This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic detransitioner/desister.
The user's comments display a consistent, nuanced, and emotionally raw narrative of their personal struggle with transition, detransition, body image, and passing. The depth of personal reflection, historical knowledge, and the internal conflict described are not typical of bot behavior and align with the passionate and often painful experiences shared by real people in these communities.
About me
I was born male and always felt a deep discomfort with my body that got much worse during puberty. I transitioned hoping to fix this physical unease, but I struggled immensely because I never felt I passed as female, which made daily life difficult. I've since socially detransitioned and live as a man, but my body is now a permanent mix of male and female traits from the hormones. I'm left in a confusing, in-between place that doesn't fit neatly into any category. While I don't regret exploring my feelings, I deeply regret being so sure that changing my body was the answer.
My detransition story
My whole journey with transition started because I just never felt right in my own skin. I was born male, but from a young age, I felt a deep discomfort with my body that got much worse during puberty. I hated the changes. I spent a lot of time online and I think I was influenced by what I saw there, seeing other people transition and talk about becoming their "authentic self." It felt like an escape from the person I was, who had a lot of depression and really low self-esteem.
I started my transition later, after I had already gone through male puberty. I began taking estrogen and got some breast growth. I planned to get vaginoplasty because I wanted to change my sex traits, to make my body match what I felt inside. But I was never really into all the social gender stuff. I’m a masculine person; my friends saw me as a tomboy. For me, it was about the physical changes, not the pronouns or the clothes. I hated the idea of it all being "pretend stuff." I just wanted my body to be different.
A huge struggle for me was never being able to pass as female. I read like a trans woman to people, and that was incredibly hard. I’d get side-eyed in bathrooms, and my deeper voice and body hair were constant reminders that I didn’t look the way I felt. I saw other trans people who passed perfectly, who got to live a stealth life, and I was so jealous. It made me hopeless and depressed. I started to believe that passing is what makes or breaks your happiness in this. If I could have passed, I think my dysphoria would have gone away. I had a few rare moments where I accidentally passed, and it felt amazing, like a glimpse of a life I couldn’t have.
This inability to pass is what ultimately made me start to pull away from mainstream trans groups. I grew to hate all the toxic positivity, the constant talk of "living your truth" whether you pass or not. For me, not passing made my day-to-day life really difficult, and those groups didn't seem to acknowledge that reality.
I’ve socially detransitioned now. In my everyday life, I live as a man. But I’ve continued with some parts of my medical transition because my body is somewhere in between. My breasts grew from the estrogen, and while I didn’t understand how anyone could not want them at first, now I’m just stuck with a body that doesn't fit any category neatly. I consider myself biologically nonbinary. If I tried to date and said I was a man, someone would meet me and see my female traits and not receive me as male. It’s confusing. I get super stressed trying to live as female because I fail at passing, but then I get depressed trying to live as male. I don’t really know what to do. Everyone close to me knows I'm some mix of detrans, trans, and gender non-conforming, and I just use nonbinary to describe all of that.
I don’t know if I believe in male or female brains. I think we have minds that sometimes expect to live in the opposite sex, and that makes it hard to feel normal in the body we have. But we can’t test for that. My thoughts on gender are that the social stuff feels mostly like performance to me. My own journey was never about that; it was a deep, physical discomfort.
Do I have regrets? I regret that I started so late and that I’ll never pass. I regret that my body is now a permanent mix of male and female traits, which makes life and how people see me very complicated. I don’t regret exploring these feelings, but I regret that I was so sure changing my body was the answer, when now I’m left in a difficult, in-between place.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| (Puberty) | Experienced intense discomfort with male puberty. |
| (Young Adult) | Influenced by online communities, began identifying as trans. |
| 25 | Started taking estrogen. |
| 26 | Experienced breast growth from hormones. |
| 27 | Socially detransitioned (began living as male again socially). |
| 27 | Continued medical transition, planning for vaginoplasty. Body is a mix of male and female traits; identifies as biologically nonbinary. |
Top Comments by /u/BunnyThrash:
Both, this is why some detrans women get read a trans women. A lot of us are dealing with the same problems when it comes to our bodies: deeper voices, extra body hair, bejng side-eyed when we use the bathroom, and ultimately having no clue how to fix ourselves
In the 1970’s the idea of sexed brains was unpopular because it supported the idea that sexed behavior and sex roles were natural and that women and men were naturally supposed to behave differently and it supported sexist social rules. It’s important to distinguish brain differences based on sex which exist, but not that much and don’t seem to be that important. But in 2001, the book got published “as nature made him: the boy who was raised as a girl.” About a person born male whose penis was amputated accidentally at circumcision and so he was given a sex change and raised as a girl. This was in like the 70’s. And the scientist John Money was heavily involved in managing this persons childhood. Dr. Money cited this as a case study proving that sex identification is learned (like in the Freudian ordipus complex stuff where a boy identifies with his father and realizes that he’s not female, and a girl identifies with her mother and realizes she is not male). Dr. Money hypothesized that this wasn’t “learned” until like age 2 or sonething. And so he claimed that mental sex was malleable up to that age. But then in 2001, Jared Diamond published that book “as nature made him: the boy who was raised as a girl”. Dr. Diamond found out that Dr. Money lied about tge success. And that the boy who was sex changed into a girl actually got a sex change in his early 20’s and got married and then unaluved himself a few years later. This discovery made a strong case not for that brains have some sex differences but that feeling male or female might be coded into the brain. It made saying that trans people have a brain sex catch on and lent some scientific support to the idea. No one has been able to like find exactly where or what this sexed is, but it did lead to new research on intersex people. Specifically before 2001, the most common thing was to do early surgical interventions on intersex people “before they had formed a sex identification”, but after the book, there became more and more data that intersex people were commonly transsexual and it like maybe their mental sex was something they were born with. They started to delay surgeries and treatments until intersex children were old enough to participate in decision making. This seemed to work out better, but non-consensual early interventions were still popular. So then some scientists started tracking what mental sex most members of a specific intersex condition usually had, and this info was then used to guide early interventions. Of course there’s feminine men and masculine women, but that the sex we feel like might be neurological is the real question. It has some support but we can’t identify it by a test or brain scan, so it isn’t useful yet to identify trans vs detrans people. But for intersex conditions there’s some predicatability available.
I hate all the toxic positicivity in trans groups that like say “you can live out your authentic self” whether you pass or don’t pass. Whether someone is passing as their original sex or as the oppositte sex, I still think passing can seriously impact how easy your day to day life is. I’ve struggled a lot with being unable to pass and that’s what ultimately started to make me dislike mainstream trans groups
There’s a few communities for males who want feminizing transgender procedures, like there’s a group for men who want or have gotten vaginoplasty. I myself am masculine, but since I’m a trans woman they don’t consider me a man. They are real men who want a vaginoplasty. They call me a trans female and say that I’m not male. I have been on estrogen and have some breast growth and I’m planning to get vaginoplasty. So I’m changing my body which is my biology into something new. But I am not into the gender thing, I am masc and my friends consider me a tomboy. For me I think it’s internalized stuff where I’m afraid of being called “not real”, so I only want to change my sex traits. I know if I could be certain that I’d pass, then I’d probably do that, but for now I just need to know that my sex trait modifications are made out my body, and aren’t makeup and clothing and pronouns and all that pretend stuff
I am socially male in my every day life so I socially detransitioned, but I have continued with the other parts of transition. After my breasts grew, I didn’t understand how someone could not want to have breasts; but I said to myself “there’s trans and detrans and cis men”, so I guess I’m just not-quite male but not sure if I’m female. I consider myself biologically nonbinary because if I went on a dating app and said I was a male and they met me and I was part female, then they wouldn’t recieve me as male being the way my body is.
I also hate gender-affirmation because it just reminds me that I look like a trans woman and that I don’t pass. I never really passed, but sometimes I wonder if passing would make me feel better. I get super stressed out when I try to live more female like but then I fail at passing. But then I get depressed trying to live as male. I’m not sure what to do. Everyone who knows me really well knows that I’m some sort of detrans/trans/gnc person and I just use nonbinary to capture all of this
I find myself in awe and shock whenever I discover that someone I knew was trans and was passing well enough that, me another trans person didn’t have trans radar, both males and females. I started transitioning when I was older, so I doubt that I will ever pass; but my jealousy of people who got to the other side and are living a stealth life and seem to be happy, I am just so jealous and hopeless and get depressed. Passing seems to make or break our happiness. It seems like a lot of us suffer because we started our first attempt to transition after puberty, like older than 12/13. People who avoid natal puberty completely seem to be happy. I think if passing was really possible for me then my gender dysphoria would go away based on a few times when I accidentally passed and felt what that feels like. I don’t know about trans brains, but I do think we have minds that expected to live in the oppositte sex and that this makes it hard for us to feel normal in the sex we ended up in