Because they tell you it's about your identity and they manipulate you into thinking your sense of self is completely based off of arbitrary things like pronouns, whether you pass etc, which puts SO much importance on the idea that being a man/woman is dressing like them, talking like them etc all superficial bs qualities that only contribute to 10% of what it actual means to be either one, so little that you can completely ignore it if anything. When they put your sense of self into question, they've completely got you wrapped around their ethereal collective political/ideological finger tips and it's all down hill from there until you come to the realization that your gender is immutably linked to who you were born as, and then you realize how little things like "he/she/they" contribute to who your soul actually is.

I do feel like maybe only 1% of trans people aren't just being influenced in some capacity/ dealing with other things like depression or just not being where they need to be in life. Transphobia itself doesn't make sense, so most transphobes aren't even transphobes, it's just the fact that you're seeing people actively fight for a misguided uninformed ideology and dragging others down with them

Whenever I hear people say "I don't feel like a ___" it's always very telling because that means that in your head, there is an idea of a man or a woman, there's some ethereal form of either one that you can perceive enough to compare it to your own self, but that's almost always iffy. You imagine you might be better at being a man, but that requires you to understand the intricacies of being a man, which you physically can't and never will solely because your immutable perception is dependent on being a woman, so when that happens, what the perception of a man ends up being is whatever you see personally, the very surface 5% of what being a man is, and you apply that to yourself without applying the other 95% almost like saying "i feel like I enjoy red the most" but you're completely colorblind, you can see that red might be a little darker than something like white, however you just can't physically say something informed like "I enjoy red the most and it is the best color even if I wasn't color blind" because the actual inherent understanding (the most important part) isn't there.

The inverse of that is important too, you can only perceive the world through your eyes, so with other women, your perception is a lot deeper because you can see things men can't for example but it's still a 30% surface level view, a caricature of what other women are, and you compare yourself against that caricature without understanding which very very specific underlying qualities and traits are shared with other women and aren't just random coincidences because the lottery of personality decided to make you make decisions this way or that way. Gender dysphoria is almost always paired with other mental health issues, so before you get to that, ask yourself "Am I truly, genuinely happy?" if the answer is no, ask yourself "Deep down inside, why am I not as happy as I could be? why am I not as confident in my identity as I could be" and the answer isn't going to be "cause i was born in the wrong body!!" it's usually just something like your body insecurities piling up, or you hate the way you handle certain situations and when it's like that, it's easy to compare that against the CARICATURE of a man you have in your head, and pick the one that looks the most lustrous.

Transgender suicide rate isn't cause gender dysphoria is an illness that ruins your serotonin or something, transgenderism is literally just a byproduct of much bigger issues, like a lack of identity, depression, your body screaming at you to actually put in the work to become who you COULD be etc. I really don't think medical transition is as effective as it's said it is, but it by definition is impossible to A/B test for example

They won't forget about it, but it won't be a horrible thing like it is in your head right now. Remember having a weird phase as a 7 year old that your parents sometimes bring up and laugh about now but when it was fresh you would feel terrible about it? It's a similar thing here, it feels very real right now because you're living it, but to them it's just another phase, and to you it feels very real and you feel like you made an adult decision, but once your brain develops more and you gain some more years, you'll also recognize it was just a phase. I wouldn't worry about it too much at all, however, you are an adult, so just own up to the things you do however embarrassing they are. You can't ever erase your period of being young and cringe, so just own up to it, and laugh about it. But again, that'll take some time, cause to you it's still very important, but to everyone else it's just "haha what a cringe phase to have, I can't believe you fell for the identity politics propaganda" you'll feel that way eventually if you let yourself.

I'm so proud of you and I don't even know you. I love seeing posts like these, genuinely warms my heart seeing someone not only find reality again but ALSO seeing reality welcoming them back with open arms. You are ACTUALLY brave for making the switch back, much more brave than the people who over affirmed you told you you were originally, and I'm glad you're back on the track of true fulfillment.

I think your own experience helps you fully understand why so many people feel so strongly against transitioning, if you had went all the way, it would be mortifying feeling unwelcomed by reality solely because of societal manipulations and you going through a tough spot in your own head due to no fault of your own.

Of course, and yea I don't believe in it either, but honestly it's important to ask yourself that question often, because usually its 90% of the reason you feel one way or another. In my opinion, life is a journey of figuring out who you are, and not necessarily "creating" the person you will be. There's a lot of trauma that so many people endure, you and me included, that significantly affects not just the things we do, but the thoughts we have leading up to those things and even our thoughts questioning the thoughts we have that lead up to those things, once you can really see it for what it is, the noise gets a lot quieter and that can be life changing. You aren't happy right now, but I don't think the problem is in you being the wrong gender or anything like that, the problem is in trauma that actively makes your subconscious resist yourself for some very complex reasons that only you could ever know, just imagine yourself being the woman YOU imagine you could be with the thoughts that YOU imagine are healthy, thats your endgame, and it's very achievable, it just takes a lot of time but the coolest part is, you've already spent your whole life on the journey, so you aren't starting from nothing at all. Being true to yourself can often times be painful because the truth hurts, even when its yourself telling yourself, but it's that pain that can really chisel you and make you better. Never run away from who you are, let who you are tell you how to be, not the other way around and the happiness you seek will be ever so slightly closer