias against feminine males, its true.
That happened the me too. But you have to remember that 95% of these questions come from people that aren’t interested in not transitioning. They have already created fantasies and mostly just want other trans to tell them to transition. Very few of these types of people are genuinely open to the idea of not transitioning. They are already sucked down the rabbit hole
MtFs only beat Stacy on dating apps and such. IRL things are different. Straight MtFs also overemphasize things to hide deficiencies, often times to increase lust from men. But in the end… 99.9% are not going to be more attractive than an attractive woman, only in pics and online will they compete.
You say “not chasers” but any man who wants to sleep with a chick with a dick, is doing it for novelty and chaser feelings, not cause of her stunning appearance. SRS hot girls get rejected 100% by straight men unless they pretend they were never trans. Even if you pass, men will be turned off by the fact that you used to be male.
I had similar feelings to you in terms of rejecting being gay and wanting to fit a heterosexual ideal that feels impossible if you are “just” a gay guy.
Not to offer advice, but for myself, I do not diagnose myself. I don’t agree with putting labels like narcs or introverts or extroverts or all the other BS. Just holds you back. You can understand yourself without labeling yourself